Productive Flourishing Podcast 125: How to Deal with the Guilt of Getting What You Want with Toku McCree
Toku McCree joins Charlie to jam about what they’ve experienced in themselves and their clients, and how to move through the guilt of getting what you want to achieve success.
Key Takeaways:
[2:16] - Obsession with tactics and doing and how it stifles their business and personal growth. Often times when people reach a certain level of success and plateau, they are not fundamentally focusing on what’s going to make the biggest difference.
[3:25] - When you get to the top 10% - 25%, tactics only go so far. Leadership relies very heavily on who you are as a person, rather than tweaking the tech side of things.
[5:20] - To make the significant change, the way in which you actually make decisions, actually respond to things, and actually see the world, have to reflect the reality that’s right in front of you. Reflective equilibrium: if our experience of the world is different from our theory about the world, we have to switch something - normally we change our theories to fit the world.
[7:33] - Toku speaks about what happens when the world shifts so dramatically with some people’s success.
[10:01] - So many people get stuck at an 8 out of 10 in life. But the work in those last two levels is where the real challenge lies. Your focus begins to shift inward to figure out how you need to grow and be in the world to achieve a higher level of success.
[14:34] - In what way is a more virtuous man happy? This question posed by the Greeks is relevant to this topic as we think about what the payout is. Will you have to sacrifice something to gain the success you want, whether it be personal or business? Toku suggests the top 1% or 2% have mastered the balance between the tactics and the work on being, which aids in their success.
[21:31] - Charlie and Toku talk about the benefits of having a coach or a group of people that can help dig deeper than the tactics and get into the being.
[22:55] - Toku poses the question: Are you willing to experience the guilt of getting what you want? To peak the plateau, you may have to change the groups you associate with and the kind of person you think you are. Ultimately, you get to decide what group you want to belong to, and who you want to be.
[28:53] - The thing you have the least amount of control over is the groups you’re born into, but the thing you have the most control over is the groups you belong to. It is hard work to live a virtuous life.
[32:22] - Toku shares his own story about the being piece.
[36:15] - Three-fold question: 1) Why do you want your business to grow a certain way? 2) In what ways do you want to pursue your personal growth? 3) How can you do this without there being a competition or a compromise?
[39:58] - At a certain point in your life, your growth may not be accelerating at the same pace. It might be a 10-15% improvement every year, and that is just fine. Embrace the plateau.
[46:45] - If you’re willing to sacrifice your ordinary excellence for something extraordinary, and become a beginner again, you can be in a place of being in continual wonder and amazement of what life can give to you. We have to learn how to fall in love with a process over and over again.
[48:42] - Toku’s challenge: For one week, try to make all your decisions based upon the question: “In this moment, what would bring me joy?” Lean into the discomfort of choosing joy and accepting the guilt that may follow.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Creative Giant Campfire Facebook Group
The Hero With a Thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell
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