Jon de la Motte, a former software engineer at Stripe, shares his transformative journey from dream job to self-discovery. He reflects on the struggles of navigating a new role and the emotional impact of performance feedback. Jon candidly discusses the fragility of marital stability against a backdrop of professional pressures. He emphasizes the importance of personal growth after leaving a tech giant, encouraging listeners to explore their own emotional awareness and the balance between personal happiness and success.
John de la Motte's journey at Stripe illustrates the importance of balancing professional ambitions with personal growth and self-discovery.
Facing challenges and a disappointing performance review ultimately led John to confront his emotional health and redefine his self-identity.
Deep dives
A Journey to Stripe
John Delamotte, a software engineer, shares his experiences related to his career transition to Stripe, depicting the initial excitement he felt about the company's innovative approach to financial infrastructure. He was motivated not just by the company's engineering excellence, but also by personal ties to entrepreneurship, stemming from his father's influence. In his journey, John faced challenges during the interview process, initially underperforming due to a focus on quality over problem-solving. After adjusting his approach and successfully landing a position at Stripe, John took a leap of faith by joining a new JS Infra team, highlighting his willingness to embrace risk in his professional life.
Struggles at Work
Upon joining the new team at Stripe, John encountered numerous difficulties in proving his value within a larger organization. Frequent reminders from his manager to articulate the business value of his work created tension for him, coupled with the struggle to develop required written communication skills in a structured environment. A significant breakthrough occurred when he led an impactful project to migrate a complex JavaScript codebase to a more efficient bundler, demonstrating his technical capacity. However, the success was overshadowed by disappointment in his performance review, revealing the gap between his self-perception and others' expectations.
Emotional Turmoil and Growth
After receiving a disappointing performance review, John experienced an emotional breakdown that led him to introspect deeply about his reactions to failure and his past. The performance rating, perceived as a reflection of his worth, invoked intense feelings of sadness that forced him to confront issues related to his self-identity and relationships. This reflection paralleled challenges in his personal life, especially in his marriage, where he learned about the importance of vulnerability and support in relationships. John's journey highlighted the necessity of addressing his emotional health and recognizing childhood influences that shaped his perceptions and responses.
Reassessment and Moving Forward
Amid a series of personal challenges, including his wife's anxiety and struggles with his own mental health, John confronted his father's legacy and its impact on his life. He realized that his identity was closely tied to work and its value as defined by his upbringing, leading him to question whether he was replicating patterns of behavior learned during childhood. After a difficult conversation with his father that resulted in emotional estrangement, John made the difficult decision to leave Stripe, seeking to prioritize his well-being and self-discovery. This journey underscored the importance of personal growth and the pursuit of meaning beyond professional success, emphasizing that exploration of one's feelings and experiences is essential for recovery and fulfillment.
What if leaving your dream job was the way to discover your true self?
Jon de la Motte failed his first Stripe interview, but he didn't give up. It was his dream job, a company that connected with his father's work in finance with his software ambitions.
At Stripe, Jon faced challenges. He joined a risky JavaScript infrastructure team and struggled to find his footing. Eventually he found his way, built a great team and then it all started to fall apart again.
Discover how Jon's journey reshaped his life and what it means to balance personal and professional priorities.