Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships with Lauren Fogel Mersy

Have you ever struggled with having a different sex drive in a relationship? In this episode sex therapist, Lauren Fogel Mersy, a sex therapist, joins me to chat all about this and her new book on this topic! We discuss what sex therapy is, the pressure of sexual expectations and the stigma surrounding discussions about sex, and the importance of quality over quantity in sexual experiences. We also discuss the impact of sociocultural factors, such as purity culture and body image, on sexuality is discussed. Finally, the conversation addresses the process of unraveling and rediscovering one's sexuality. In this conversation, Lauren Fogel Mersy discusses the challenges of navigating libido differences in relationships and provides insights on how to address them. The conversation covers topics such as breaking down barriers to sexual exploration, the impact of purity culture on sexuality, navigating sexuality during pregnancy, expanding the definition of sexual experiences, and inviting willingness and exploration in relationships.

Takeaways

• Sex therapy is a specialized form of therapy that focuses on addressing issues related to sexuality and relationships.
• Libido is not fixed and can fluctuate throughout a person's life. It is important to understand that everyone's libido is unique and can be influenced by various factors.
• Quality of sexual experiences is more important than quantity. It is essential to prioritize pleasure and satisfaction in sexual encounters.
• Responsive desire is a valid and common experience, where desire emerges in response to sexual stimulation or arousal.
• Sociocultural factors, such as purity culture and body image, can have a significant impact on a person's sexuality and may require exploration and healing.
• Rediscovering and reclaiming one's sexuality may involve addressing cognitive and somatic disconnects and working through trauma. Breaking down sexual goals into smaller, more manageable steps can help overcome barriers to sexual exploration.
• Purity culture can have a lasting impact on individuals' attitudes towards sex and can create disorienting experiences when beliefs shift.
• Pregnancy can bring up complex emotions and challenges around sexuality, and it's important to find ways to navigate these changes.
• Expanding the definition of sexual experiences beyond traditional scripts can enhance intimacy and pleasure in relationships.
• Inviting willingness and exploration in relationships can help address libido differences and create a more fulfilling sexual connection.

If you are interested in therapy or learning more about my practice, Therapy for Women Center, visit www.therapyforwomencenter.com. We currently serve 27 states virtually and have three physical office locations in the Philadelphia area.

I would love to connect with you, reach out to me on instagram and TikTok @therapyforwomen. To suggest a topic, buy my books, please visit www.amandaewhite.com.

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About Lauren Fogel Mersy-

Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy (she/her) is a licensed psychologist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is the coauthor of the book "Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships." She received her doctorate in clinical psychology and completed her postdoctoral training at the University of Minnesota’s Institute for Sexual and Gender Health.She has advanced training in Gottman Method Couple Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. She specializes in sexual health and relationships and owns her own private practice in a suburb of Minneapolis, Minnesota. She has an active social media presence on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok and can be found @drlaurenfogelmersy.