Suicidal Thoughts in Teens: Why Kids Don’t Tell Parents and How to Respond

Why don’t teens tell their parents when they’re having suicidal thoughts?

In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, psychotherapist, author, and suicide prevention expert Dr. Stacy Friedenthal explains the top reasons adolescents keep their suicidal thoughts hidden from parents — and how families can respond with compassion instead of fear, anger, or shame.

Drawing from both professional expertise and personal lived experience, Dr. Friedenthal outlines the 10 most common reasons teens avoid talking to parents about suicide, from worrying about overreaction, to not wanting to feel like a burden, to fearing hospitalization.

This episode is an essential listen for parents, teachers, and anyone who cares about young people’s mental health. With empathy and clarity, Dr. Friedenthal helps us understand suicidal thinking as a symptom — not a choice — and shows us how listening with calm and love can open the door to life-saving conversations.

Link to resource for parents: https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2013/05/29/parents-and-teens/

Link to learn more about Dr. Stacey Freedenthal: https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/about-stacey-freedenthal/stacey-freedenthal-phd-lcsw/

Primary Topics Covered:

• Why suicide rates among adolescents are rising
• The #1 reason teens don’t disclose suicidal thoughts to parents
• How parental overreaction (fear, anger, sadness) shuts down honesty
• The role of guilt, stigma, and blame in silencing kids
• Understanding suicidal thoughts as symptoms, not choices
• Why some parents take suicidal thinking personally — and why that’s dangerous
• The powerful role of ambivalence in preventing suicide
• Dr. Friedenthal’s lived experience with suicidal thoughts and attempts
• What parents can do differently to create safety and trust

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction — suicide rates in teens rising sharply
 01:11 Dr. Stacy Friedenthal on her work and research
 02:18 Why adolescents share suicidal thoughts with peers, not parents
 03:26 A tragic example: journals found after a teen’s suicide
 04:05 The #1 reason: teens fear parents will “freak out”
 05:12 Parents offering reassurance instead of listening
 06:17 When parents’ overwhelming sadness shifts focus away from the teen
 07:01 Believing you’re a burden — depression’s convincing lie
 07:39 Parents reacting with anger or blame
 08:51 Understanding suicidal thoughts as symptoms of illness, stress, or sleep deprivation
 10:12 Why guilt (“if you loved me, you wouldn’t think of suicide”) shuts kids down
 12:15 Misconceptions: suicide as a choice vs. distorted thinking
 13:37 Dr. Friedenthal’s own lived experience with suicidal thoughts
 14:48 How irrational thoughts can feel rational in suicidal states
 15:35 Key takeaways for parents: listen first, respond with love
 16:37 Preview of Part 2 (reasons 6–10)

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