In this book, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental death of her beloved partner—Devine writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, 'happy' life, replacing it with a healthier middle path that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. The book provides practical tips and advice on how to handle the situations that arise from grief and challenges the unhelpful rhetoric often encountered by grieving individuals.
In this book, Dr. Gabor Maté presents a comprehensive and compassionate look at addiction. He argues that addiction is not a moral failure or a genetic disease but rather a result of human development gone awry, often due to childhood trauma. The book includes first-person accounts, case studies, and scientific research to illustrate how addictive behaviors are attempts to self-soothe deep-seated fears and discomforts.
In this book, Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté argue that children's increasing attachment to peers rather than parents is a significant issue that undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. The authors provide practical advice on how to 'reattach' to children, emphasizing the need for parents to be the primary source of enrichment, security, and warmth. They suggest strategies such as 'collecting' children through spontaneous and desirable interactions, maintaining family-oriented activities, and ensuring unconditional acceptance to prevent peer orientation and its negative consequences.
In this book, Dr. Gabor Maté argues that Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD) is not a genetic 'illness' but a response to environmental stress. He explains that the brain circuits responsible for emotional self-regulation and attention control fail to develop in infancy due to life experiences. The book provides insights for parents to understand their ADD children and for adults with ADD to gain insights into their emotions and behaviors. It presents a program to promote neurological development in both children and adults, emphasizing the role of social and emotional environments in both the cause and cure of the condition.
In this book, Gabor Maté and his son Daniel Maté challenge the prevailing understanding of 'normal' health, arguing that Western medicine often neglects the impact of trauma, stress, and modern-day living on our bodies and minds. They connect the dots between individual health issues and the broader societal problems, offering a compassionate guide for health and healing. The book is based on over four decades of clinical experience and is supported by extensive scientific research, patient stories, and personal disclosures.
Did anyone teach you that understanding your grief is the key to being (or becoming) a healthy human being? Probably not.
In this expansive episode, Megan speaks with world-renowned author and physician Gabor Maté about the role of trauma and grief in our personal lives and in society at large. Dr. Gabor Maté on grief, this week on It’s OK that You’re Not OK, the podcast.
In this episode we cover:
- What is “personal agency” and why does losing personal agency create disease?
- Why calling grief a disorder has social, relational and political ramifications
- How do elephants grieve? Is it really so different from humans?
- Women as the emotional shock absorbers for the rest of the world
- Why we often ignore other peoples’ pain to make ourselves comfortable
- Does taking pain seriously make you more hopeful?
- Dr. Gabor Maté’s conversation with Prince Harry (!)
Follow our show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief and @itsokpod on TikTok. Visit refugeingrief.com for resources & courses
About the guest:
Dr. Gabor Maté is a renowned speaker and author, with expertise in trauma, stress, addiction, and child development. He’s the NYT best-selling author of The Myth of Normal, the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, and many other books. Find him at drgabormate.com
About Megan:
Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her animations and explainers have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world. Find her @refugeingrief
Additional resources:
Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed
Books and research mentioned in this episode
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It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine 
