Becoming the Best Version of Yourself with Ariana Jahja

On this episode of the Circuit of Success, host Brett Gilliland interviews Ariana Jahja about her journey and the things she has learned from business leaders. Ariana shares her story of moving from Bosnia to Germany and then to the United States, and how this experience made her question the world and its people. She emphasizes the importance of asking great questions and listening to people to help them feel seen and heard, as well as the importance of energy management and understanding one’s physiological state. Lastly, she talks about the concept of flow states and how to achieve them, as well as the importance of recovery and the MacGyver Method.

Tune in to learn more about how to become a better version of yourself!

https://youtu.be/LtFPp0kWvzY

Speaker Brett Gilliland: Welcome to the Circuit of Success Podcast. Welcome on back. Your Speaker Ariana Jahja: host, Greg. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Welcome to the Circive Success. I am Brett Gilland in Gilliland. I’ve got Ariana Jahja. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. You got it. Speaker Brett Gilliland: You say that right? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yes. But Speaker Brett Gilliland: the name like Gilliland, you know, I was, struggle with last name. She gotta be you gotta be careful. So Warian, it’s awesome to have you. Been looking forward to it. And, we’re gonna have a great conversation today. But like I start out all conversations with on the circuit of success is what’s made you the woman you are today. I know you’ve got a great backstory of, on on who you are, but if you could, share that with our listeners, get to know you a little bit. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Absolutely. That’s a loaded question, but an exciting question because, I see that, you have your, journalist as future past, and I feel that what’s made me the woman I am today is my adversity that I’ve been through when I was a child. So moving from Bosnia to Germany, to then here, was tough. It was tough. I was I was little, and I went through a lot of, you know, who am I? Do I fit fit in here? Do I fit in here? You know, what who do I wanna be? What does it mean that my country had genocide? Right? Like, I’m going deep already, but it’s, you know, there was a lot of existential things that I went when I was a child. And you Speaker Brett Gilliland: were, like, six. Right? Speaker Ariana Jahja: When I was six, that really made me question everything. And I I don’t say that lightly. It just really made me question why do people do the things that they do? And, you know, why is there evil? Because I witnessed it when I was really little. So what made me me is really just having this mindset of, like, I know people can be good because my parents are really good people, but at the same time, there are bad people in this world. And so how do I study this? Speaker Brett Gilliland: How Speaker Ariana Jahja: do I study the mind? How do I study mindset the p, you know, humans so that I can then do something with that later on? Speaker Brett Gilliland: So you you thought that early on. And even at 06:10, twelve year old girl, Speaker Ariana Jahja: here you Speaker Brett Gilliland: are going through basically hell. Right? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: And and you’re thinking I’m gonna study the mind and figure this out and help people. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. I just needed answers. Like, it was it was really confusing as a little child to be watching this disaster. You know, just like now, we’re watching in the in the Ukraine and all over the world. And but as a child, you are really connected to something else. And it makes you angry. It makes you fearful. And so I’ve always just thought, I’m going to figure out how to be. How do I wanna be? How do I wanna Gilliland how can I make a difference? Like, as a child, you feel kind of hopeless, but that fuels you later on. And I think that’s kind of why I’m here. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. That’s amazing. So talk about your journey. So you obviously then came in the United States and, you know, went to school and did all those things. And and decided to to take this to a next, the next step. At glow now. You work at glow with Whitney. And, Whitney’s awesome. She’s been on the podcast before. And so talk to us about that. Like, what made you take that next step and and to do what you’re doing now? And for those people that watch billions, I always joke with, Wittany. You probably know where I was going. Yeah. Yeah. What’s her name, Wendy? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Wendy. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Wendy. Wendy. I can’t remember Wendy’s last name on Gilliland, but, yeah, you’re like Wendy. Right? You’re like a wendy. You go into businesses. You work with leaders. You work with the companies, and you help them get to that next level. And so That’s right. Gonna dive into that today for those people listening on on really the things that we do. And I know controlling energy is a big one for you, getting in the flow state all those things. But but talk to us right now what you’re what you’re learning from business leaders out in this world that are doing amazing things. What what’s maybe something common theme that you’re seeing out there today? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. So just kinda go back to the the journey of going from studying psychology and being sort of in this HR world, if you will, from my early career on, to meeting Celeste and Whitney. Ironically, I have my own podcast, and I got connected with them, and they invited me to or I invited them to be on my podcast. I mean, you talked. And during that conversation, had this big spark, talk about energy, which was like, We are both wanting to support people in getting to their fullest potential. They are doing it with businesses, and I was doing it with the people. Yep. And we both talked about energy. Right? The e in glow stands for energy, and I am a firm believer and I had just gotten out of this training with, the flow research collective, which, the leader is Steven Cottler, and Steven T Cottler talks a lot about flow states. And so I had just gotten out of this cool training with him, with his team. I met Whitney and Celeste, and it was just like this, like, movie moment, but we were like, you know what? Let’s do this together. Because we we all know that organizations are made out of humans, and the humans that are leading it, the the leaders to see suite There’s a lot going on there, the gatekeepers. Right? And how can we support the gatekeepers to be at their best at their fullest potential so that it can trickle down into the organization. And that’s sort of how the Gilliland Ariana journey started. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So I I think that’s, I I connect with that anytime, but it’s about humans. It’s about right. We talk about people or culture. And I interviewed the former president of Starbucks International one time on the podcast. And he said that, you know, Starbucks thing was we’re in the people business. And you you think of Starbucks, you think coffee. Right? They’re like, we’re in the people this. And then they just happen to like coffee. Right? That’s the common thing there. