The following is an encore presentation from 2023.
Shaunti Feldhahn is a relationship expert and the author of several very helpful books about marriage, including Thriving in Love and Money.
There’s a saying about marriage: “When money troubles come in the door, love goes out the window.” But Shaunti has 3 steps for couples to keep that from happening.
3 STEPS TO ERASE TO AVOID FINANCIAL TENSION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
1. ENSURE MARGIN: Make sure you have a cushion — some margin in your budget and finances.
The Feldhahns conducted a three-year study involving a couple-thousand people. They found that no matter the income level, it wasn’t the topline income number that mattered. The key to avoiding tension was to spend less than they took in. This was true across all demographics. You’ve got to have a cushion to be able to make that car repair or whatever life throws your way. It’s great stewardship and helps keep you out of debt and bondage. But as it turns out, it’s not just protective of your finances, but of your relationship as well.
2. COMMUNICATE: You have to be able to talk to your spouse about money. It can't just be a one-person thing. It must be BOTH of you, and you have to be able to openly and honestly communicate about money.
Communication really is the secret weapon. Most couples have trouble communicating about money. It’s a very common problem. But the Feldhahns found in their research that communication even trumps having a financial cushion or having the perfect budget. If you can talk about money, even if the technical stuff isn't perfect, you are far more likely to avoid tension and resentment. So start opening those lines of communication! It’s vital!
3. BUILD AWARENESS: You have to understand what's going on underneath the surface and how you and how your spouse respond to money. Shaunti explains that if there is tension around money in your marriage, it’s not really about the money. It’s about how money makes you feel, and how it makes your spouse feel. It’s about all of the insecurities and worries and beliefs about how money should work that are running under the surface. And we have two different sets of those.
On today’s program, Rob also answers listener questions:
- What are a couple of good options for online banking?
- How do you determine whether you should roll over an IRA?
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
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Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every workday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources.
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