391. Perfect Is Boring (And It Tastes Like Kale) with Jess Johnston
Jan 22, 2025
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Jess Johnston, author of "Perfect Is Boring (and It Tastes Like Kale)," shares her journey from an off-grid childhood to becoming a voice for authenticity in friendships. She and Michael discuss the pitfalls of perfectionism and the courage needed to embrace vulnerability. They explore the differences between belonging and fitting in, why awkward moments can strengthen bonds, and the importance of intentionality in adult friendships. Jess offers relatable stories and practical advice, emphasizing that embracing imperfection leads to deeper connections.
Embracing imperfections and awkward moments can foster deeper connections, encouraging authenticity and vulnerability in friendships.
Building meaningful adult friendships requires intentional effort, including prioritizing time and consistency in reaching out to others.
Understanding the difference between belonging and fitting in is crucial for fostering genuine relationships and personal acceptance.
Deep dives
Affordable Luxury in Fashion
Quince offers a variety of high-quality clothing and accessories at affordable prices, making luxury more attainable. They provide items such as 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at $50, washable silk tops, organic cotton sweaters, and fine jewelry. This approach allows cost-conscious consumers to indulge in quality without overspending. This combination of luxury and affordability appeals to those who love stylish fashion without breaking the bank.
Embracing Awkwardness for Connection
Feeling awkward is often a natural part of forming new friendships, and acknowledging this discomfort can lead to deeper connections. Embracing the awkward moments can create opportunities for genuine interaction and understanding among peers. The act of putting oneself out there, despite the fear of rejection or discomfort, is portrayed as being worthwhile for the rewards of friendship and connection. Recognizing that everyone shares similar fears can alleviate the pressure to be perfect in relationships.
Intentionality in Friendships
Building close friendships requires intentional effort, particularly in adult life where connections can be more elusive. Making time for friends, even when it feels inconvenient, is essential for cultivating healthy and supportive relationships. Regularly reaching out and fostering connections can lead to meaningful interactions and a sense of belonging. By prioritizing friendship and engaging with others, individuals can create a strong support network that enriches their lives.
The Value of Authenticity
Authenticity plays a crucial role in forming genuine connections and fostering belonging. Sharing one's true self, including flaws and vulnerabilities, promotes a sense of acceptance and trust among friends. Avoiding performance in social situations can lead to more meaningful interactions where individuals feel free to express themselves. Cultivating a comfortable atmosphere where honesty and imperfection are welcomed encourages deeper and more authentic relationships.
Navigating Friendship Growth
Developing friendships takes time and requires a commitment to invest in relationships actively. It typically requires substantial hours of quality interaction to transition acquaintances into close friends. The journey of nurturing friendships involves ups and downs but ultimately leads to invaluable emotional support. Individuals are encouraged to approach friendship-building as a rewarding adventure rather than a checklist to complete, highlighting the importance of patience and perseverance in forming lasting bonds.
Together, they explore the ups and downs of adult friendships, including letting down your guard to create real bonds. Jess’s relatable stories and practical tips make it easy to see how consistency, courage, and even a little awkwardness can lead to meaningful relationships.
If you’ve ever felt like perfection gets in the way of connection, this conversation is perfect for you.
Listen and Learn:
Jess’ off-grid childhood that sparked her love for writing and how those experiences shaped her perspective on connection
The tension between performance and authenticity in your friendships and the courage to be rea
What are the profound differences between belonging and fitting in?
What does it really mean to be authentic?
Awkward moments forge deeper connections—why embracing imperfection matters in your relationships and life
The surprising power of intentionality and courage in building your adult friendships
Why the fear of rejection is key to building meaningful friendships
Jess Johnston lives in Southern California with her husband and four kids, who are the loves of her life. She is an Enneagram Seven and is enthusiastic about everything—but especially people, travel, and sauces. Jess’s writing makes you feel like you’re sitting cross-legged on her couch in your cozy pants while sharing hearts and drinking coffee. She is the co-author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) and has been a top contributor to publications such as HuffPost, Scary Mommy, and Motherly.