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Exactly. Speaker Brett Gilliland: And so I think that’s huge. But again, what what are you seeing out there in the market place today, you know, coming out of COVID and the world’s opening back up, thank god, and all the things that that we’ve learned over these last, you know, three or four years. What are you seeing the most, that business leaders are struggling with right now? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yes. That’s a good question. There are several things, but I think one of the things is that we have a lot of ten leaders. We have a lot of people who are good at what they do. We have a lot of high performing leaders. Right? But What we don’t have is leaders that can a be trusted and leaders who have a regulated nervous system. And while they’re potentially, you know, creating the results that they need to be, They are showing up every day. They’re doing the work that they need to be doing. They’re miserable when they go home to their families. And they don’t have hobbies. They don’t necessarily know how to find hobbies. They’re confused. Right? There are levels where they have the money, but they don’t really know or have time to use that money. And so what I’m what I’m really finding is that supporting people in looking at what’s actually important to them, And then shedding has been a huge support for a lot of leaders. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Getting rid of things in your life is a is a big deal. We we do that here at visionary wealth advisors. I mean, we sit down with people every day and talk about their goals or dreams or aspirations. Yep. And that shedding is is good. Right? Because sometimes it may be people, if you gotta shed, it may be habits, it may be things that are going on in your life every day. And so so what what’s that process like? I know me, I always talk about ADT, ask, don’t tell. It’s asking great questions and letting them answer the question. Because then when they come up with that, it’s it’s their idea. Oh, that’s great. Yeah. Instead of giving it to them. So is that something that you are a big fan of? I mean, asking great questions. What’s that process? How are you business leaders all over the world. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Questions and listening is huge. I saw this, article the other day on one of the places I followed, it said coaches stop talking. It’s because as coaches, we we have to sit with the people so that they feel seen heard, because what I’m seeing a lot is leaders coming in, and they just want to be heard. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Right? Speaker Ariana Jahja: They but not from a perspective of competency and executive brain and your planning, but you, who you are. Yeah. And as a leader, Right? And just to say the things that you can’t say to your leaders, because you’re always being watched. People are always watching you. And so There’s it gets confusing, right? It’s like you have these feelings Gilliland you have these emotions, but this is who you should be, and then you get lost somewhere in that process. And so as a sitting with them and listening and asking questions and reflecting back. What I’m hearing, because sometimes when we think it we just think it, and then we kinda let go of it. And I reflected back to them and they hear hear me say it. They have aha moments because they’re like, well, wait, actually. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Did I just say that? Speaker Ariana Jahja: I just say that or what do I do I really believe that? Yeah. It’s really challenging the way that they’re thinking. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Business partner Tim Hammond is really good at that. He’s he’s let me let me say back what I’ve just heard you say. Right? And that and he does that to people when you’re in a meeting and it’s you know, he’ll articulate the ten points you just talked about. And it’s like, wow. You know, that that makes people feel really good. So for those listening, I mean, I think you can do that in conversations, I’ve just I’ve seen it so many times. I’ve seen it thousands of times with people, the same back to them. What they’ve just said is a big connecting factor for them. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Oh, yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So you said just a little bit ago, you talked about regulated nervous system. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So let’s talk about that because I I’m a guy. I don’t know if you if this is what you mean or not, but I was a guy early on, and still to this day have it, but I’ve learned to deal with it, making an ally, is, the anxiety, the nerves. Is that kinda where you’re going with that, or you mean something completely different? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yes. So part of it is that, because actually anxiety and nerves, we can use that as fuel. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Right? So that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It becomes a bad thing when you are literally physically disregulated, meaning that your me in a state called fight or flight. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yes. Speaker Ariana Jahja: And so when we are in fight or flight, our heart is pumping. Right? Our pupils are dilating. Things are happening for us to be able to be in flow and drop into focus. Right? Now that’s good when we actually need to use it. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Right. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Not good for us if we’re constantly thinking that there’s something wrong because that’s how we actually get sick. Like, that’s how we break down, that’s how we burn out. And so what I support people in doing is, you know, I’m I’m a really big fan of tracking define your data. So I have something called an or a ring. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Oh, yeah. Speaker Ariana Jahja: And I track, you know, what’s what are my HRV levels, which means heart rate variability Gilliland that tells a story, right? And so it gives me information and gives my leaders information on what what do I need to be doing today differently? Right? If I’m overwhelmed, because my nervous system is jacked, I probably shouldn’t be packing my days back to back. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I’m I’m pulling this up because I couldn’t agree more. I have, I wear a woot bracelet. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Oh, sweet. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So it does the exact same thing, and I do my journal this morning. But but it it’s it’s cool because it does a, a stress, and it tells you where you’re at. So, like, right now, which I, I love this, because to what your point is, I go through it through a day, and I’ll find out where my highest peak moments were where I was most stressed. Then I’ll see what I was doing in that moment. But you know what’s crazy? If I’m sitting in a client meeting or I’m doing a like, right now I’m at point nine, which is really low stress. Right? And so I’m finding that when I am doing something, I love doing. So I think people gotta be clear what they love doing. And then put more of that on your calendar. Yeah. Right? I’m at a point nine right now because I love having these conversations with people. If I’m sitting down with a client, I’d be at a point nine as well because I love saying no Speaker Ariana Jahja: to the point. