Tiny Leaps, Big Changes 582 - Two Unique Ways to Build Self-Confidence
In this episode, we look at 2 concrete things you can do today to start building your self-confidence.
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Part 1: Presenting the Problem
So much of our lives and our ability to take consistent action comes down to our levels of self-confidence.
If we have it, we feel more comfortable taking certain actions, trying new things, and going for what we want. This relationship to ourselves leads to more successes which leads to an increased level of self-confidence.
If we don't have it, we are less likely to take action. That reduced level of action leads to fewer successes which leads to decreased levels of self-confidence. Or at the very least, reduce the overall list of successes you can pull from to create that self-confidence.
Part 2: Diving Deeper
Unfortunately building self-confidence can be challenging. Ultimately confidence comes through taking action and achieving success. Building a history and building a sense of trust with yourself.
But it's a catch 22. If you want to build self-confidence you need to take action, but if you want to take action you need to have self-confidence.
So what can you do?
Part 3: The Solution
Well if you find yourself in this catch 22 situation then you need to find a workaround. So let's look at what's required here.
Self-confidence is ultimately about trust. If you trust yourself and your ability to follow-through on things you will have a higher degree of self-confidence and therefore take more actions. It will also affect you less when you screw up.
Well the first unique approach would be to re-frame your history.
One easy way to do that is simply to start writing down all of the successes and good things from our day. It's easy, at the end of the day start creating an "I Did It" list which just collects all of the successes you had. All of the good things you do.
Don't worry about the failures or the areas of improvement, let those die with history. Let yourself focus on the wins. Doing this can help shift the frame you look at things from and can provide just enough trust in yourself to start taking action.
The second really unique way of building trust is to borrow it. Let's look at the financial industry as an example. If you need to borrow money to buy a house or go to school or whatever else. If you don't have a high enough credit score or don't make enough money you can often still get access to the loan by bringing on a co-signer. A co-signer is a way for the lender to increase their confidence that they will get their money back.
If you are stuck in a catch 22 where you don't have enough self-confidence to take action then find yourself a cosigner.
In this case a co-signer would be someone willing to help keep you on track, hold you accountable and, if needed...clean up any messes you make.
So it's a little more than an accountability partner and will require someone you truly trust since you can't trust yourself.