The Desire to Be Wanted in Sexual Encounters

Agnes Callard discusses the fundamental erotic predicament of never being assured of being wanted in exactly the way we want to be wanted in sexual encounters. She refers to an essay by David Halperin, in which he describes the way sex works in gay bathhouses and the appeal of being wanted solely for one's body. However, Callard highlights a logical problem in this scenario - if everyone's desire is solely to be wanted for their body, then it becomes unclear why anyone would engage with another person. The challenge lies in understanding what we really want when we desire to be wanted and the nature of reciprocal desire in sexual encounters.