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So so talk more about that because I couldn’t agree more with you because that’s something that I monitor, you know, every single day. How do we help these people listening right now get to more of that low stress state Speaker Ariana Jahja: and Speaker Brett Gilliland: doing something that theoretically could be stressful. Right? Like, this could be stressful. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Well, the the way that I describe it is, and this is how it was kinda taught to me in my training through FRC was Imagine you’re a lion, lions, and the way we wanna operate is fifty percent of the time you wanna be like a lion sleeping. If you watch a lion, he’s sleeping, he’s resting, he’s not moving. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Fifteen hours a day or something. Right. Yeah. Speaker Ariana Jahja: And then There’s prey or it’s some, you know, he needs food. He jumps thumbs up and works. Right? He gets that prey and it’s all it’s stress. It’s fight or flight. Right? And that’s how we Jahja look at our days is fifty, fifty, fifty percent of the time we’re recovering, fifty percent of the time we’re working hard. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Okay. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Right? And so what I really want people to look at is, you know, even just open up your calendar today and look at how are you scheduling your meetings? So just recently, I made a client just literally pull up his, calendar, and he said to me, you know, how can I He he said, how can I continue after 4PM without this and this? And he, you know, it was water and coffee or water and coffee and, like, another caffeinated drink. And I just looked at him and I’m like, well, unless you want cocaine. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Right. Right. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Right? There’s other ways to do this. Like, stop pushing, stop drugging yourself. Stop, right, because there are other natural ways, and that’s recovery. We have to have the grit to recover. This is something else that I teach is so many of us are so used to just going, going, going because it’s the old programming of the old way of doing is that we should fill up our calendars with all the things because that’s what is rewarded as competence. Right? And so a lot of people are robbing you. So if you today want to change, just look at even just leaving a little buffer between your me meetings. It doesn’t have to be an hour. It could be thirty minutes. And instead of having that extra cup of coffee or getting on your phone between meetings, take a nap. Fat your door if you’re in your office, it’s, you know, closing your eyes, and it’s called yoga, Nidra as well. Right? We don’t have to nap, but we need just Nidra. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Okay. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Something that people can look up where you’re literally just turning off your brain, and I know you like meditation. Right? Meditating for five minutes. So it’s just really looking at your day differently and allowing yourself to recover. And I Speaker Brett Gilliland: think it’s hard, though. Right? I know for me when I was I got to the point. I got to the tipping point where you had a panic attack in a meeting, in a client meeting. And I didn’t know what was going on, you know, and and say, hell, I thought I was having a heart you know, and and this is gosh, this is probably ten and a half, eleven years ago now. And but I but I think it’s hard for us leaders. Don’t you think? Because, like, I was hard charging and I still am and go go go go go go. And if I’m sitting down in my office with a door shut and just kinda taking some deep breaths, for years. It it took me a long time to get through this because I’m like, oh, you’re being a failure. Don’t be weak. Right? You should be on the phone. You should be doing this. You should be doing that. And I think it takes a lot of time for us. And if that’s a guy thing, I think it’s probably men and women struggle with that. They’re hard charges. Right? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. How how do you tell that person? Because I would just tell them that they gotta do it. They gotta take a couple years to get through that process. But I have found for me slowing down to speed up. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Mhmm. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I have to take time away. Vacation. Right? Just go back from a vacation. If it’s meditation, it’s buffer. I just did a video on social media that talked about. I used to be back to back to back to back appointments. I have found now that I need a buffer. I don’t like going back to back to back to back to back and just being crazy. Exactly. I like Speaker Ariana Jahja: that buffer. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So when you hear me say all that stuff, what are your thoughts? And how do we help people? Speaker Ariana Jahja: So, yeah, so just shifting the mindset from time management to energy management because we all naturally. So I wanna start off too with, you know, we’re animals first. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Mhmm. Speaker Ariana Jahja: We we have a biology that requires certain things that I don’t care how smart you are. Your body is gonna need certain things in order for you to be able to be successful long term. So I think the more people can learn about their own physiological states and how their nervous system operates, the easier it will be for them to comprehend why they need what they need. Right? So understanding a knowledge of self Meaning, yes, mindset is important. Trust me. I love mindset, but really knowing, you know, what is the nervous system? What is fight or flight? What is it feel like when my when I’m in fight fight or flight, and how can I am at how can I notice that I’m in that state? Right? And so that’s number one. Is really figuring out how does it work, knowledge in an an energy management because we all have different of energy levels. Like, you I love that you track yours on on your watch, by really recognizing, are you a morning person or are you a night person? Because there’s something called a chronotype, and this is something that we are born with. And so really figuring that, there’s a there’s a specific formula that I can maybe even sent to you that people can take a a quiz to figure out. Yeah. Am I a lark? Am I supposed to be up at four? And am I not am I not allowing myself to do that? Am I a night owl? And I’m forcing myself to be a morning person? Because that’s gonna matter. Right? When do you do your best work and then schedule everything around that? And that’s what I help people do. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. It’s cool. I’m glad to hear you’re born with that. Because I have, you know, y’all these books with waking up at five in the morning and all these people that do all this stuff. And quite frankly, I hate it. I I can’t stand it. