Pandora’s Box: The Battle Between Control and Surrender

This week, I’m opening up about some very real feelings I'm sitting with as I prepare for a family trip to Italy — and the challenges that come with stepping away from routine when you live with OCD and have a complicated relationship with control, food, and movement.

I reflect on how holidays, for me, have often triggered a lot of anxiety rather than rest, and how I’m trying to approach this trip differently: with more spontaneity, curiosity, and self-compassion. I also talk about the importance of embracing childlike joy, silliness, and imperfection in a world that constantly pressures us to be productive and goal-driven.

You'll hear about:

• How my past patterns with holidays and control have looked — and how I’m trying to gently rewrite that narrative
• The concept of living life now, not as preparation for “real life” later
• How movement, spontaneity, and playful moments can be such powerful antidotes to heavy emotions
• The inner critic that creeps in when things feel unstructured — and how I'm learning to soften its voice
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Finally, I share a little about last week's conversation with Emma Healey on overexercise, identity, and healing, and why it resonated so deeply with me.

If you've ever struggled with the pressure to get holidays "right," the need to control the uncontrollable, or simply allowing yourself to just be — I hope this episode reminds you that you're not alone.

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