Let me start today’s episode by saying loud and clear: EVERYONE has setbacks and obstacles in their career. NO ONE has a perfectly linear journey, where they leave each job at the height of achievement, only to land in an even better job – no gaps in employment, no difficult bosses or coworkers, no layoffs or RIFs, no personal or family issues requiring extended time off work.

For me, it started early. I completed my undergraduate degree in December and started working as the director of the Sims Baldwin Family Music Center right away. I trained in Tampa, then started working in Tallahassee.

Only a few months later, the doctors gave my mom three weeks to live. I took leave of my new job to be at her side in St. Petersburg, during which time my boss gave my job to someone else without notifying me.

After I buried my mom in June of that year, I returned to no job. Fortunately, one of the parents of my music students knew about an opening at a church in Tallahassee for a camp music director – which turned out to be one of the most fun jobs I’ve ever had.

I got a public-school music teaching position that fall, which I held for three years. I left to get married and move for my husband’s work. I ended up selling Amway makeup and hostessing at an airport hotel restaurant.

Then there was my three years with the now defunct Eckerd Drug Company as an Area Training Coordinator – they realigned the district and I would have had to move to Macon, Georgia to keep my job. My husband and I looked into the possibilities for him, but ultimately decided to stay in Columbus, Georgia and I would look for another job.

I could go on with a few more, but hopefully you can see that my career path has been anything but simple and straightforward.

The question becomes: What do you do when the inevitable happens? I want to break this down into actions you can take, and the mindset you’ll need to navigate.

Mindset

Mindset is everything when you are dealing with a career setback or obstacle. Think of it this way: The thing that happens to you is just a thing that happens – it’s neutral until you have a thought about it.

Here’s an example from clients I’ve worked with who have been laid off:

With the exact same set of circumstances, one client will think:

“This is terrible. I’ll never get another job. I’m going to go broke and lose my home.”

Another client will think:

“I’ve been thinking about leaving for so long – I’m actually glad this happened. I have a severance package so I can take my time to find just the right position.”

You can probably imagine the difference in how these two people would move forward from their job loss – and the results they would get.

Here then are my recommendations for minding your mind during this period:

#1 – Give yourself a day or two to grieve and process.

Acknowledge the setback and reflect on what happened. Accept responsibility for any role you played in what happened and let go of that which was out of your control. Spend time thinking about what you can learn from this experience.

#2 – Think about what you want next.

If you have lost your job, give some serious thought to what you want your next move to be. Many people take a knee-jerk approach to this – jumping back into the job market without thinking about what they really want and need. This often leads to more of the same.

Let’s say the setback was a promotion you didn’t get, or a project you weren’t asked to lead. Is this a sign that the handwriting is on the wall at your current employer – do you need to start looking elsewhere? Or is this an opportunity for you to gain additional skills or experience so you’ll be more competitive next time around?

This is also an opportunity to reassess your goals – just make sure your work in this area is coming from a positive, forward-focused mindset, rather than a reactive, hurt mindset.

#3 – Cultivate a strong positive belief in yourself and your future.

You don’t have to become a delusional hyper-optimist, but neither do you have to be Eeyore. Here are a couple of tools for this:

-Focus on what you KNOW you do exceptionally well. This might mean directing your focus away from the huge mistake you just made to how good your sales numbers were last quarter – or focusing on your outstanding job performance rather than how you lost your job.

-Be a realist. If you just lost your job, but have never lost a job before, tell yourself that truth. If you blew a presentation for the first time ever, tell yourself that truth. Don’t turn this into an indictment on your entire career.

-Ladder your thoughts. If you just had a terrible performance review, rather than telling yourself you’re a terrible employee/person/human, tell yourself you can improve on the area your boss was most concerned about. Instead of “I’m really bad at managing my employees,” you might tell yourself “I can learn how to be a better manager.”

Action Steps

Next, let’s talk about steps you can take to overcome the setback or obstacle you’ve just faced. Of course, this is very dependent on exactly what you’ve just been through, but here are some general steps:

#1 – Stay persistent.

This is not the time to wallflower it or phone it in – keep pushing forward in your career goals. If, after some self-assessment you’ve decided to revise your goals, then get busy achieving them.

#2 – Stay adaptable.

If circumstances at your work are in a state of constant change and turmoil, the ability to adapt is crucial for moving forward. The challenge is in knowing when it is time to cut bait – this is something only you can decide for yourself.

#3 – Seek support.

Lean on your mentor(s), significant others, and a career coach if possible. Keep in mind that continuing to talk about the problem will only further solidify the problem. Maintain a focus on finding solutions.

Most importantly – don’t isolate yourself at this time. You need to be around people who believe in you and will support you – and help you through.

#4 – Up your self-care game.

This is a time for you to take extra good care of yourself. If you are out of work, do you have the resources for a vacation – perhaps an extended one you’ve never had time for before? Is there a hobby you’d like to cultivate during this time?

If the setback is of the smaller variety, let’s say your boss just raked you over the coals for your performance on a recent project, can you schedule a day at the spa or a day hiking in the woods? What does restoration and renewal mean to you? DO IT.

#5 – Decide what your story will be.

You have a choice: You can be a victim in your story, or you can be the hero. Decide what you will tell people – including future employers. There could very well be a great behavioral interview answer in how you navigated this situation and what you learned from it.

I love what one of my previous coaches used to say: “We’re all delusional. We might as well be delusional in our own favor.”

#6 – Celebrate progress.

This is always important – and never more so than when there’s been a setback. No matter how small, celebrate your wins – it will help boost your confidence and motivation.

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2

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Episode 8: Philip Rosedale (Update)

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