LessWrong (30+ Karma) “Mediators: a different route through conflict” by Ben Pace
Nov 17, 2025
Ben Pace, a writer and speaker on conflict resolution, dives deep into the intricate world of mediation. He discusses how the Srebrenica massacre catalyzed US intervention in the Bosnian War and highlights Richard Holbrooke's shuttle diplomacy that paved the path to peace. Ben shares personal experiences of mediation, explaining the dichotomy between process-based and outcome-based apologies. He argues for the importance of third-party mediators in fostering trust and resolving conflicts, urging listeners to embrace their invaluable role.
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Dayton Peace Talks Brought Lasting Agreement
- Richard Holbrooke used intense shuttle diplomacy and a secluded negotiation site to bring Bosnian leaders together.
- After 21 days at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio, they signed a lasting peace agreement.
Personal Mediation Succeeded After Escalation
- Ben Pace recounts a personal conflict where an initial mediator failed but a more powerful, involved mediator secured recompense.
- The later mediator arranged meetings, assigned blame, and achieved a settlement that honoured the contract.
Two Distinct Reasons To Apologize
- Apologies can be about process or outcome, and many rationalists undervalue outcome-based apologies.
- Outcome apologies accept responsibility for imposed costs even when no procedural mistake occurred, building trust and facilitating future cooperation.