Mamamia Out Loud Our Most Talked About Conversations: One Of Us Has No Charisma & The New Dating Vocabulary
Jan 8, 2026
Em Vernem, a savvy dating correspondent, dives into the nuances of modern dating in this lively discussion. They explore the fascinating world of charisma, featuring the quirky 'Charismulator' that can boost your charm in minutes. Em shares eye-opening stories about dating miscommunications and introduces the new terms like 'mankeeping' and 'hetero-pessimism,' capturing the frustrations many face. The conversation also touches on the challenges of emotional articulation and offers practical tips for clear relationship endings.
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Charisma Is More Than Looks
- Charisma combines attractiveness, extroversion and perceived intelligence into an aura that makes people feel good around someone.
- Mental speed and behavioural flexibility (quick wit, adaptability) are core traits researchers found drive charisma.
Learnable Charisma Habits
- Practice small behaviours like leaning in, friendly eye contact, mirroring and varying tone to increase approachability.
- Use training (like public speaking) or tools such as the 'Charismalator' to boost perceived charisma by measurable amounts.
When Charisma Becomes A Liability
- Too much charisma can tip into narcissism and make people distrust you despite surface charm.
- Excessive charisma often signals showmanship without follow-through, which becomes a liability.
