Have You Seen My Childhood?

Children who are abused, sex trafficked, and controlled are easiest recognized by those who have survived it.

This view into my childhood is in response to numerous concerned non-victims asking what it looked like with intent of learning to better recognize abused children whose silent pleas for help otherwise go unheard.

My eyes were already exhibiting trauma by the time I was 4.  I knew that my father’s camera indicated sexual activity, and my eyes were wide open trying to see what painful trauma might be approaching as he snapped the above photo.

This defense mechanism develops naturally with abuse, resulting in 44x visual acuity which is akin to having eyes in the back of the head.

With eyes wide open, whites of eyes are prevalent, blink response is disrupted, while pupils often dilate.

Horrifically abused children are often recruited by the military or for professional sports because their 44x visual acuity is an extreme advantage for making a shot with pin point accuracy.  

Additionally, the brain automatically shuts down neuron pathways around trauma, repressing it deep into the subconscious so the rest of the mind can develop or function normally. When abuse is repetitive such as occurred with my father’s sexual abuse, the part of my mind conditioned to deal with that particular trauma would trigger open to deal with it again and again as needed. This dissociative extreme is professionally defined as ‘the mind’s sane defense to trauma too horrible to comprehend’.

It never occurred to me to talk about my father’s sexual abuse when it wasn’t happening, since that memory was again repressed deep into the dark corners of my mind. If someone has asked me if I was being “abused” I could not have related to the concept because my whole world was saturated in it to the point where my experience seemed “normal”.

Repressed Memory is not filed under “Abuse” in the brain, and therefore abused children will not respond to questions such as “are you being abused?”

As more and more compartments occur in the brain repressing memory of varying traumas such as sexual assault, sex trafficking, pornography, occultism, etc., more and more conscious thought is lost. With neuron pathways shut down, there is no inner-communication within the mind- no ability to think with any continuity of thought. With no capacity for inner-communication or continuity of thought, there is no capacity for awareness of time.

With no concept of time, there is no concept of distance. Geography is often distorted, as is spatial awareness. Abused children rarely know right from left, the time of day, what day or year it is, and may not be appropriately dressed for temperature.

Since one compartment does not know what the other is doing, the brain does not register exhaustion. Heightened endurance results, which may appear as hyper-activity or even signal sleep deprivation. When sleep deprivation is deliberately imposed on top of that, the brain stays exhausted from lack of sleep while the body knows no limits!

Heightened endurance may appear as hyper-activity.

Sleep, food, and water deprivation are components of MK Ultra’s scientific formula as each starves the brain of health in its own way, further heightening suggestibility.

Our brains photographically record events surrounding trauma. It is why when you hear “Kennedy Assassination” you see the bullet hitting his head, or when you hear “9-11” you see the plane flying into the twin towers. Both of these events were deliberately enhanced by the media’s repetition of that trauma, and repetition is the most basic form of mind control.

This photographic mechanism is how mind control programming occurs.  The CIA thought what better place to store government secrets than in the brain of someone who cannot think to bring photographically recorded pro