Restoring Relationships to the Natural Model: You're Not Meant to Bicker - Stacey and Paul Martino - FHR #313

Why Dave Decided to talk to Stacey and Paul Martino:

Yes it's that time of the year again, a day where most people simply eat chocolates and pretending to be in love. BUT YOU'RE NOT "MOST PEOPLE" ARE YOU?!? NO. This is a culture of FunnelHackers and trailblazers and today we're restoring love back to what it was meant to be, everlasting and simply fun. Stacey and Paul Martino are here to teach you just how we've been conditioned to fail in relationships. Listen in and take note on how both Masculine and Feminine Power are essential to your relationships, even the ones outside your love life.

Tips and Tricks for You and Your Business:

(2:30) Changing Relationships Back to the Natural Model

(5:04) You need to understand the triggers of a man vs a woman

(9:32) Men work off of direct communication, women work off of applied communication

(11:14) How Communication Issues Are Resolved Through Understanding the Human Wiring

(12:52) Why Do Relationships Now Naturally Fade? They Don't Work With the Natural Model

(14:50) Do You Know the 8-Step System Stacey and Paul Trademarked?

(15:42) One of these 8 Steps is SYNERGY AKA Rock Star Alignment

(16:28) Does Your Intention Match Your Attention?

(18:38) Why Competition For Attention Does Not Belong in Natural Relationships

(22:56) We All Need to Understand "Masculine Presence" In Work and Personal Relationships

(26:21) Women's Power Is Not Found In Becoming More Masculine

(32:06) Sydney and Paul LOVE Using Russell's Perfect Webinar

Quotable Moments:

(3:00) "We've all been conditioned to believe that passion should fade and that relationships should turn down and become dull and unfulfilling. Which is so not true and is really just a direct result of what we've never known."

(8:48) "We are unknowingly causing 'curfuffles' and triggering each other just because we don't understand and appreciate how the opposite is wired."

(15:10) "Show up differently to shift yourself so your partner experiences a shift to without having to to any 'couples work' because that couples work doesn't work."

(19:38) "We are SO not counselors, we are not; but we are solution providers. There seems to be no relationship problem we cannot solve."

Other Tidbits:

Relationships, especially marriage, are a skill that most people haven't quite mastered yet.

Do you understand and know the triggers of your lover?

You must live from your priorities.

Important Episode Links:

RelationshipBreakthroughSecrets.com RelationshipDevelopment.org FunnelHackingLive.com FunnelHackerRadio.com FunnelHackerRadio.com/freetrial FunnelHackerRadio.com/dreamcar

---Transcript---

Speaker 1: 00:00 Welcome to funnel hacker radio podcast, where we go behind the scenes and uncover the tactics and strategies top entrepreneurs are using to make more sales, dominate their markets, and how you can get those same results. Here's your host, Dave Woodward.

Speaker 2: 00:17 Everyone. Welcome back to funnel hacker radio. I am so excited today if we do this thing right, you're actually getting this on Valentine's Day. Hopefully that sowed. This is set up and if you do, I want to make sure, no matter when you get this, you have the opportunity of meetings and my dear friend Stacy Palmer. Tito, welcome to the show. This is so much on, but don't you guys don't know who they are. These two magical couple has been had this crazy opportunity of, and I think it's so. First of all, you have to understand these are. This is a couple who's got a such a huge strong passion and a love for helping serve other couples and I think especially on Valentine's Day, I'm hoping this comes across in the way that I hope that it does. They've had a company called relationship development data work, but the coolest part for me is they've literally saved thousands of marriages around the world.

Speaker 2: 01:07 Now that's real cool, but I'm sure there's other people who've worked at relationships space. You can say that, but the coolest part for me is they do this by working only with one spouse and that is like the most amazing thing in the world to. I'm like you always hear about this whole idea of couples counseling stuff and they're going to debunk the whole myth why that doesn't work, but most importantly, help you guys understand the importance and the value that one person and how one person literally can change everything. So aside from the fact there are two Comma Club award winners as part of our inner circle, part of just dear friends. By the time you're hearing this, we will have just completed our Russell speaking on [inaudible] station. Will have come across the stage. We will spend our time out in the Bahamas together. And with all that said, I just want to welcome you and just say, I'm so grateful that you're here. Most important. Cause I know that you're going to provide to this audience, so thank you. You're so welcome and thank you to be able to help anybody that wouldn't benefit from doing that. Everybody deserves these answers. I love it. So tell me where's the best place to start? Because I know you guys came to inner circle and get this a magical trading as far as different. I'm a one. That's all I cared about was number one.

