069 Flourishing As A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) During Times of Stress Alane Freund, MS, MA, LMFT

TITLE

Flourishing As A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) During Times of Stress

GUEST 

Alane Freund, MS, MA, LMFT

EPISODE OVERVIEW 

During times of stress, the Highly Sensitive Person can fare better than the other 80% when we cultivate environments that help us flourish, as well as being mindful about what we consume. Overstimulation can look like anxiety, and HSPs can be misdiagnosed with anxiety & depression. Alane talks about optimal levels of stimulation, and she believes that prevention for anxiety is the key. She shares what she does to prevent anxiety.  Alane also provides more than 15 resources for HSPs.

HIGHLIGHTS

• For teens and men, we can refer to being an HSP as having a finely tuned nervous system or having a highly reactive brain
• There are 1.6 Billion Highly Sensitive People
• Anxiety comes from overstimulation
• The #1 treatment for anxiety is prevention
• We need to learn what brings on anxiety
• We want to find our optimal level of arousal
• Research studies show that Rhesus monkeys who had higher reactive brains did better when assigned to a Rhesus monkey who was a skilled mother.  These monkeys became leaders.

• • The reactive baby monkeys who were assigned to less skilled mothers had higher incidences of sickness and injury
• Highly Sensitive Children who encounter stressors (marital conflict, shame, etc.) have higher incidences of illness and injury
• For those 80% of children who don’t have the trait, andare exposed to stress, most had a flat line meaning they were almost not impacted by stressors at all
• When a Highly Sensitive Child (HSC) has a parent or caregiver who assists the child in managing stressors, those HSCs have better outcomes and are much less likely to have problems compared to children without the trait exposed to the same stressors
• Those HSCs that have many stressors (or high stress) in their environments are more likely to experience illness or injuries, including adult anxiety or depression.
• However, HSPs and HSCs are more responsive to intervention and treatment than the 80% who are not sensitive
• Many HSCs tend to be more articulate, have a keen sense of humor, they get along well with adults (mini-adults)
• • They can also be late bloomers, and slow developers due to DOES
• DOES—4 Core Characteristics Dr. Elaine Aron Identified
• • D—depth of processing
  • O—Overarousal or Overstimulation
  • E—Emotional Responsiveness/Empathy
  • S—Sensitive to Subtle Stimuli
• It’s not uncommon for HSPs to be diagnosed with depression & anxiety.  To the outside observer, what is depth of processing and being thoughtful or becoming overaroused may be misinterpreted as depression and/or anxiety
• Children need an adult who gets them and understands them (not a parent)
• Every little bit of good stuff we got in childhood, we use moving forward
• During challenging times, HSPs fare better. We process and we know what’s needed
• We need to help young girls feel better about themselves
• We provide emotional leadership in our families and communities.  Our species needs this to thrive
• We need to find ways to discharge what we are processing
• • Journaling can be very helpful
  • Extroverts may choose to process verbally
• Overstimulation looks like anxiety, which can become a habit.  On the continuum is stress on one end and panic attacks on the other end
• What can we do to prevent the climb up the scale
• Prevention for anxiety is the key
• Who knows what it is for you—you know the truth; you see the truth
• Suggestions:
• • Meditate 2x/day

• • • Meditation is not optional for HSPs
    • We need to revisit spirituality
  • Exercise (until you sweat) daily
  • Take a sip of water every 15-20 minutes
  • Close your eyes to reduce overstimulation and to reset (80% of stimulation comes in visually)
• Boredom is understimulation—you need to do something to alleviate the boredom
• It’s important to find the optimal level of stimulation (not over or under stimulation)—good luck with this one! Alane says to call her if you need help figuring this out.
• If you think you’re an HSP and take the adult version of the test, but don’t score in the range, take the child’s version of the test and think back to when you were a child and what you remember hearing about yourself
• When it’s hard; it’s hard--lean into the hard and let it be until you can remember to do self-care
• We need to read, especially fiction with a  good plot as another way to rest our minds
• Alane suggests audiobooks because they can be soothing without getting overstimulated.  A few of her suggestions are listed under resources
• HSPs do best when they participate in good therapy or coaching
• Our planet is healing with this pandemic
• Opposite Reframe: The world is upside down right now, so “What is right side up?”
• The importance of breath
• • Bellows breath
  • Pranyama Breathing/Alternate nostril breathing
• Practice doing a hard style plank where you tense your core for 5-10 seconds, which can interrupt anxiety (and you can do this sitting in your chair or standing as well)
• Practice a Loving Kindness Meditation
• • When we pray or meditate for others it eases our anxiety
• HSPs can find it difficult to pray for or focus on ourselves, so start with loving kindness for others. Our empathy makes this easier.
• Codependency is NOT the same as empathy
• We can have loving detachment and care for others
• Your caring for others does not have to be at the risk or detriment of caring for yourself
• It’s important that we take care of ourselves—we are the vessel
• We are the emotional leaders
• We need to protect the sensitive children
• • We can stop others from shaming them for having feelings; they are the ones who will change the world