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Thank you. I’m I’m a lot to say about that. Speaker Brett Gilliland: But I’ve but I’ve beat myself up over it for years. I did. Right? It was like, oh, and, you know, real winners get up at five in the morning or 04:52 or, you know, whatever the number is. Right? There’s random numbers, and it’s like, I can’t I don’t like it. I I try it. I’ll do it for a week and a half, and then I’m just pissed off and then I don’t do it anymore. Right? Yeah. My most creative thinking, my time in my journals, it the kids are in bed or whatever. Now it’s downtime. Like, that’s where I most creative at night. I have to make myself go to bed because that’s when I find my flow. So I’m glad to hear that. And so you said you had a lot more to talk about it. Let’s dig into that one. Speaker Ariana Jahja: So let let yeah. Let’s stay there for a second because, you know, the past, like, I remember about ten years ago or so when, like, IG was really Instagram was coming up and remember thinking, I just Jahja find someone that does it the right way, and I just wanna follow what they do because that’s that’s how it’s done. Right? And so I think ever since, there’s been some of this culture. It’s like, let me look up this influencer and see what they do because, you know, they’re successful, whatever successful means. Yeah. Right? And I’m gonna copy what they do, and it’s just awful because there is no one way. There is not even a one way right way for for us, for me and you specifically. Right? Let alone to follow someone else’s energy levels because we are all designed differently. We all have different backgrounds, different traumas, different risk versions, different neurobiologies. And so what has happened is people have really gotten disconnected from who they are. Biologically, but also who they are as a person, right, and they’re following these things that they think they should be doing, and they end up with more stuff on their Gilliland more unhappy. Yep. Because it’s not fulfilling them. So so morning routines, you know, make up your own, whatever feels right. And is waking up bad, early bad? No. Of course, you’re gonna get more done. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Right. Speaker Ariana Jahja: But how are you going to feel at 3PM? Speaker Brett Gilliland: So let’s walk through that. So let let’s let’s assume that I don’t everything we just talked about, and I don’t know when I met my best. Okay. I’m I’m your like. Okay? And you’re gonna help me. You want me to take it to the next level. I wanna take it to the next level. What’s that process look like? So maybe somebody that doesn’t hire you or hire a coach, How are we walking them through where to find out how I can be at my best? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Well, it it will always start with kind of your your current state. So what I do in in VIP sessions with my clients is, you know, we get into a room for about four hours and what I would ask them is, you know, tell me everything that’s going on right now. Speaker Brett Gilliland: You might keep interrupting my can. Yep. So, again, think about this for those listening. Four hours. Okay. Right? Four hours of time. Not like, oh, in twenty minutes, you’re gonna figure this out. Yeah. Right? Four hours, you’re gonna just be pelt me with questions. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. So questions about well, actually, you know, many times I will go into the past. Because how we think about our past is past is how we define our future and what we do in the in the present. So a lot of times, I will listen to are there any contaminate contamination stories that are happening in their past? Okay. And then from that, we will then say, okay, what’s the current state what’s working, what’s not working. And then, okay, where do you Jahja go? What what is what is the future in an ideal world or you at your highest, and I have them answer those questions. And then as I’m listening, you know, taking notes and so forth, and then after the four hours, we then have a game plan on how to get to they’re trying to go. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Got it. Yep. There there’s alignment there. Right? You mentioned earlier, you know, our mission at at vision areas to help people achieve a future greater than their past. And it doesn’t mean you had a bad past. It doesn’t mean there’s a contaminated story in everybody’s past. Right? But we all want a future that’s greater than our past. So When you hear me say future greater than your past, what’s that mean for you personally on how we achieve a future greater than our past? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Well, number one is honesty. I think you have to be really, really honest with yourself saying Why do I want what I want? What did my past really mean? What did I did I do anything? Do I have any guilt? Do I have any shame? Do I have Speaker Brett Gilliland: any Right. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Hang ups, do I not let myself in off? Like, these are the questions that are going that are dri that drive us. Right? These are the emotions that drive us. So really getting honest about Why do I want to create, let’s say, a million dollars? What is that going to be for? Speaker Brett Gilliland: Mhmm. Speaker Ariana Jahja: And am I doing it to make myself feel better? Am I try am I doing it to prove a point to someone in fifth grade? Right? Like, should like that. Is right? Like, people do do things because of reasons that they were hurt in the past. And so honesty is really important because the only way to create a better futures to be really open about why. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I like that. So, honestly, number one. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Being able to be uncomfortable with when shit goes wrong. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yep. Speaker Ariana Jahja: I think so many so many of my clients, hit a pothole. So one of my clients said, you know, I I’ve hit a pothole, and I don’t know how to get out of it. And my answer was You’re gonna keep hitting potholes. It’s just how do you gracefully get out of that pothole? And, a, how can you look at the field, avoid potholes, And then when you do hit one, learn from the past potholes and get out of that one gracefully so that you can make it to the next level. I think so many people are not okay with being know, uncomfortable or wrong. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. It’s funny. I just had this discussion with my, one of my kids on vacation. I don’t even remember what I don’t even remember what the story was, but I just said, you’ve gotta learn to be comfortable, being uncomfortable. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yes. Speaker Brett Gilliland: You know? And, doesn’t mean you like it. Yep. Right? Doesn’t mean I like when I hit a pothole. Yeah. You’re gonna hit a Speaker Ariana Jahja: positive. Exactly. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So for me, I I call it strategic think time or STT. If you looked at my calendar right now, you’d see it on repeat every week, hour and a half. So ninety minutes, once a week, strategic thing time, that’s how I try to prevent puddles. Doesn’t, again, doesn’t mean that I’m going to not hit a pothole, but I’m trying to avoid it. Right? Yeah. So for me, again, it’s it’s journaling, it’s thinking it’s it’s trying to see the future even though that’s impossible, but trying to What what do you do personally to help you get to that next level? