Episode 335: How To Have Good Sex

17 snips

Oct 11, 2024

Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University, explores the ingredients for good sex, drawing parallels between intimacy and cooking. She shares tips on making sex fun and enhancing connection, highlighting the importance of communication and mindfulness. Listeners discover how to better articulate desires and establish boundaries, while also embracing personal narratives in sexual education. With practical insights, Hargons encourages everyone to cultivate more pleasure and connectivity in their intimate lives.

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ANECDOTE

Hargons' Early Sex Ed

Dr. Candice Hargons' early sex ed was a mix of encyclopedia entries, porn, the Bible, and magazines.
These sources offered conflicting and sometimes inaccurate information about sex.

ANECDOTE

Lehmiller's Early Sex Ed

Justin Lehmiller's early sex ed involved encyclopedias and a hidden stash of Playboy magazines.
He found the articles in the magazines more interesting than the visuals.

ADVICE

Sex as Cooking

Think of sex like cooking; it has ingredients, seasonings, and recipes.
Experiment with different "ingredients" to create a satisfying "meal".

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If you had to define “good sex” in just three words, what would they be? In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the key things that come to mind when people are asked this question. There are 20 common responses to this, which constitute the main ingredients of the kind of sex we all want to be having. We’re going to dive into some of those ingredients and talk about tips for how to incorporate them into your sex life so that you can experience more pleasure, connectedness, and fun in the bedroom.

My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled Good Sex will be published in February 2025.

Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

Why is it useful to think about sex as being akin to cooking?
What are some of the key ingredients, seasonings, and spices that make for good sex?
How can we make sex fun again?
How can we experience more connectedness to ourselves during sex?
How can we get better at communicating about sex?

You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.