Ask Amy - Can I Really Love My Second Child As Much As The First?

It's a common fear for mothers expecting their second child: How can I possibly love this new baby as much as I loved my first? Here's how a listener in our Facebook group put it:

I have a two-year-old and I'm pregnant with my second. I'm having extreme feelings of guilt on how this new baby will disrupt my two-year-old's life. And I'm really worried about how I could possibly love them both equally. From what I have heard feeling this way is normal, but I can't help but feel a little sense of dread when I think about adding a second kid to our family.

Will it lower my standards of parenting?

Will I lose my patience more easily?

Will I love one more than the other?

Will this second baby ruin my relationship with my son?

In this Question of the Week episode, Amy answers these questions: it won't lower your parenting standards, but it will almost certainly change them. And rather than ruining your son's bond with his primary caregiver, it will create an entirely new and separate bond, one that is likely to be among the most long-lasting of his life. There's much to celebrate and look forward to, and even if you can't see it yet, the new baby will bring untold delight to your family's lives. Even your toddler's. Trust us.

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