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Mhmm. For me, it’s, running It’s boxing. It’s it’s doing physical activity because what I have noticed, tracking. So to, you know, to go back to your point is, you know, in order to gracefully get out of those or avoid those potholes, is our our nervous system has to be regulated. And exercise is one of the best ways. I mean, sleep is number one. Okay. And so if you had to choose between sleep and exercise, Speaker Brett Gilliland: to sleep. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Always sleep. Sleep. Right. But exercise is really, really important because we release something called anandamide. They had an anandamide. And what that does is it helps with anxiety. And so if you have low anxiety, we’re more likely to obviously be better humans because we can connect with people more. We can get into flow states a lot more. And so for me, running is really is a lab. Right now. It used again, it used to be boxing, but now it’s more, you know, how can I push myself really, really hard during that run? So that I can take what I’m learning here now into the outside world. It’s a safe space for me to do that. So exercise for me for sure and then also getting getting my sleep. I don’t I don’t care what’s going on. Speaker Brett Gilliland: You’re eight hours a day person? Or are you, like, six, seven? Try at Speaker Ariana Jahja: least. Seven and a half? Yeah. Seems to be my my number. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. I can I at seven? I’m like, good. Sometimes if I have too much sleep, I’m like, I’m actually tired. I agree. Speaker Ariana Jahja: I agree. I’m tired, Speaker Brett Gilliland: but — Yeah. — I have told myself to go to bed as I stated earlier. So you’ve you’ve mentioned it numerous times today. You you people that are into this personal growth stuff, you hear the flow state. Right? So define that for us. What does I mean, I I obviously clearly think I understand it, but I wanna hear from professional standpoint? How do you define what flow state means? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Sure. Yeah. So flow states are states where we feel and perform our best. They are different than meditation. So I’ll I’ll use meditation and flow. Right? So meditation, for example, we feel we might feel good. It might be hard, but we’re shutting off our pre our new brain, our prefrontal cortex. We’re trying to really decrease thoughts in class. Low states are states where the challenge of what we’re trying to do in the skill that we have are like in a goldilocks state. And so all of a sudden, we are losing sense of self. We are loo we’re in control. We feel in control because everything is falling in place. Right? And we are in the state where time doesn’t really exist the way that it usually does. Right? So we can think of maybe moments where you felt that way, but I I there plenty at times for, like, even dancing for me sometimes, it’s like, oh, I I know exactly what to do here. So I’m, like, in a flow state, but it’s it’s a cool feeling. Right? And so what we used to think is that it was just a switch where it’s like, okay, now I’m not in flow, now I’m flow. But what we’re learning and Again, the neuroscience behind this is it’s interesting, but nobody really actually knows what happens. If anyone tells you, I know exactly what happens. It’s not true. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Will be us. Speaker Ariana Jahja: But what we know is it’s a cycle. There are four stages we have to go through in order to be in flow. And and that’s what I coach people on as well is really teaching them if you are in this stage, what do you need to be doing to be in flow. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Can you tell us those stages? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Sure. So the first stage is the struggle phase. So during the struggle phase, you know, according to to Steven Copler. This is where we sit down to do a task, and it might feel really uncomfortable. This is the time when you’re like, oh, I don’t know this. You know, you just, you’re you get antsy, you Jahja get up, you wanna move. That’s because there’s a lot of cortisol, and norepinephrine, which is a type of adrenaline. And what happens is it it you don’t know how to do it and you have to focus. Right? And so that’s why you have cortisol in nore, norepinephrine because you have to focus on the task at hand, and now you have to use your working memory to say, how do I do this? And past memory to say, have I ever done anything like this before? Now, this is where the challenge skill comes in. If the challenge is too hard, gonna have too much anxiety. You’re not gonna be able to get into flow. So that’s we have to get through the struggle phase into release. And in release phase is when those moments when you’re like running or taking a shower and all of a sudden, all the stuff comes through. You’re like, oh my gosh. I know this answer and this answer, and this is what I should tell this client, and I don’t know if you’ve experienced that before. Speaker Brett Gilliland: The weirdest times. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. So that’s the release phase. So we really wanna design our days where that’s where the recovery comes into is like, If you’re constantly trying to force solving a problem, it’s not gonna work. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Right. Speaker Ariana Jahja: You have to walk away from the problem. Once you walk away from the problem, so for me running, I get downloads, I take my notes out, I type it, I go back to my desk, and I get into flow, because now I’ve had this. Speaker Brett Gilliland: That was your release. Yeah. So you’re taking notes while you’re running or you just check the number at all? Speaker Ariana Jahja: So most of the time, I take I’ll I’ll write down one word you know, to remember because as soon as I get back, I Jahja get back into flow. And then after flow, you have to recover because you are using up so much of the feel good chemicals that if you push it too far, you’re gonna have such a hard, come down It’s like, it’s literally you got all the best feeling drugs in your body. Right? You got the dopamine, you got serotonin, you got like all the all the goodies, right, oxytocin. And so all of a sudden, if you don’t recover, you’re gonna not do well the next day. Might wake up and you might feel like, oh, I feel depleted. I feel depressed. Right? And so the recovery piece is really important. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So that’s number three. Is that what’s the so number three is what? So you got struggle phase, release phase. Number three is flow. State. The flow. Okay. Yep. And then number four is the — Cover. — is recovery. And for you, recovery could be, it’s sleep, obviously. It it’s running. What else are you helping people with that you’re finding a lot Speaker Ariana Jahja: of great question. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Takeaways from recovery. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. So recovery, we have active recovery and passive recovery. So active recovery, would be walking in nature. It would be, meditating. It would be taking a hot shower, an ice bath, And then passive recovery is more, you know, sitting sitting with friends, maybe, not alcohol. I not nothing against alcohol, and you love me some wine and and beer. But it’s not a good activity to recover. Right? Because it’s, T. V. Is not Speaker Brett Gilliland: from that recovery. