Calmversations s07e90 | To Thine Own Self Be True: A Detrans Story with Nicolas Flowers
Jul 30, 2025
Nicolas Flowers, an artist, illustrator, and author known for his work on 'Froggy Girl', shares his insightful journey of navigating conflicting identities. He recounts his upbringing in a mixed-race family in Japan and the challenges of self-acceptance in America. Flowers discusses the transformative power of art and sports in his life, his experiences within the LGBTQIA+ community, and the complexities of medical transition. He emphasizes the importance of authenticity, emotional growth, and the role of family dynamics in shaping one's identity.
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Childhood Outsider in Japan
- Nicolas Flowers felt singled out as an effeminate boy growing up in a Japanese monoculture.
- He faced name-calling like "Okama" and familial ridicule, fueling deep internalized pain and isolation.
Trans Identity as Pain Escape
- Trans identity initially felt like the answer to being perceived as 'wrong' due to internal pain.
- Online trans content offered an addictive escape and a feeling of acceptance for tortured youth.
Art as Emotional Sanctuary
- Nicolas found refuge and joy in art throughout high school despite mixed teacher feedback.
- Art provided escape from pain and a way to express himself visually and emotionally.
