

Shon Faye on love and dating as a trans woman
Feb 14, 2025
Shon Faye, author of "Love in Exile" and agony aunt for Vogue US, shares her transformative views on love and dating as a trans woman. She reflects on the complexities of intimacy and the impact of societal misconceptions. Shon discusses her memoir's unique focus on love experiences, steering away from typical trans narratives. She delves into how childhood shaped her understanding of relationships and the nuanced challenges of navigating romance in a world marked by prejudice. Ultimately, she brings forth the universal themes of connection and loss.
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Early concepts of love
- Shon Faye's early ideas of love were shaped by dysfunctional parents and Disney princesses.
- As a dysphoric teenager, she struggled with her identity and sexuality, delaying healthy development.
Dating apps in 20s
- Shon Faye discusses her experiences with dating apps in her 20s, highlighting their early adoption by queer people.
- She notes the lack of accountability and the specific prejudices trans women face on these platforms.
Sexual encounter and validation
- After transitioning, Shon Faye had a sexual encounter with a man who objectified her.
- This experience led her to chase validation through sexual desirability, a pattern she now recognizes as unhealthy.