Speaker 2: 02:19 No, but seriously, tell me what, where, where do people get started? Cause I know this is this, this holiday is a really painful holiday for a lot of people that often times is some of those things where people, all they do is remember all the terrible relationship they had and the ones that didn't work and why it's not working or they're in a relationship and they're trying to think, even though it's good, I want it to be better. I want to have more passion when I have more excitement. There's got to be. I don't want this, you know, you talked about this whole honeymoon phase and I want my whole marriage to be even better than my honeymoon was. Let's go. Where do they go? How do they do this thing? It's great. I would also say that like, I mean, you're just, it right off the bat.

Speaker 3: 03:00 They to like, we've all been conditioned to believe that the passion should fade, our relationships turn should turn down and then they become dull and unfulfilling. And that's so not true. It really is just a direct result of what we've never known. Um, and that's the difference and if you think about it doesn't make sense that we should find ourselves in this dynamic and yet we are so attracted to each other, like why would that be? It doesn't even fit the natural model, but, and it really is a case where people just get to the end of their skill set and you think, well, that's just the way it is. That is the way that it was sad and that's true. Um, but we're changing that dynamic. It didn't have to be that way. That's the first thing people need to realize this. No, it doesn't have to be that way, but culturally everybody kind of conditions that into us. They can. Yeah. There's just the way that it goes. Oh, well

Speaker 4: 03:43 gotta settle and that's sad for people to understand that there is something you can do. There's a completely different approach that you can take. It only takes one person and what I'll throw out there is most people get into a situation where they think it's either them or their spouse. That's the challenge. Like, Oh, if I could just get my partner to see if I could just get them to get on board or you know, maybe it's me. I've always had this problem and I don't know if I'm going to be okay in this relationship or I can't do any better, but what we want people to know is that it really isn't you and it really isn't. Your partner relationship is actually a skillset and it can be learned. It's just that no one ever taught us a way to do relationship that creates predictable patterns that result in an unshakable love. We're nothing. Nobody can come between you and the passion, which is better than anything you've ever had, but you can totally create that. It's a skill set and it can be learned.

Speaker 3: 04:47 Well, I know a lot of people associate this with kind of the type of medicine and don't believe in this thing. So I'm all about practical application. So tell me where do people get started as far as. Because I, I love the idea that fact that it involves only one person and so let's start with what can a person do?

Speaker 4: 05:04 Well, one of the things is about understanding that a lot of what goes on in relationship is based on someone getting triggered. Whether your partner does something that triggers you. We all have those things, right? Like, oh my gosh, a million times I've asked them to whatever, fill in the blank, right? And it triggers me and I just want them to. Why can't they understand? Don't use that tone with me, or why can't they understand? I just need some time when I come home, before I can listen to everything or whatever it is. Understanding that there are sets of triggers that are getting triggered and they're all those things that you're doing that you have no idea that you are unknowingly triggering your partner and so for an example, we often use the example of understanding that there are like so many masculine feminine triggers because we are wildly different and somehow like we knew we were different back, but something happens when you get into a longterm relationship and eventually you start evaluating and judging your partner based on what you would have said or what you would have done or never said or never done and how could they and you're kind of evaluating what they're doing based on your own blueprint of how you see the world.

Speaker 4: 06:16 But we're almost different species. It's like a miracle we ever get anywhere with each other. And so understanding masculine feminine triggers. You can stop unknowingly triggering the crap out of your partner when you don't think you're doing anything wrong and also handle your own triggers where they're triggering you and instead of trying to ask them to change, which doesn't really work. When you ask anybody else to change for you handling your own trigger, so an example would be like how the masculine and feminine proceeds held in the masculine. You want to talk about that together, like men don't offer help to other men, or if they do, they'll say something like, hey, we need some help with that. Usually other guy's like, no, no. I got the first man who was like, no, I'm not gonna say no. Let me step right in. Let me just take over what you're doing here and getting involved because that's going to trigger the other man.

Speaker 4: 07:10 He's like, no, get away this because it's insinuating he doesn't have his act together or somehow he's not capable for a natural reaction and as guys we get them and then if you do the same thing with a woman, you need to see how different is the feminine perceived health as a sign of support and affection. So whereas men also don't appreciate unasked for help. If a woman just started offering help when he hasn't asked for it. Right? It's annoying for a man or offensive even for a man to feel like, why are you, why are you talking to me about this? I never asked you for your help. I've got it. I've got it right. So men end up treating their spouses like there other men and they don't offer unasked for health because they don't want to disrespect their partner or imply that she doesn't have her act together.