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Exactly. TV is not a good recovery because you are actually your brain is actually active, and then takes you away out of the flow state. I hear Speaker Brett Gilliland: I hear too not to read a really exciting, like, for me, I love reading business books, but I hear, like, even though it’s good to read in bed before you go to sleep, sometimes you can hear that it’s not great to necessarily read the business book because I find myself — Yes. — there’s an idea Now I sit there for the next thirty minutes instead of falling asleep, I’m thinking in my I’m already designing what I need to be doing for that thing. Right? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yes. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So you agree with that? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Yeah. Because you’re almost kind of getting into a flow state there because you’re like I’m trying to solve the problem and Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Yeah. — Speaker Ariana Jahja: you know, you don’t have so the release might happen during your sleep. Right? And so, one of the things that is really fun that I will say is delegating to your unconscious. Right? So if you do have big business problems and you want your unconscious to solve for it, especially when you’re in sleep. Write the question down and then let it go. So it’s called the macgyver method. So saying, you know, what should I do about this client? Gilliland then you write down. Okay. I’m going to come back to this question tomorrow at 8AM. And what’s gonna happen is your unconscious is gonna start solving for it through pattern recognition and sleep because of me doing rem sleep is actually where we solve a lot of our problems. And so if we don’t get that rem sleep, we wake up more stressed. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Right. So so it’s actually going on in our minds, right, that even we’re sound asleep, have no idea That’s when you wake up with those ideas. It’s because our brain is working even when we don’t know it. Yeah. That’s amazing. Speaker Ariana Jahja: And that’s the part to be honest is that I I struggle with with a lot of leaders is when they have a hard time letting go. And I’ll you know, a lot of our problem solving, a lot of our greatness happens when we are not doing the thing. And so when we see people who packed their calendars and who are always doing the next and next and next. Yeah. It’s because they’re trying to control too much. They’re trying to control with what? They’re prefrontal cortex, the new brain. Not allowing the unconscious to do what it needs to do in order to solve for what needs to be solved. Right? So we we pushed you hard and we don’t allow. Eve. Speaker Brett Gilliland: It’s fascinating stuff, Jeff. Jeff, our producer over here. He’s kicking butt. So the the circuits of success are your attitude, your belief system, the actions that you have to take to get results, right, whatever those results are in your life. That’s that’s the whole point of this podcast. So when you hear me say the word action, I wanna lead with this, is I find sometimes where I get frustrated is the it’s the whole paralysis by analysis. Right? People have to over analyze everything. They have to have all the answers before they just do something. And I believe Not that I’m always right. Mhmm. But I believe sometimes you just have to take action. Right? Build the bridge as you’re crossing the river. Right? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yes. Speaker Brett Gilliland: But a lot of people can’t do that. So what thoughts actions, takeaways, advice would you have for somebody that just is constantly being paralyzed by overanalyzing everything. Speaker Ariana Jahja: So good. Yeah. Well, be be one complexity in life. Complexity is what helps us gather information and take that information and then decide the next step. So I think for people who want the, you know, the right answer, have it perfect, you know, just say, there is no right answer. There’s only learning And I think the more action you can take, the more of an evolved human being you become because, you know, the information that we get, we then curate and calibrate Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yep. — become the next level. So when you’re stuck in the analysis pro paralysis is really, you know, What’s the what’s the first step? What’s the smallest little tiny step that you can take that feels safe? And then from that, take all the other steps. Because what I see people do is like they’re trying to go from one to fifteen. Speaker Brett Gilliland: That’s true. Speaker Ariana Jahja: When they haven’t haven’t done one, two, three, four. Right? I was just coaching my husband on this last night. Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So you were coaching him. Yeah. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Because he was like, oh, I’m gonna do this. And I’m like, okay, but you skipped step five six seven. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Speaker Ariana Jahja: So, you know, let’s get back to it, but there’s a whole podcast and if you should or should not coach your spouse. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Listen to that. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Usually, I well, I should try that. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I’m getting coached. So I read something you talked about, Mirneuron, Neuroon, So what is that? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Yeah. So I love that. So we all have of these neurons that if we try to be they match how the other person’s neurobiology is, happening. Right? So if you are if your nervous system is relaxed and I come in to have to talk to to you, I will mirror that energetically. So fascinating. Right? And so I don’t know if you can think of situations, right, where, like, you walk into a room and you’re so stressed and someone is really calm and you’re like, I wanna be around this person. Right. Maybe you’re an maybe a dog or, you know, like, just being around them. And then the opposite. I’ll say Speaker Brett Gilliland: flip side could also happen. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Absolutely. Right? If you have a leader who’s always stressed and going on fumes, you’re gonna feel that. You don’t they don’t even have to say anything. You’re just even on Zoom. Like, I know for myself, some of my clients, I feel them on Zoom. Yeah. And I get, like, Speaker Brett Gilliland: the vibes. