Downplaying Sexual Abuse, and Writing to a Judge to Request Leniency: When Good Intentions Go Very, Very Wrong (232)

This episode of the Orthodox Conundrum discusses sexual abuse and child sexual abuse material. Listener discretion is advised.

Sexual abuse is a problem everywhere, and the Orthodox community is no exception. While there unquestionably is more awareness of the problem today than there was in the past, there is still a long way to go before we can be proud of our record.

One of the ongoing and very upsetting issues is when people in power cover up and downplay sexual abuse perpetrated by people whom they know. While there are those who do this for sinister or selfish reasons, many rabbis, doctors, and other people in positions of authority are acting out of ignorance rather than out of malice. They genuinely think that they’re doing the right thing - and they don’t realize the potentially traumatic consequences of their actions.

Today I will be speaking about this latter kind of coverup, and the parallel phenomenon of community leaders writing letters to judges on behalf of convicted sex offenders to request leniency in sentencing. These letters very often fully acknowledge the heinous crimes that the abuser perpetrated - but they also say the positive aspects of the abuser’s life that they hope will be taken into consideration, whether it’s his charitable giving, minyan attendance, doing chesed for the community, or whatever other good qualities that, the writers hope, will potentially mitigate a harsh prison sentence.

Again: these writers usually mean well and are trying to do the right thing - but they likely don’t understand that they’re acting in ways that are potentially very damaging. This is a difficult but very important topic, and I was honored to host attorney Rahel Bayar, victims’ advocate Asher Lovy, and psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Singer to discuss what’s happening, why it matters, and what should be done about it moving forward.

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