Speaker 4: 07:59 And a woman is doing a million things thinking to herself. How is he that he knows all these things? Why is he such a jerk? But he can and he's trying to be respectful by not offering and ask for help. He doesn't want to imply that she doesn't have it together. Um, and meanwhile, women have been trained for centuries that if you're a good girl, you offer help even when people don't ask. And if they say, no, no, no, that's okay. I don't need it. You just jumped in and you start helping anyway because that's what a good girl does. And so when we do that for our husbands, when we're like, do you need a hand with that? And he says, let me just help you, let me just show you how you can do that better. You find men who throw up their hands and be like, well, and we are unknowingly causing kerfuffles and triggering each other just because we don't understand and appreciate how the opposite is wired. One is not wrong and one is not right. One is not better and one is not worse. We're different for a reason. We bring beautiful gifts to each other. We just need to understand how to appreciate that and not let it trigger us because we're so different.

Speaker 3: 09:16 I've been married 25 years as of last November and I still have a situation where I'm like, just tell me what you want me to do. I'll do whatever you want, just tell me what you might do. And she's like,

Speaker 4: 09:26 you should know after 25 years what I need. Again, it's a very big masculine, feminine dynamic. We actually just did a two day event where we taught our students all about the communication that women are comfortable with versus the direct communication that men only operate from and both get triggered by that in each other. Women feel like a man's competent, direct communication like that is a little bit jerky. Like she would never be so bold as to say exactly. Um, and women have learned that, you know, if you really care about someone, you'll figure it out. Right? That old, if you love me, you'd know, which is unfortunately, oh my gosh, she doesn't know. It's just, it's time. We all get trained on this so that we can have a skillset. It's a skillset. It's not. If you love me, this would all work out if you love me enough, it would be meant to be.

Speaker 4: 10:25 All of that stuff that we've been handed from generations past is the old paradigm of how to do relationship. It's broken. It's been broken for a long time and actually never works. When two people in the relationship are free to go. It only worked when one person that our relationship wasn't free to go, but as soon as everybody, like women have rights to leave and men had rights to leave the old paradigm of just people not saying and people not being able to lie to fail, we need to learn the skills of how to align, how to collaborate and how to appreciate all these different.

Speaker 3: 10:59 You hit it right on the head too. It's like, just tell me what to do. We both show up with the best of intentions and we wonder why we're so frustrated. We're like, I'm actually here to help and I wonder why this thing went off the rounds. It's the same on the masculine side as well as the feminine side. It's that gap is that gap that creates a problem because the reason why you're hitting it right there because we have an. It's just a masculine feminine that we're talking about right now. There's actually a few other layers. Um, but what happens is we have these fossils and then we just label it as like, she's unworkable. He's a workable, like it doesn't have to be this hard. So each time one of those failures happen, it's like building a little bit of a wall and then we slowly build up these walls of resentment over time and that is the natural dynamic that people are facing and it's sad because it was preventable.

Speaker 3: 11:45 That's really how their relationship rows going back to your first point by building these walls over time. Then after awhile we feel so distant that we feel so disconnected. We're like, I'm not even sure if I love that person anymore. When in reality it was layer after layer of misunderstanding because again, we. There's, there's been such a massive change in this world where men and women became equal in the workplace in rights and things like that that didn't exist before. And then there was this overcorrection where instead of what used to be real differences, we tried to make everybody the same and it became uncool to talk about any kind of differences. When in reality it's stark is day and night. The differences between the way the feminist sees the world in a masculine, we are equal, but we're not the same. But because we've sort of been conditioned like she should get this or he should get this, and then we wonder why.

Speaker 3: 12:32 Because they know you're equal in the household. You already call here at wherever. No, actually there's still fundamental wiring that has not changed. This evolution happened very quickly. We haven't adapted. And in fact, what typically happens with a massive changes. There's sort of an overcorrection and that's what happened here. We overcorrected to try to make everything the same and it's killing relationships in multiple waves now. But that really is the dynamic of why relationships naturally fade because these walls are being built up accidentally with both sides showing up with the best of intentions. And then they're like, well, I did the best that I could. So I guess this is just the way that it goes. So it was really sad that the outcome is that, but it was totally preventable and it was just this lack of understanding where we're not seeing the reality on the other side of that creates a problem.

