The Art of We 114. Power, Attachment & Secure Functioning with Ellen Boeder
Relationship therapist and couples coach Ellen Boeder joins us to explore the intersection of attachment, power dynamics, and secure functioning in partnerships. We discuss how power imbalances can emerge in relationships, the difference between secure and insecure functioning, and how couples can cultivate true mutuality.
“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer
(00:00) Why secure functioning matters in relationships
(03:26) What defines secure vs. insecure relationships?
(06:22) How power struggles emerge in insecure relationships
(09:37) Three key factors that shape relationship dynamics
(13:20) The role of trust, safety, and confidence in a secure partnership
(16:29) Why repair is the key to lasting security in relationships
(19:12) How resentment builds over time
(22:03) How unresolved relationship struggles affect personal growth
(26:41) Unspoken power dynamics: How to recognize and address them
(30:55) The difference between equity and equality in partnerships
(33:11) Why agreements are essential for long-term success
(36:04) Building a secure relationship with yourself as a foundation for partnership
(38:23) Final thoughts: The power of conscious relationship modeling
Reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!
Resources Mentioned:
Get in Touch:
- The Art Of We Website
- The Art of We Instagram
- Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.