What Is Love?

There are many concepts about the meaning of the word, “love.” However, Anthony DeMello, in his book, The Way to Love, condenses it down to one word, “awareness.” Awareness is “being fully present in the moment you are in.”

Anytime you are anxious or angry, you are connected to the past and have lost awareness. However, since we are programmed to survive, mentally and physically, we are always on the lookout for danger. These reactions are not controllable, and it requires tools to process them and then being in the present can emerge.

Awareness is at the core of successful human relationships, yet close relationships are the most powerful triggers. Instead of being an opportunity to heal, they often are an additional source of stress (pain). Today, we are just focusing on the word, “awareness” as the word for love. How can you positively interact with someone or solve problems without being aware of who they are and how the world may look through their eyes? How can you listen if you are already projecting your opinion onto them?

Anthony DeMello suggests that awareness may be all you need to heal. He is probably correct. These concepts are particularly relevant to close relationships in context of being in chronic mental/ physical pain.

Get the book The Way to Love by Anthony DeMello

Find out more about David Hanscom MD

Les Aria, PhD Pain Psychologist

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