Speaker 3: 13:15 And I'll just use my little quick metaphor, uh, which is, you know, we, we say we just thought it said the last meeting actually where if you imagine yourself facing your partner and there's a fence between you, so there's literally you on one side of the fence and your partner on the other side of the fence and you're looking out and behind your partner who is on the other side of the fence. You see like the rest of the neighborhood, right? So you see the neighbor's house here and the trees over there, whenever the case may be. Well from where they're standing and you're saying to them, no, the world looks like this from where they're standing there seeing the houses behind you and the river over there, whatever the case may be, they really don't see the world the same way. They can't. They have a truly different perspective on how this is happening.

Speaker 3: 13:56 And yet we expect them to see everything the same way as us. And then when you tie in the differences between the masculine and feminine, the fact that they truly have a different perspective on the same situation. You start to see where the gaps come from and the only thing that you really can ever agree upon without the awareness of what's going on, his defense that's between you because you both see that one, right, so it's a good metaphor to lock it in. Like we assume we know what's going on on the other side and you can't because you're really not on that other side yet, but you could put yourself there with the right brand. So that's, that's really the key of how one person can always change it, but we haven't been brought up to think that way. We haven't been brought up to respect these differences and we're suffering for it necessarily. So we're trying to change the title and then changed the world because we certainly could use some better relationships in the world. So how do they act? How do people actually do this? Because I know people are gonna go, okay, I get that. I understand that and resonant me. I definitely understand the metaphor, but what do I actually do? Well, we teach

Speaker 4: 14:52 an eight step system and in that system we take you through the eight steps to transform any relationship, learning how to use these tools, learning how to see it differently and what you're literally doing is you're getting an education and a perspective shift on how to understand how your partner is wired and how to really see how you've been wired and to show up differently to shift yourself so that your partner experiences a shift to without having to do any couples because couples work doesn't work, but being able to shift yourself and so we have a tool box with loads of tools and strategies for that.

Speaker 2: 15:29 So for sake of time, I can't go through all eight. Can you give me a couple of people can do. I'm all about making particular action. It's Valentine's Day. They should be out doing something. They didn't make their marriage and their relationship better.

Speaker 4: 15:41 Absolutely. Well, I'll give you one quick thing from step four in our system, which is all that synergy which is learning how to create a rock solid team and how to have that alignment. We teach a hierarchy of how to, um, because people are, I've never been taught how to actually align in your primary relationship and what causes a lot of havoc and relationships is when one spouse is putting the kids before the spouse or maybe one spouse is putting family of origin things over and before the partner if you are prioritizing anything,

Speaker 2: 16:19 I get accused of being the primary thing because my entire life I'm very passionate about what I do and especially right now at clickfunnels, I'm like Uber Passionate and there are times where my wife goes, wait a second year, you spend more time with them than do with me. So how do I fix it?

Speaker 4: 16:35 So the tool is attention versus intention because the struggle that you and most people face is like I have to work a certain amount like I have to, I have to work. I can't spend every minute sitting at your feet saying, hey, how did you like that minute? Was that a good. We only have so many minutes a day. That's just a fact. The differences. A lot of us focus on attention. Like, how much can I give my word once more for me? The kids want more from me. My wife wants more from me, my husband, but it's not about how much attention you give. Your attention is going to go where it needs to go. We all have things. We're all busy. It's about your intention. When you start living from the intention that my spouse and my marriage, there's nothing else in this world that's ever going to come before myself.

Speaker 4: 17:28 We're going to align and from that alignment, we're going to choose. We put the kids first. We're going to choose. We're going to do this mission. We're going to do this business. We're going to choose and when it's working for us, great. If it's not working for us, we're going to talk about how can we reorganize? What else is it being done? How am I not meeting needs? What else can we do when partner feels like you are living with the intention that my marriage is first, I put my attention, my attention, where Gina goals, we're growing, we're serving, we're doing stuff. My kids know I love them. We serve our children together, but we are rock solid and nothing will ever be more important than you'd be amazed how not only do they align with the things that are the most important in your world, but they also get on the same page with you and push you to experience everything that you want in the world because they know that they're not competing. The challenge that is most people's radars, especially entrepreneurs, is that no one on earth will ever give you 100 percent support with something they also feel like they're competing with for your time, attention and priority, and until you give them the experience of feeling like there's nothing that can even come close to competing with you.

