10CBF: A Podcast for Blended Families
S3-E6 "Stepfamily Architecture and Two-House Families" with Karen Bonnell
33 snips
Mar 22, 2022 
Karen Bonnell, a co-author of 'The Co-Parenting Handbook' and 'The Stepfamily Handbook', shares her insights from over 30 years of experience in family transitions. She discusses the complexities of navigating stepfamily dynamics and the significance of emotional support during these challenges. Communication strategies for step-parents and step-children are highlighted, along with the importance of respectful relationships. Bonnell emphasizes the necessity for tailored professional guidance in mixed family situations, encouraging a patient approach to building connections.
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Karen's Stepfamily Journey
- Karen Bonnell shared her personal experience of divorcing with two children aged 10 and 13 and navigating the complexities of stepfamily life, especially with teenagers.
- She described the difficulty of blending families with adolescents who mainly seek to reject parents rather than add new ones.
Unique Architecture of Second Families
- A second-time family has a very different architecture than a first-time family, involving longer parent-child alliances and external co-parent relationships.
- Therapists must understand this unique structure to avoid misguided advice based on first-family models.
Co-Parent with Respect
- Adults in blended families must maturely engage in respectful, civil communication with ex-partners as co-parents.
- Maintaining a strong, cooperative parenting coalition is crucial despite the emotional difficulties following divorce.
