The Relational Podcast The Art of Relational Work: What the Research Really Tells Us with David Jay
Sep 23, 2025
In this engaging conversation, David Jay, author of 'Relationality' and founder of asexuality.org, delves into the transformative power of deep relationships. He shares insights on how relational systems can address societal challenges like loneliness and democratic health. David emphasizes the importance of creating nurturing environments, highlights the role of storytelling, and advocates for trust over control. He offers practical advice for building connections, urging listeners to embrace unpredictability and start small in their relational journeys.
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From Asexuality.org To Movement Building
- David Jay describes founding asexuality.org to expand what counts as relationship and to build collective care and power.
- He recounts growing a global gathering place and later applying those lessons to movements and tech accountability work.
Relationships Are Defined By Mutual Change
- David Jay defines a relationship as when people change one another and that deeper, persistent change equals stronger relationships.
- He frames 'relationality' as the property of environments that reliably allow those transformative changes to happen.
Design Patterns That Grow Relationships
- Relational systems mirror evolutionary properties: small clusters, periodicity, and intersecting edges increase relational growth.
- David emphasizes personal storytelling and honoring ancestral lineages as practical ways to create relational containers.
