From Shameful Self-Awareness to Loving Awareness Part 2
Feb 7, 2024
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The podcast discusses the transition from shameful self-awareness to loving awareness, exploring topics such as the unconscious mind, neuroplasticity, cultivating self-understanding, and transforming dislikes into likes. It also delves into the evolution of human social order, the impact of feeling inherently bad, the power of embracing the present moment, the concept of wise loving grandma, and the importance of self-acceptance and neuroplasticity.
49:25
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Quick takeaways
Loving self-awareness involves recognizing that every part of ourselves is seeking love and warmth, even if our actions may hurt others.
To create lasting change, we need to focus on self-compassion, curiosity, and embracing the present moment.
Deep dives
Loving Self-Awareness and Shameful Self-Awareness
Loving self-awareness and shameful self-awareness are two different states of consciousness. In shameful self-awareness, we are trapped in patterns of self-hate and shame, believing that we are inherently bad. This perspective is often influenced by societal and religious ideas that humans are born sinful. On the other hand, loving self-awareness is about recognizing that every part of ourselves is seeking love, warmth, and belonging. It is about understanding that all our actions, even the ones that may hurt others, are driven by an unconscious desire to access love. By embracing self-understanding and the acceptance of the present moment, we can begin to cultivate loving self-awareness and create change in our lives.
The Impact of Gossip and the Rise of Religion
In smaller tribal communities, gossip evolved as a tool to maintain social order and transparency. Everyone within the tribe knew everything about each other, cultivating a sense of belonging and incentivizing beneficial behaviors. However, with the emergence of larger cities and anonymity, gossip became impractical as a social regulating mechanism. To fill this gap, the concept of a monotheistic God arose, replacing gossip as a way to maintain social order. Religion also propagated the belief that humans are inherently bad and need external rules and regulations to be good. This internalized shame and self-judgment have led many individuals to hide their true selves, afraid of being exposed as inherently flawed. However, recent scientific evidence shows that humans are wired for warmth, kindness, and reciprocity, challenging the notion of inherent badness.
Escaping Neural Gridlock and Embracing Change
To create lasting change, we need to understand the mechanisms underlying neural gridlock and neuroplasticity. Neural gridlock occurs when shame becomes deeply ingrained in our neural pathways, making it difficult to experience anything but shame. However, by creating an environment of warmth and unconditional acceptance, we can release this gridlock and open ourselves to neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt based on what we practice and repeat. By practicing self-compassion, embracing curiosity, and focusing on the present moment, we can unlock the potential for change in our brains and nervous systems. Self-understanding, rather than self-intellectualization, is key to this process, as it involves tuning into our bodies and cultivating curiosity about our experiences and desires.
The Power of What Instead of Why
By shifting our focus from asking 'why' to asking 'what', we can further develop self-understanding and facilitate change. 'Why' tends to keep us trapped in our heads, searching for singular causes or origins, which may not exist in the complex nature of the universe. 'What', on the other hand, embraces curiosity and open-ended exploration. It allows us to acknowledge the effects and influences in our lives and make choices based on the information available to us. By shifting to a mindset of 'what', we can release rigid patterns, experience self-understanding, and create a space for change to occur.
In today's episode, I explore what loving self-awareness is and offer you a framework for implementing it in your life.
I also discuss the unconscious mind, neuroplasticity, the conditions that change needs, how to cultivate deeper self-understanding, the energetic frequency associated with actions and thoughts, and transforming your dislikes into likes.
This conversation is the second part of a two-part series and offers an in-depth perspective on how to go from shameful self-awareness and stuckness to loving self-awareness and internal fulfilment.
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