Jaz Ampaw-Farr: The leadership coach on how to stop being a people pleaser, why you must be more selfish and outwit your toxic boss!

What was your response the last time you received an unexpected compliment?


Did you instantly downplay it? Deflect it entirely? Or maybe you even quickly criticised yourself or your achievement is a desperate self-deprecating act that not only made you look bad, but likely made the compliment-payer feel a bit stupid too.

What about when someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do. How do you respond? The people-pleasers amongst us will instantly say yes, no matter how undesirable or inconvenient the request. Why? Because the fear of letting someone, even a stranger, down is simply too much to bear, even if it means hours, days or weeks of anxiety over the impending event.

Being a people-pleaser. Public acts of self-deprecation. Never being selfish with your time, even when you really need just a minute to yourself.

Do these scenarios sound familiar? Don’t worry. You’re in good company.

These were the exact responses award-winning motivational speaker Jaz Ampaw-Farr used to give to every nice comment or unwanted request that came her way.

Fortunately for her, and now for you as she reveals her secrets to Unfiltered editor-in-chief Joe Warner, Jaz learnt a better way to live her life.

She found a way to stop trying to please all of the people all of time because of the enormous cost on her time and happiness. She learnt how never to put herself down in front of friends, family and strangers in an irrational attempt to make herself seem less arrogant and cocky, and make the people around her like her more.

And, crucially, she discovered how to always make time for herself so she could “refill her cup”, rather than fighting a never-ending and unwindable battle to prioritise the care of everyone around her to the hugely detrimental affect on her health and wellbeing.

In a fascinating, impactful and wide-ranging conversation with the three-time Speaker of the Year Winner, Jaz details how you can set boundaries and start to prioritise your own needs over chasing the constant approval of others, and the transformative effect this will have on your health and happiness.

After all, if you retrain your brain to see self-care not as selfish but an essential and non-negotiable upgrade it will ultimately make you better at doing the one thing you want above all else: to take better care of the people you love.

Jaz also discusses the art of compliments - both receiving and giving - and how getting better at both will change your life, as well as how you can inspire those around you

And no conversation with Jaz about relationships, leadership, motivation and authenticity would be complete without getting her expertise on how to deal with bad bosses.

She details her game-changing advice on how to work with toxic managers, especially those quick to criticise and eager to take all the credit, to make your workplace atmosphere not just bearable but enjoyable, and she reveals the warning signs when you know it’s time to walk away for good.

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