Speaker 4: 18:48 They're always going to be like, I don't know if I want you to be working. I don't know. I'd like to get in the way of that. I might have a stink about this. I don't want to make that easy for you because they feel like they're competing with it. It may feel like the grand canyons difference to have your partner feel like they're your number one, but it can happen in an instant you. It's about living from your priorities like Russell teaches, plateau, Colomo, whatever that is, right? Well, if your marriage is number one, are you living? Are you really living from your priorities? That doesn't mean all your minutes of your day go into your marriage, but are you living, but that is your number one priority. When your spouse feels that and believes that everything in your world will shift.

Speaker 3: 19:29 So everybody who's listening, you guys could just sit on the sidelines, I'm gonna, get some free counseling here,

Speaker 4: 19:39 solution providers, and we can sell whatever there seems to be that there is no relationship situation that we can't solve our gifts that we've been given and our mission is just to give it to the world.

Speaker 3: 19:52 Free up some other people too saying, you know, part of the problem too is we are a partner has to meet us halfway. It's, it's there's only one person that shows up differently and just in that example that you just gave is literally you can shift that dynamic if you truly convey to your partner that they are, they are everything to you in this world. You will do anything for them and right now this happens to be the vehicle for how we are providing for our family and all that, but they feel from you how much you love them and they are the priority and if something ever happened like where you had to choose like no, your first time apartment I will find some other way of making a living for us to provide for us. But you know when it gets right down to it, you are number one and when your partner can really feel that they can get out of the way.

Speaker 3: 20:31 It's always one person who creates that tone and one person that can shifted. And when it comes to a tug of war, it has to be both sides hanging on. Either one could have dropped. That road is always been in one hand and what we talked about. When you hear things like counseling as part of the flaws, people go into this thinking, well, I can't anything unless my partner does something first or meet me halfway. That's never going to turn out to be something magical work. Somebody kind of meets you. Halfway is magical and one person shows up and they're like, you are my number one in this particular instance. You are my number one. You mean the whole world to me. Anything else can fall apart, but I can't lose you and right now this is what we're doing for our family.

Speaker 4: 21:05 That's a whole different thing that sets a whole different tone.

Speaker 2: 21:10 I really appreciate that. Only because knowing. So this is a crazy, crazy week for me at the office. Uh, there will be very, very late nights and early mornings here. Um, but it's interesting because I know that for, for example, for my wife, the most important thing for her is it's not money. It's not gifts. Appreciative, but it's time. Quality. Time is like the most important thing for her. And I've used to think it was just quantity time and so I'd be there quantity wise, but I wouldn't be there being present work. And so Saturday I knew we were in a situation where I knew this is going to be a crazy week and so I made sure we had our date night on Friday night. But then on Saturday I thought we gotta do something even more special. And so we went on this crazy hour and a half drive up into the mountains to find this hot spring that wasn't even hot.

Speaker 2: 21:58 It was so shallow you couldn't sit in it. And the people who were in there, I'm like, I don't know if I want to be in sharing this cesspool with you. And so we turned around and drove another hour and a half back down and then walked around the Boise river for four or five miles trying just only because I know you and I've spoken on this kind of stuff before. And I, I know the importance for myself, especially with my wife being president. And even though in the back of my mind there's like, oh my gosh, you've got a laundry list of things to do, but I know that, uh, for her. And one thing that I'm, again, I wish I was as great as you guys are, but for me it's one of those things where I'm, I'm working on it all the time too. The best way that she understands my intention is by my spending quality time, whether it doesn't have to be weeks on end, but it has to be quality time where it's just her. And I know as I, as I do that is, I show up for that. It then allows me. She'll be like, Dave, go, I know you need to do this, this group can you do with that? So I appreciate that a ton.

Speaker 4: 22:58 Masculine presence is not just your wife's a masculine presence is tremendous for all women who are in their feminine meeting, their masculine presence. I actually talk about this even in the 30 day challenge. I'm in one funnel away about using the great, great skill that masculine energy has of compartmentalization where you're able to put something in a box and put it away and like not think about that, using that when you put your work away and giving yourself that grace to be fully present for her with nothing else, for a period of time, making that decision intentionally and showing up with masculine presence, which is something all teachers a lot to the men in our programs. It does wonders for a woman. I think it's underestimated because you guys have your presence all the time. You don't realize how important that energy is to the feminine, but it allows a woman to just kind of melt away all of her stress, all of her thoughts, because her man brings his presence so she can release all of the controlling, directing and stuff that she's doing all week long. Men Can do controlling, directing, leading. Women can do controlling, directing, leading, but you get fueled up by. We get exhausted by it and it's your masculine presence that lets us rejuvenate and replenish to be ready to go out there again. It is so needed. We don't have that energy within us. And you do. And so when you have that really focused masculine presence time with your lady, even if it's 15 minutes a night, um, it can do wonders to allow her to feel ready to do it all again.

