#82 Permission to Lift the Veil

Today, I interview Kamala Murphey whose family was a fairly rigid system. Her father – who had at one point studied to become a priest but in the end, did not – was a strict perfectionist. He and his doting wife had high expectations of their two daughters, thrilled with the acclaim they saw on report cards.

Kamala uses the phrase "compliant children", which paints a saddening image. She also tells us that her mother was dealing with alcohol addiction behind closed doors. When Kamala was in first grade, her favorite activity was show and tell because she got to talk in front of the class and everyone listened to her. Then in second grade, she remembers a teacher telling her not to get up unless she had something "important" to say. This made Kamala question the importance of her thoughts and what she was communicating. It broke her heart. She says she carried that for a long time. 

Although Kamala didn't mind being "a good girl" and was happy to have been disciplined, on the inside she was still screaming, "Oh, let me experience life!" She was excited to leave home and go find her way. She makes the amazing point that part of the "good" of a luscious life is in figuring out "how we’re created to be and accessing all of it." 

Her mother died at 68, and while working in corporate America at the time, Kamala saw how unhappy and empty her mother's life had become. She realized she wanted a bigger, more luscious life for herself. She left this work and started a coaching business, trying out Toastmasters, as many of us do. One of those coaches introduced her to Speaking Circles, which I founded with my partner, Lee Glickstein. We all worked together and she says she immediately felt a great connection. One of the things she learned from me was the process of pausing and taking a big deep breath – not rushing to speak. 

And one thing she says stuck with her about Lee was his encouragement to "dare to be boring". She learned how to always listen to herself and connect with everything that is stirring deep inside her. Today, she helps other women look into the mirror and just breathe, showing them that they are strong, brave, beautiful, and worthy.

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Kamala Murphey has been a spiritual life coach and mentor for over 20 years, working with women worldwide to move from heartache and disappointment to living rich, full, luscious lives. As a young woman, she battled with herself trying to fit into who and how she was supposed to be. Her one-part good Catholic girl was easy, but how to meld in the wild-hearted hippie chick inside her? Having experienced the anguish of playing small, knowing she was meant for more, she knew she was to help others like herself break free from what she calls Good Girl prison. 

Her passion is to empower women - especially those trained to be good girls - to change how they see themselves, to own their beauty, wisdom, heart, and chutzpah to become the models who change the paradigm about older women feeling valued, being seen and heard, rather than the heartache of fading into the woodwork, becoming invisible. She holds Master’s degrees in counseling and theology. And is the host of the Heart & Chutzpah podcast. 

Find Kamala here: 
https://www.kamalamurphey.com/ 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kamalamurphey/ 
https://www.instagram.com/kamalamurphey/ 
https://www.facebook.com/KamalaMurpheyHeartacheHealer 
https://twitter.com/Kamala_Murphey 

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I'm your podcast host, Dr. Doreen Downing, and I help people find their voice so they can overcome anxiety, be confident, and speak without fear. 

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