Swoon: Love Lessons with Julie and Gina Something to Talk About: Healthy Communication in Relationships
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Sep 16, 2019 Communication is the primary challenge couples face, often shaped by family patterns. It’s essential to reframe poor communication as a lack of skills that can be learned. Practicing communication outside of conflict helps reduce reactivity. Healthy conflict can foster understanding, so setting intentions for tough conversations is crucial. Recognizing when emotions run high allows for beneficial pauses. Regular check-ins can ease urgency, and assuming positive intent lowers reactivity, paving the way for resolution.
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Communication Means Different Things
- Communication problems look different in every relationship and are the top reason couples seek help.
- Expect that your communication defaults won't match your partner's and that's normal.
We Bring Family Defaults Into Love
- We learn communication patterns from early relationships and bring different defaults into partnerships.
- Those differing defaults make perfect alignment nearly impossible and guarantee conflict will arise.
Treat Communication Like Practice
- Practice new communication skills rather than blaming yourself as a 'bad communicator.'
- Train those skills regularly so they work under activation, not just in neutral moments.
