#408 Getting Neurospicy: ADHD and Sex (and Relationships) - with Leann Borneman
Nov 19, 2024
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Leann Borneman, a sexologist and certified sex therapist specializing in ADHD and sexuality, shares her insights as someone with ADHD. The discussion covers how ADHD influences sex and relationships, revealing common struggles and unique strengths. Leann emphasizes creating supportive environments for intimacy, the significance of clitoral stimulation, and how kink can provide structure for those with ADHD. They also touch upon the lack of research in this area and the importance of tailoring sexual encounters to individual needs.
ADHD significantly influences relationships and sexual intimacy, often leading to challenges like distractibility and emotional regulation difficulties.
Sensory experiences are crucial for individuals with ADHD, with personal preferences impacting their enjoyment of intimate moments and connection.
Environmental adaptation and self-understanding empower individuals with ADHD, allowing them to enhance intimacy through supportive settings and communication.
Deep dives
Understanding ADHD in Relationships
ADHD can significantly impact how individuals engage in relationships and sexual intimacy. Those with ADHD often face challenges such as distractibility, emotional regulation difficulties, and sensory processing issues that can complicate intimacy and connection. Many individuals with ADHD experience higher levels of anxiety and hyper-fixation on their insecurities, which may lead to disconnect during intimate moments. Addressing these challenges involves recognizing the unique manifestations of ADHD and fostering environments conducive to intimate connections.
The Role of Sensory Experiences
Sensory experiences play a crucial role in the sexual experiences of those with ADHD. Individuals may find that their sensory preferences, whether seeking stimulation or needing a more subdued ambiance, impact their enjoyment and participation in intimate moments. For instance, some may thrive in environments with music to combat silence, while others may require calming settings to diminish overstimulation. Understanding and accommodating these sensory needs can greatly enhance intimacy and connection for partners.
ADHD Diagnosis Trends
The diagnosis of ADHD has evolved over the years, with increasing recognition of how symptoms can manifest differently in adults, particularly women. Historically, ADHD was often underdiagnosed in females due to differences in presentation, such as inattentiveness rather than hyperactivity. Current research indicates that hormonal changes and stressors in adulthood can also affect the expression of ADHD symptoms, leading to late diagnoses. As awareness increases, more adults seek evaluation, shedding light on the varied expressions of ADHD and promoting acceptance.
Kink, BDSM, and ADHD
There is an emerging interest in the intersection of ADHD and sexual practices like kink and BDSM. The structured nature of these practices may offer supportive environments for individuals with ADHD, allowing them to engage with their sexuality in a way that accommodates their unique needs. For many, these activities create an atmosphere of clear communication and sensory awareness, which can help diminish distractions and enhance pleasure. This growing field of inquiry aims to harness the positive aspects of ADHD in sexual expression and relationship dynamics.
Empowerment through Self-Understanding
Empowerment for those with ADHD in their sexual lives comes from self-understanding and environmental adaptation. By identifying how ADHD specifically manifests in their experiences and preferences, individuals can develop strategies to enhance intimacy and connection. This may involve creating a supportive environment free from distractions, establishing communication with partners about needs, and choosing activities that foster engagement. Open dialogue about expectations and needs can transform how individuals with ADHD experience sexuality and relationships.
What is ADHD, and how would someone know if they have it? How does ADHD show up in sex and relationships? What are the common struggles, challenges, and superpowers? What about kink and ADHD? Why is setting up an ideal environment so important for sexual and relational success? How can people with ADHD become more sexually empowered? And why is there very little research on ADHD and sex?
About our guest: Leann Borneman is a sexologist and certified sex therapist who specializes in the intersection of ADHD and sexuality. As an individual with ADHD, Leann brings a personal understanding to the challenges that can arise in intimate settings. Her approach emphasizes the importance of reshaping our environments rather than trying to change ourselves. Leann is dedicated to creating successful frameworks for our environments, relationships, and sexual experiences. To learn more go to http://bornemancoaching.com