Speaker 2: 24:47 You mentioned that it's a fun stage in our life right now. I've got one son that just got married. It's been a year. My oldest son, Shandor, married our first daughter into the family, Fran. I have four boys and that's our first girl. So it's been. So they actually just moved up here to boise since you guys are coming soon. Um, they, uh, they moved up here and it's been fun just seeing this newly wed couple as they've been married just over a year and I've got another son who's dating the girl real serious. But the thing I've, I've realized as I'm speaking primarily to my four boys is the power of a woman has over. Man is like, it's, it's like our Achilles heel, it's the most amazing thing in the world and and we've had this conversation just over this weekend, how we're looking at a couple of my son's friends who are in a situation where they had left to go do something, but there's not that congruency between them in a marriage where there's no way in the world that she would feel supportive if he went and did this other thing and because of that he just, he can't and at the same time it's creating that angst within their marriage because they're not aligned and it's been.

Speaker 2: 25:53 It's a fun point in my life to kind of take a look back and seeing this next generation coming through and how they're dealing with their friendships and relationships, but mentally, I guess as you. I know we've talked a lot about the masculine side. If you don't mind spending a few minutes just on the feminine side and the power that exists there.

Speaker 4: 26:09 The power of the feminine for the masculine. You can also talk to that. So you're spot on, right? Of course. And the funny thing is, and this is another one of these layers I'm talking about, a lot of women are now in the workforce and forced to show up in their masculine. What's funny is the power of the feminine is getting muddied into the belief that I have to be more masculine. The show up in the corporate world, for example, to make a difference where it competes somehow and you know, it's, it's like giving

Speaker 3: 26:44 away your power because like you said, the women, the femininity, the sunshine of femininity, of fresh air, of femininity is magic spells on us and immediately calls upon us to serve. And the more mature masculine we are and the more we just want to be like a hero and say, how can I help you? Like we wanted to step right up. That's incredibly powerful. It's like intoxicating and yet it's being lost today because it wouldn't have to be more masculine to try and compete in a man's world. And it's, it's not, it's just part of that confusion that we have. But what it comes down to is it calls upon us. Again, we were designed to be together and that's why it calls upon us and this is where the beauty of sort of the Human Yang of the feminine and the masculine come together because you know, they don't want to protect themselves, they don't want to be the strong ones, they don't want to be the ones driving and pushing them, controlling now they love for the man to come help them.

Speaker 3: 27:31 And getting back to the earlier story, just as a small little example, you know, let's say a woman today need some help carrying something in the door, um, and if and if and if they all are, so I'm sure the stories are short. Power is like, I see her struggling and carrying this box. So I'm like, Hey, let me help you. She's like, no, no, I got it now. Most men here that and we respond as if she's another man. Like, okay, you got it. Let me hold the door for you. And we kind of sort of help, but I intervene. I'm like, oh no, I'll tell you what, I've got this for you. If you don't mind. Let me just take this view and then she like lit up with the sun with a smile and I'm like, yes, like I lived somebody up and she felt so seen and appreciated and cared for like it is the natural wiring.

Speaker 3: 28:14 They have that power over us and if we choose to accept it and respond to it like, and we serve the feminine because it calls upon us to serve them on like we just want to do something for them and make some magic happen. I'm not, that didn't sound right, but I get that I have to watch that one. But nonetheless it's that win win and we both feel it. They have power over us and we have power over them in the same way, but neither one is really exercising well because we don't see it for what it is, right model. But we know it when we see it and at times it feels almost like on both sides, a feminine feel like I'm craving the masculine man to step up and be present for me. And they feel like they're sort of on an island and sort of starving a little bit.