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. So it’s like how do you put walls up and how do you breathe through these situations is really, really important as well, so you don’t get their energy. Speaker Brett Gilliland: And I think you just said breathe through their that situation too is, I think, is is important because for me, meditation is not just sitting in a quiet room. In breathing. Right? Meditation can act be active. I call it active meditations. I can be in a meeting with something. And if I’m feeling that stress, come, like, I could be meditating right now when you’re talking and you not know it. Right? I think if we get really good at breathing, the more we breathe, because I think we’re all as human beings, we’re we’re shallow breathers. Right? We just breathe fast and a lot. I think it’s just slowing down even in a meeting and taking that deep breath. Where it doesn’t have to be awkward or obvious, but just slow down. Take a breath. Right? And to your point there on the, mirror neurons, I read in a book a long time ago when I was starting a business is that it’s and I’m assuming this is scientifically proven, but you can feel somebody’s energy from their heart, like, within, like, ten or fifteen. Yeah. So, you know, you see that hole or hear the, you can feel when they walk. You know when somebody walks in a room. Like, you know that energy. Right? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So my question to that is there are also days you may not have the energy that you know you need to have as as well trained and studied and and equipped as you are. There’s still days you don’t wanna do it. Right? So how do we get through those days, you don’t wanna do it and still bring that good positive vibe and that energy. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. I think that the breath breath is really, really important. I think if you can really figure out how to breathe your way into energy, right? So so there are certain as you can do that. I think for me, I think Huberman talks about the, psychological sigh. That’s one that always saves me, especially if sometimes I just wanna respond and react and I go, so if you ever see me doing that, I’m like, okay, trying to get energy to to respond, but yeah, there there are going to be days, we’re gonna have to push through. And I think it’s it’s going to be important to remember the why And remember, and give you, and give yourself grace, you know, that you might not be perfect that day. But if you have a history of showing up strong, for your people and you have one day off and being vulnerable and saying, you know, I’m I’m tired today or I’m struggling with this today. You know, I think that try to fake it too much. It’s it’s very obvious, and I think it confuses people. Speaker Brett Gilliland: That’s the that old saying fake it till you make it. That I get that, but it also somewhat annoys me. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Absolutely. Same. Speaker Brett Gilliland: How about we just be transparent and vulnerable and go out and build relationships Gilliland good things will happen? So, last few things here, Whitney, said to me, I I asked her about you. Obviously, I was doing my research. And I said, what’s what’s one of her? What’s one of the best things about Ariana? And she said, your unique, abilities, how the uniqueness about you is how you help leaders move from their old ways to their new ways. At such a rapid pace. And and I think that’s a very big compliment, right, because it’s the old can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but that’s what you’re doing every single day. Right? And so What is it about you that helps me, people like me get to point a to point b or point z, quicker and and in a better way? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Well, I like to always talk about the, well, that’s nice of her to say. I love that. I like to talk about the eighty twenty rule, right, where, you know, the eighty percent of Can I custom this button? Speaker Brett Gilliland: Oh, yeah. Okay. It cuts away. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Eighty percent of the shit that you’re doing that’s holding you back. Right? And really looking at what’s the twenty percent of things that I want to do that’s making me feel amazing. Right? And so, again, going back to the beginning of the conversation, it’s really what am I going to start saying no to? And then also, what am I going to exploit in my life? What are the projects that I’m gonna go really deep, and I’m going to learn how to get into flow doing these things. Right? Instead of doing them all. Tend to say, you know, we, and then we end up being so overwhelmed that we don’t do anything a hundred percent. Right? So eighty twenty rule is really, really great of, you know, what are the eighty percent of things in my life that I’m doing that I don’t need to be doing that are taking me away from getting to where I’m trying to go. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So, if we have our friend, Jeff here, follow you around these amazing cameras that he’s got, if we what were what were the things we would see out of your life? We followed you around, you know, for the next two or three days, no missed items that you’re doing to be at your peak performance. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Okay. So I think one of the things Get Speaker Brett Gilliland: energy on this one, you know, I see that. She’s she’s like, I got a good Well, Speaker Ariana Jahja: and I I have to be honest. It’s It’s a work in progress. Like, it’s one thing to know theory, and it’s another thing to practice that theory. So I won’t I won’t lie every day of my life. I this is my my lab. Yeah. Right? It’s like, let me try let me test this out to see how I feel. Am I living in and integrity with what I teach. Right? And so one of the main things is really being clear on my goals. So The last in our team is amazing. She is very good at, like, identifying. Okay. This is what’s priority this month. This is what’s priority this quarter. And then I do that with everything in my life is to say, what’s important to me this month so that I can filter everything through today to say Is it the eighty percent or is it is it the twenty percent? Right? So which things do I need to say yes to in order to get to that goal faster? Be through leverage. And so, My calendar is everything. I I write everything down, and follow that and and and take naps. If you follow me, I I take a lot of naps. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So you’re you’re okay just shutting it down in the middle of day and just I Speaker Ariana Jahja: have learned to. It was really hard before because I feel that energy. Like, I’ll lay down. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Is it like an hour or like ten minutes? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Oh, no. It’s like, typically, my ring says fifteen minutes. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Okay. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Sleep twenty five minutes laying down because it takes me a while. So so laying down and you feel the energy flowing through you. Like, it’s processing. So I if I had a client, it was a really challenging call, I’ll lay down, and I’m like, turn off my brain, and I feel their energy coming through me, the ideas of, like, shedding, if there’s anything toxic needs to be, like, go off. That that’s probably my Number one, that and running has been my number one fuel to be at a higher level doing projects that I’m doing. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I like to You know, I’ve saw recently. I think I might buy them because I keep thinking about them. Are these smart, the smart goggles? Have you seen those things? They’re like like the they’re like a big They’re like goggles. You can’t see through them, but they’re like, they do heat. They do cool. They do some massage. They do meditation stuff. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Wow. I have never heard this. