The Baggage Reclaim Sessions Ep. 234: *Sometimes* We're Controlling in Our Relationships
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Sep 10, 2021 Explore how childhood chaos can lead to controlling behaviors in relationships and the unexpected resentment that follows. Discover the pitfalls of choosing dominant or overly passive partners and how that affects emotional balance. Natalie shares insights on the rescuer role and the physical and emotional toll of holding tight to control. Learn to identify signs of controlling habits and the importance of self-compassion in unlearning these patterns. It’s a deep dive into understanding the baggage that influences our connections.
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Control Hides As Everyday Habits
- Trying to control the uncontrollable often shows up as people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, overgiving and over-responsibility.
- These habits aim to manage fear and create a false sense of safety but reduce true command of self.
Choosing Authority To Avoid Responsibility
- Natalie describes choosing authoritative partners to feel directed and safe, then resenting their control when it feels excessive.
- She links this to seeking parental dynamics and ceding responsibility to avoid feeling in charge.
Picking Passivity Then Resenting It
- Natalie explains picking passive partners to limit power struggles, then resenting them for not stepping up.
- She notes this choice often masks a desire to avoid intimacy and friction.