239: How to Ensure Your Authority Is Respected | Feedback Friday
Aug 16, 2019
This discussion dives into the challenges of asserting authority in the workplace when you're experienced but lack an official title. The hosts explore the ethical implications of hidden cameras in Airbnb rentals, raising questions about privacy and transparency. They also address the importance of social skills, recommend methods to rebuild confidence after personal setbacks, and share tips for effective communication. Plus, learn how to navigate networking opportunities and keep meaningful conversations alive.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Assume Recording
Assume you're always being recorded, especially in others' homes.
Act accordingly to avoid unwanted privacy violations.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Conversation Depth
Use the FEW principle (Facts, Emotion, Why) to deepen conversations.
Ask questions that elicit facts, then emotions, then the reasons behind those emotions.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Genuine Interest
Show genuine interest in others to improve perceived friendliness.
Focus on the conversation, not just appearing friendly.
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In 'Captivate,' Vanessa Van Edwards shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of interactions at work, home, and in any social situation. This book provides simple, science-backed methods to solve people problems, such as how to work a room, read facial expressions, and make memorable conversations by generating the pleasure hormone dopamine in listeners. It aims to improve interpersonal intelligence, make a lasting first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in various situations like negotiations, interviews, and parties.
Influence
The Psychology of Persuasion
Robert Cialdini
In this highly acclaimed book, Dr. Robert B. Cialdini explains the psychology behind why people say yes and how to apply these insights ethically. The book outlines six universal principles of influence: Reciprocation, Commitment and Consistency, Social Proof, Liking, Authority, and Scarcity. The new and expanded edition includes a seventh principle, Unity, along with new research, insights, and examples. Cialdini uses memorable stories and relatable examples to make the subject accessible and easy to understand, helping readers become more skilled persuaders and defend themselves against unethical influence attempts.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations[2][3][5].
At work, you're the youngest person on the team -- but you've also been there longer than anyone else. Your boss (who lives in another state) refers to you as his site lead, but you don't have an official title to reflect this. Your group needs the organization you know you can offer, but you don't want to come off as a power-hungry usurper. How do you get your boss to clarify your role -- to you and the team? On this Feedback Friday, we'll try to show you how to ensure your authority is respected.
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
Is there a moral and/or legal obligation for Airbnb hosts to inform their guests when there are security cameras present -- whether or not they're recording anything?
Are there any online courses or coaches specialized in social skills we would recommend for making conversation and connection easier?
You're worried you don't come across as friendly. How can you improve your outer emotional reaction to people without feeling like you're overacting and being fake?
Your boss communicates with you as if you're in a leadership position, but you feel like you have no authority. Do you need to ask him to clarify your role -- to you and your team?
Is sharing photos useful when you're reconnecting with someone you haven't seen in a while, and is there networking value in alumni associations?
You tend to forget the lessons you learn from audiobooks after a couple of months. What is the best way to memorize and apply the key takeaways of these books?
What are the logistics of carrying on a successful long-distance relationship with a significant other whose sister doesn't like you and will probably undermine you from afar?
You want to start a family, but your spouse's fertility issues may prevent this. Additionally, they're averse to therapy that might help lessen the impact or present options if you receive bad news. How can you be as supportive as possible?
Life Pro Tip: Buy daily necessities in bulk when they're on sale, and pay close attention to unit prices!
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