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. They’re through that thera body. You know, like, the guns that you can do in your muscles. It’s the same company. And, I’m not paid to say that. I just and I’ve never even used them, so I don’t even know if they it could be a gimmick for all I know. Sorry there about it if you’re listening. But, I think I’m gonna get them because I think to your point of that slowing down some of that stuff can be very impactful. I don’t know why I said that, but I but I did Speaker Ariana Jahja: because I think Speaker Brett Gilliland: it’s important to to slow like I said, slow down. I don’t take naps, but that breathing thing for me is a Speaker Ariana Jahja: big Right. And it doesn’t have to be a nap. It is just sitting down to allow your physical body to process would just happen. Yeah. And especially if you’re trying to move fast, right, it’s like, you have to stop and process what happens. We can transition into the next thing. So transitions are really important to to to say, you know, I’m visualizing where I’m going next. How do I need to show up? And how can I process what just happened so I can step into this next Speaker Brett Gilliland: So talk to us about glow? How are you all helping people? Let’s let’s brag about glow for a while. Your guys’ office is amazing, by the way. Speaker Ariana Jahja: It’s cool. Right? All the all the pink? Yeah. Yeah. It’s Speaker Brett Gilliland: very cool. Just the building, the the entrance to your, to your office space. It’s cool. You Speaker Ariana Jahja: would think we work with all women, but we don’t. We don’t. We just allow men to embrace their feminine, which, you know, it’s it’s healthy. So so glow, The the thing that attracted me to glow at the most is that, you know, when we look at where we are right now today, is there is so much power. So many businesses have so much power, and I believe that most humans are good. But when you look at what’s happening sometimes with the way that wealth and power are distributed, it it worries me. Right? But I also at the core belief that people are doing the best that they know how to. And I think it’s just going to be getting people in place to support the transfer And so what really attracted me to to with me in SLS is, like, they fundamentally understand that, that, you know, they can come in and they it doesn’t have to be a rigidity to say, you know, do x y z, but follow that energy, follow that next right step, even though it might not be so great on paper. Right? But they they understand that fundamentally that, you know, there are ways to do that. And there’s a there’s a lot of work to be done. Yep. A lot of work to be done. And so I’m really excited about that. And Speaker Brett Gilliland: you’re helping people what I always talk about getting people off the treadmill of life. Right? Yeah. Slow down. Your busy leader, slow down. Let’s think where are we going. Clarity, you talked about that earlier. I think for any of us, they’re business leaders and and even leading our homes. Right? Just clarity on what the goal is. Yeah. Right? How do we want these kids to be raised? Is a is a big deal. So Well, Speaker Ariana Jahja: and one more thing I will just add to is, you know, playfulness. I think part part of, you know, with with glow too is the pink and the, and there’s a little bit of playfulness in all of this. Like, let’s not be so serious. And this is kind of my, you know, I wouldn’t say this is lows, but this is my, value as don’t ever take anything so fucking serious that you’re going to, like, be miserable over it. Right? Like there there’s this playfulness in life that we need to embrace. Because I think what we’ve done too much, so is gone too much to the right side of, like, everything has to be perfect. And The lightness and the fun has gotten lost a little bit. Right? And so that’s the other thing is, like, we we bring a little bit of, like, hey, let’s go. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I love that because Tim and I talk about that at work a lot is, like, if we start stop laughing — Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: — we’re done. Like, have fun, man. It’s two damn serious. You know? What’s, like, Speaker Ariana Jahja: That’s why I have to go dance and Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Yeah. — Speaker Ariana Jahja: let it all out. Right? Like you get your energy there. And Speaker Brett Gilliland: I love it. I love it. So where do our listeners find more of you? Speaker Ariana Jahja: So I am primarily on Instagram. Okay. That’s that’s my that’s my jam, and then also of course on LinkedIn. And our glow website, on there as well. Speaker Brett Gilliland: So we’re gonna play a game. Speaker Ariana Jahja: I’m sorry. Ultimate Podcast. Called the glow accelerator podcast. Speaker Brett Gilliland: The glow accelerator podcast. We’ll put all this in the show notes. It’ll be there. I just pulled up your Instagram here. So Pick a number between one and ten. We’re gonna play an Instagram game that we’re doing. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Let’s do seven. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Okay. Now between one and three, grab grab a number between one and three. Number two. Alright. You got somebody as surfing. Somebody is, you guys are doing some bench jumps, you’re on a beach, it looks like. You’re having Speaker Ariana Jahja: some Speaker Brett Gilliland: sometimes stepping away from the day to day can bring the most growth. We’ve been talking about that today. Recab of our family trip to San Diego and oceanside. I had figured out that play slash work trip with intention and purpose is my favorite kind of trip for me. Made some incredible connections and decisions ready to tackle the next quarter. So this is exactly what we’ve just been talking about, right? By this arena? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. That’s why Speaker Brett Gilliland: I love this. Talk to me about your trip to San Diego, oceanside. What was so amazing about it? Speaker Ariana Jahja: Well, my husband is originally from, California. He grew up in California. He was born here, but so a, you know, he’s a total California boy. So he was in his zone, if you will. So that was really cool. It was my son’s first time going to California, and I just love the ocean. It’s just something about the ocean where, like, it just relaxes you. It puts you in your place, you know, in Speaker Brett Gilliland: Well, some grounding. Right? I mean, it’s not grounding. Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yeah. Like, It it just makes you feel gratitude and connection. And my cousin from Germany came, and so she was with us, and I hadn’t seen her in years. So a very special trip I got. Actually, this is where I got this tattoo because, you know, palm trees are very resilient if there’s a storm or hurricane or whatever. It might be comes right back up and so that’s kinda I try to live my life is, you know, just gonna bring you down. But you don’t if you are so strong at your core Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Speaker Ariana Jahja: Yep. — you can go through anything. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I love it. I love it. Speaker Ariana Jahja: I love Speaker Brett Gilliland: where Annie has been awesome having you on the surge of success podcast. Thank you so much for being verse.