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00:00:48 Judi Brownell from Cornell University

00:01:07 Here are the components of Brownell’s model: H: Hearing

00:03:01 U: Understanding

00:05:01 R: Remembering

00:06:48 I: Interpreting

00:08:33 E: Evaluating

00:10:57 R: Responding

00:15:29 Don’t Be a Conversational Narcissist!

00:17:52 Reframe the Way You Understand the Purpose of Conversation

00:18:52 Don’t Jump Ahead

00:20:04 Avoid Advice

00:21:12 Stop Centering Yourself

00:23:06 Watch Out for Passive Conversational Narcissism, too

00:23:56 What If They’re the Conversational Narcissist?

00:26:37 The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order.

00:26:53 Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn.

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• Good listening is a collection of different skills: hearing, understanding, interpreting, and responding. The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order. Remember that listening is active and includes both verbal and nonverbal material.

• Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn. Reframe the way you understand the purpose of conversation and understand that it’s not about you or your ego. Avoid giving advice, interrupting (or thinking about what you want to say), or centering yourself in the dialogue. Similarly, don’t be afraid to disengage when you encounter a conversational narcissist.

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