Clinical psychologist and kids’ friendship expert, Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, discusses kids' evolving friendships, handling mean behavior, supporting shy children, and navigating friendship dynamics during COVID. She emphasizes the importance of empathy, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence in helping children build positive relationships.
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Quick takeaways
Children's friendships evolve through stages: from loving whoever is around to embracing multiple friends.
Parents can nurture friendships by encouraging empathy, modeling positive behaviors, and facilitating one-on-one play dates.
In-person interactions are crucial for genuine connections; promoting positive social behaviors and conflict resolution aids in healthy friendships.
Deep dives
Children's Friendship Development Stages
Children's friendships evolve through distinct stages - loving whoever is around at the toddler stage, progressing to a 'I want it my way' phase where they struggle with others' perspectives, transitioning into a fair-weather cooperation phase characterized by strict reciprocity rules, and finally reaching more mature friendships where differences are accepted and multiple friends are embraced.
Supporting Children's Friendships as Parents
Parents can nurture children's friendships by encouraging perspective-taking, discussing feelings to enhance empathy, modeling the value of friendships through personal actions, and facilitating one-on-one play dates to deepen relationships. This support helps children navigate social interactions and develop meaningful connections.
Social Media's Role in Friendship Formation
Social media complements real-life friendships for most children, but face-to-face interactions remain crucial. Encouraging in-person interactions through activities fosters genuine connections. Emphasizing positive social behaviors like offering compliments and engaging in shared activities helps children build and maintain friendships.
Parenting Strategies for Addressing Friendship Challenges
Parents can facilitate discussions about conflict resolution, teach forgiveness, and help children navigate difficult social situations. Employing soft criticisms that focus on understanding and solutions, guiding children to make kind choices, and promoting empathy and social skills aid in resolving conflicts and supporting healthy friendships.
Helping Shy Children Navigate Friendship Building
When supporting shy children in making friends, focus on their social strengths, engage them in activities aligned with their interests, and teach specific social skills like friendly greetings. Encouraging them to match the emotional tone of social groups and providing opportunities for gradual social engagement can help shy children navigate friendship formation successfully.
It isn’t always easy to navigate the complicated social dynamics of elementary, middle or high school. Clinical psychologist and kids’ friendship expert Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, talks about how kids make and keep friends; how their understanding of friendship changes as they grow; why most kids are mean sometimes; and how to help kids navigate tough situations including arguments and friendship breakups.