Guest Darby Strickland, expert in abuse, discusses topics like identifying abuse in churches, differentiating genuine repentance and empty apologies in abusive relationships, understanding the dynamics and types of abuse, redemption and hope, addressing anxiety and victimhood with biblical passages, practical caring for abuse victims, and supporting children affected by abuse.
Recognizing the signs and asking specific questions about behavior patterns are crucial in identifying abuse.
Patience and meekness play a significant role in offering support and helping victims apply gospel truths to their lives.
The church should be victim-centered, seek assistance from professionals if needed, and be willing to learn and adapt to the complexities of abuse situations.
Deep dives
Understanding Abuse and Its Dynamics
Abuse is a pattern of behavior where one person perpetually uses power and control to dominate their spouse, creating a relationship characterized by certain harmful behaviors. It is important to have precise definitions of abuse and recognize the entitlement and coercion at its core. Victims often don't recognize the abuse or suffer in silence. Recognizing the signs and asking specific questions about behavior patterns are crucial in identifying abuse.
Providing Gospel Care to the Abused
When providing gospel care to the abused, it is important to offer comfort and hope in the midst of their suffering. Sharing passages like Philippians 4 can remind them of God's peace, the importance of prayer, and focusing on what is true and noble. It's essential to balance propositional truth with experiential truth, allowing them to see the impact of their story and creating a safe space for vulnerability. Patience and meekness play a significant role in offering support and helping victims apply gospel truths to their lives.
The Role of the Church in Addressing Abuse
The church's role in addressing abuse is to listen without judgment and ask questions that encourage victims to share their stories. The church should respect the victim's wishes regarding involving the oppressor and prioritize safety in all actions. This may include confronting the oppressor, providing resources, advocating for the victim, and ensuring information flow is closed to prevent manipulation. The church should be victim-centered, seek assistance from professionals if needed, and be willing to learn and adapt to the complexities of abuse situations.
Understanding the dynamics of oppression and labeling abusive behavior
In the podcast episode, the speaker discusses the importance of helping victims of abuse understand the dynamics of oppression. By identifying and labeling the behaviors, victims can gain clarity about their situation and realize that the abuse is not their fault. This process of understanding takes time and often involves recognizing the danger they are in. The speaker emphasizes the significance of victims reaching out to key people in their lives for support and assistance.
The role of lament and relying on God's character
The podcast explores the importance of lamenting and voicing anguish in the midst of abuse. It is noted that lament is an act of faith and a way of communicating with God about frustrations and failings. The speaker highlights the need for victims to understand that the Lord sees and is moved by their pain, even if they can't see it themselves. The podcast also mentions the significance of relying on God's character, patience, perseverance, and love for His people throughout the journey of understanding and addressing abuse.
In this episode of The Messy Podcast, Scott Mehl interviews Darby Strickland on the intricacies of abuse.
Sponsored by Eternity Bible College: https://www.eternity.edu
Resources:
Darby Strickland – Is it Abuse: A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims
https://www.amazon.com/Abuse-Biblical-Identifying-Domestic-Helping/dp/1629956945
Darby Strickland – Domestic Abuse: Help for the Sufferer
https://www.amazon.com/Domestic-Abuse-Sufferer-Resources-Changing/dp/1629953253/
Chris Moles - The Heart of Domestic Abuse
https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Domestic-Abuse-Solutions-Violence/dp/1936141272
Justin and Lindsay Holcomb – Is it My Fault?
https://www.amazon.com/My-Fault-Suffering-Domestic-Violence/dp/0802410243/
Joy Forrest – Called to Peace: A Survivor’s Guide to Finding Peace
https://www.amazon.com/Called-Peace-Survivors-Finding-Domestic/dp/1948449013/
Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson – When Home Hurts
https://www.amazon.com/When-Home-Hurts-Responding-Domestic/dp/1527107221/
Diane Langberg – Suffering and the Heart of God
https://www.amazon.com/Suffering-Heart-God-Destroys-Restores/dp/1942572026/
Church Cares Curriculum
https://churchcares.com/
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