GUEST BIO

Alane Freund, MS, MA, LMFT, (Lic. #36077) has helped adults, youth, and families focus on solutions through psychotherapy and consultation over three decades in the mental health field. An International Consultant on High Sensitivity (ICHS) working closely with Dr. Elaine Aron, Ms. Freund has developed and implemented programs for highly sensitive people, children, families, and clinicians who serve them. She also holds Masters’ degrees in clinical psychology and school counseling. Ms. Freund specializes in family therapy and education with and about highly sensitive people and LGBTQ+ families. A skilled facilitator and therapist, an HSP herself, and the parent of a highly sensitive young adult, she teaches workshops, offers consultation, has a twice monthly Are You Highly Sensitive LIVE Q&A webinar, and leads groups and retreats, including the HSPs & Horses™ retreats at Heart and Mind Equine in Northern California with Elaine Aron, PhD (CEs offered). Ms. Freund is an instructor at retreat centers, Kripalu in Massachusetts and 1440 Multiversity in California, as well as teaching at the California Institute for Psychotherapy and the California Institute of Integral Studies in California. She can be reached for consultation or referrals through her website, alanefreund.com.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, truthteller, and black sheep.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation and compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other HSPs know that they aren’t alone, and that being an HSP has amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, and creating a lifestyle that honors us 

LINKS

Alane’s Links

This is a live (on Zoom) panel I led with some other members of the International Consultants on High Sensitivity (Elaine Aron's hand-selected and trained consultants.) There are even more videos, so you can subscribe to Alane Freund LMFT on You Tube to see more.

Are You Highly Sensitive LIVE…a twice a month live webinar for Q&A with highly sensitive people and parents raising highly sensitive children. For every webinar, members get to ask questions (ahead of time or live), and I do my best to answer them! We are building a really lovely community at areyouhighlysensitive.com. Listeners of the podcast will get 50% off their first month if you type in the discount code: OFFERUS

Website for therapy, speaking, consultation: alanefreund.com

Facebook

Alane Freund

Alane Freund LMFT

Understanding the Highly Sensitive Child and Teen

Heart and Mind Equine

I am an admin of Elaine Aron and High Sensitivity Facebook group which I invite you all to join. I recommend you say “referred by Alane Freund in the questions to join so you are accepted more readily.

Instagram @alanefreundlmft

Bellows breath-- https://chopra.com/articles/how-and-why-to-perform-bhastrika-breath

10 minute Yoga with Adrienne-- https://www.google.com/search?q=10+minute+yoga+with+adrienne&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS843US843&oq=10+minute+yoga+with+adrienne&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.6818j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Sun Salutation Yoga with Adrienne--https://www.google.com/search?q=yoga+with+adrienne+sun+salutation&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS843US843&oq=yoga+with+adrienne+sun+salutation&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l4.4621j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Pranyama Breathing-- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=395ZloN4Rr8

Hard Style Plank Tense Core-- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jTOit8PkVY

Loving Kindness Meditation-- https://self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3-2/

Movie—Sensitive: The Untold Story

Dr. Elaine Aron’s website--https://hsperson.com/

Pema Chodrin-- https://pemachodronfoundation.org/product-category/products/

Linda Graham—Bouncing Back-- https://lindagraham-mft.net/

Eve Decker Blog—Loving Kindness https://evedecker.com/lovingkindness/

Ted Zeff—Strong Sensitive Boy http://drtedzeff.com/

Chief Inspector Gamache Louise Penny Series-- https://www.gamacheseries.com/about/

Harry Potter series-- https://www.wizardingworld.com/discover/books

Outlander—series http://www.dianagabaldon.com/books/outlander-series/

 

Patricia’s Links

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

To write a review in itunes: 

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Closed/Private Facebook group for Therapists and Healers--https://www.facebook.com/groups/208565440423641/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Meetup-- https://www.meetup.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-Meetup/

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com