With special guest Paul Watson.

With its vapid commercialism and unhinged fans, it’s easy to lose faith in modern football.

But venture beyond the major leagues, and you’ll find the freewheeling chaos that once made it great.

They pick drug lords in midfield, blame ghosts for their sex scandals and sell stars for sausage meat.

Dig out your passport for the weirdest stories in world football…

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Drug lord midfielders and strikers sold for sausages: The Upshot v Rest of the World