Speaker 3: 29:01 We're all we have is coconuts right now. And then zoo. There's this epidemic. We're like it, like I would just love to find a, you know, a feminine woman because I know it lights me up. I just want to help serve her the moment she needs some help and I'm right there. I'm going to help because we love to serve and we're sort of killing the gift in each other right now. And we're not being seen from the side that we need to. But both sides have that same magic of each other. But the feminine, when when a woman becomes open and vulnerable, like, Oh, let me help you, sir, let me serve you. But if she's pulling, pushing, driving and controlling like, okay, you got this handled that right. It kills the whole dynamic. And that's just one example of how that dynamic plays out. But we both have that power over each other. It's just not being seen

Speaker 2: 29:42 and used so that we can serve each other in the way we want to be appreciated. And seen in a way that they want to be seen and taken care of, which lights them up and let them stay in the feminist and they don't have to protect again and be more masculine because that's really what it comes down to. It

Speaker 4: 29:55 feminine does bring that magic and when I speak from experience, because like part of my history was I also became that masculine a ice princess and corporate accounting trying to like man up and be more like the dyes in order to succeed and protect myself and provide for myself. But honestly, I'm not a lot of women who are finding themselves in this place later in life where it's like, it's exhausting. It's not authentic for me to try to be more like a masculine man. And um, you know, whereas a woman down to feel like she carries everything on her back. Not that any one is better or worse, it's just that it's a compliment for a reason. We're complimentary for a reason. And when we can both truly live from our authentic selves, our authentic energy, not trying to be someone we thought we had to be in order to please the other where have a successful whatever, and then the energy really starts to rise. Both our personal power and the energy of passion between the masculine and feminine, which as you lose that Masculine Feminine Energy, you lose your passion. But when you bring it back like look at you, bring it back.

Speaker 2: 31:11 It's been fun for me to see how you use this in your business and also how you've kind of transitioned to what you're doing on the webinar now because it's been neat for me to see again, for those us who can't see, I'm basically staring at the two of them and right behind them are two huge plaques to the board when you plaques to have them. Not to say one, but I mean it's crazy and they're on their way to the third. And I think it's been neat for me to see the way that your masculine, Feminine Injury Works Together. Help the two of you guys achieve where you guys are going as a couple, but also in your own business and I think it's, it's neat to see the masculine Feminine Energy Eight from a business perspective and how it, how has actually accelerated the growth in your business and everything you guys have been doing there. If you don't mind, I know you guys are doing a Webinar that's been one of the main reasons or how you've gotten to one of your two comma club awards. Tell people how are you driving traffic into it? How does your funnel work and then where can they actually see it in action?

Speaker 4: 32:04 So our, our Webinar, we teach and Paul teaches from the masculine feminine. We do everything we do together and in our business, you know, Paul really has a strength in his operations and the way he does things were creative and I do use more feminine energy and what I do, I try to do what Paul does and so we put together this webinar where we can teach people how they can also do this and their relationships and just like I'm Russell teaches, it's a perfect webinar format. It is so powerful. It really helps people get out of their fear of not taking action and get into a sense of empowerment where they feel like, I can do this. Like, oh my gosh, you have no idea how many people watch your Webinar and say, why didn't you ever tell me this? Why aren't we telling our kids dance?

Speaker 4: 33:01 Why doesn't everybody know this? One of the distance, it's basic relationship education that everybody deserves and the perfect webinar that we use that format empowered us to figure out how to show that to people in a way that they could really digest it. And then from there, they enroll in our quickstart program, which is our eight week online program where we teach them our eight step system and an eight week online program and come to our three day live event, the relationship breakthrough retreat, and that's where it's a breakthrough three day event, breaking through to the next level in your relationship regardless of where your relationship is, and then they enroll many times in our relationship, you your lung program and really take it to a mastery level of putting back first for them. As far as like driving the traffic lights,

Speaker 3: 33:48 Russell has taught us, enabled us to actually get what is obviously a different approach that most people aren't accustomed to into language everybody could understand. And then with that clarity we're able to do the facebook ads and things like that to get started in funnel. If you don't have that language right, which is more than half the battle. It doesn't go. It doesn't land. It's your. So in her own head is entrepreneurs. You don't know what they don't know what they're hearing from this. And when Russell like outlines, it's so clearly through his programs how to do that, it just sinks and the people that you're trying to reach get it. That is what I'm looking for. So then it's. It'll just fall through like so whatever marketing you do, whether it's dream 100 or your facebook ads, whatever the funnel was, the key and the language in the copy with the clarity that you get from that is what makes it work because without that they may get to your page and they get to your funnel where you're trying to start with where you're trying to offer up what you have, but if you don't understand what that is,

Speaker 4: 34:49 nothing's going to happen on the wall. Everything. Read the expert secrets. We learned that step by step. Before that was the queen of the one half of one percent conversion webinar where the most I ever did was one half of one percent. Dave. We once did a webinar and over 17,000 people registered for one webinar and one half of one percent of them enrolled in the program. Like I almost lost it the next day. I found wrestling, now we convert 25 percent on a Webinar, we double it in our followup and yes, we need sales to the mission and fund our company, but those are families that are actually going to heal and be empowered for life with the relationship skill set that they never had where we are breaking the chains in their family. It will never be repeated. Their children were learned from watching them like these are real families. That will be forever changed because one person was willing to say, I'll be the hero of my family. Teach me how to do this. I'll turn it around for my family. My children will learn from watching me. I can teach them. Let's do this now, and that is a whole different ballgame. That's why we do this.

Speaker 2: 36:12 I love it. I think that's the exciting thing for me is we take a look at where you guys are coming from and we've seen the perfect webinar work in so many different industries and it's fun for me from a marriage relationship standpoint to see the impact and for some reason this year is all about impact. For us it seems to be the number one word we really have really focused in on is yeah, we've, we have over 73,000 customers at click funnels and that's really cool, but the part that's most exciting for us is to see the impact that each one of those 73,000 customers have, as you mentioned, literally on tens of thousands of lives that you're having the opportunity to teach through a crazy little piece of software. And if so, if people wanted to find out more about you, where do they go?

Speaker 4: 36:52 Uh, they've not a relationship development.org to find out more about us and watch the perfect webinar. If that relationship breakthrough secrets, that pub

Speaker 2: 37:02 they go to relationship breakthrough secrets.com, is that right? Relationship breakthrough secrets.com. Take a look at the landing page, fall again, pay attention to how they're actually going through that funnel. Realize that again, a lot of people they will. That would never work for me in my industry, and this is a. it's cool for me. I remember when you guys first came into the inner circle and it was like, that is so neat for me to see that industry, that vertical, that niche, having the opportunity of totally changing and impacting tens of thousands of lives because again, you're. You're implementing those things that you've. You've seen battle tested and actually are working for you. Congratulations.

Speaker 4: 37:37 Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for teaching.

Speaker 3: 37:40 We didn't have. We didn't do it if we didn't have the funnel. If we didn't have Russell, if we didn't have that genius to shortcut it for us, I don't know that we would have made it cause all together where we really are trying to change the world and thank God for you because you're helping us. You gave us the tools and the understanding to actually reach the people so we can change the world and shortcut what would've been, you know, 20 years of guessing different, made it that long and down until like a year. So now we're two comma, two Comma Club awards on the wall from a half a percent conversion to that. Like thank you and that is the ripple effect and we could not have done it otherwise if we didn't have you guys. So we're excited

Speaker 2: 38:23 and for those guys you're listening. Happy Valentine's Day. Again. Checkout relationship breakthrough secrets.com or relationship development.org. And you can find out more about stacey and Paul there. Any other parting words before we wrap things up? Oh, we would just

Speaker 4: 38:36 say that we are so grateful to everyone in the click funnels community and this community rocks, whatever you want to do, whatever your mission is and no matter what it is, whatever your mission is in this role, apply what is being taught by these people who have already vetted it already figured out, short cut. It's in their best interest to help you be successful with this. Just plug in what they do with what you do best. That's a marriage and you will skyrocket and the same goes for your love relationships. There's no love relationship that can't be taken to the next level. If there's anything that we can do to serve you, this is our mission in the world. Just reach out to us and let us know how we can serve you because we're right here and no matter what Valentine's Day was like in the past, doesn't matter what happened with today's a new day decision point to take action. Well thanks again guys. We'll see you this weekend.

Speaker 5: 39:49 Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to podcasts and one of the things we're really passionate about is trying to get everyone up and running as fast as they possibly can and one of the things we've done recently that has helped so many people and that is our one funnel away challenging. If you don't mind, if it's something of interest to you, we actually will pay you $100 for anybody who signs up for the one funnel a challenge or if you want to go ahead and sign up and do it yourself, just go to one funnel away challenge.com. Again, that's one funnel away challenge.com. Sign up, go through a 30 day challenge. Uh, it's one of the great things we've got Russell basically giving me a 10,000 foot level. Julie's swing comes in and gives you, kind of hear the nuts and bolts of exactly how to make it work. And then steven comes in every single day and spends time basically telling you exactly what to do on a daily basis. So he'll hold your feet to the fire. Super Accountable. We've had more people get more success and things done out of this than anything else. So go ahead and sign up@onefunnelaway.com. Thanks.