Reweaving Kinship & Trust in Our Teams with Beth Tener

Conflict avoidance isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a survival strategy in the face of manufactured scarcity. Of course, there is abundant potential for leadership, wisdom, and trust. And yet, living in hierarchies, we perceive a scarcity of leadership. With expert-driven learning, we perceive a scarcity of wisdom. With separation culture, we perceive a scarcity of trustworthiness. When we don’t trust that we'll be cared for, of course, we act in self-preservation rather than collaboration. Of course, we avoid talking about our disagreements and differences. And yet, as Beth Tener shares in my most recent episode of Conflict Decoded, to address the dire social and environmental challenges we face, we must reweave our collaborative kinship networks and trust in our teams. In this episode, she offers practical guidance to teach us how. In this week’s episode of Conflict Decoded, Beth Tener talks about how the rigidity and stuckness we often experience in our relationships arise from a deeply-rooted sense of fear and insecurity. Stemming from dominant culture’s pervasive individualism and the breakdown of kinship bonds. Conflict avoidance isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a survival strategy in the face of manufactured scarcity. When we don’t trust that we'll be cared for, of course, we act in self-preservation rather than collaboration. Of course, we avoid talking about our disagreements and differences. And yet, as Beth shares, to address our dire social and environmental challenges, we must reweave our collaborative networks and rebuild deep friendships. The breakdown of relationships gave rise to most of our current problems, so to repair the world, we must also repair our network of relationships. Key Topics Discussed: 1. Navigating Rigidity & Systemic Stuckness Beth shares how modern systems can become rigid and stuck due to fear, trauma, and scarcity mindsets. She offers strategies to help organizations embrace flexibility and navigate complexity through collaborative problem-solving. 2. Collaborative Leadership & Co-creation Beth explains the shift from individualism to collaborative networks, emphasizing that real change happens through collective efforts. She highlights the importance of designing systems that foster trust and connection within teams and organizations. 3. Building Trust & Social Connectivity in Teams Trust is the foundation of effective team collaboration. Beth discusses the need to build kinship networks and create environments where deep relationships thrive, enabling teams to be more resilient and creative in the face of challenges. 5. Transforming Conflict Through Open Dialogue Beth offers practical tips for conflict resolution by normalizing open conversations and creating spaces where difficult topics can be addressed safely. She explains how conflict avoidance often stems from trauma and highlights the importance of handling conflict with compassion and intentionality. 6. Designing for Connection in Meetings & Gatherings Beth shares her insights on designing meetings that foster human connection rather than just being transactional. By focusing on relational aspects, organizations can create more meaningful and productive interactions that build collaborative leadership. 7. Managing Polarities in Leadership In this episode, Beth introduces the concept of polarity management—the balance between rigidity and responsiveness. She explains how navigating these polarities can help teams depersonalize conflict and embrace both structure and flexibility when necessary. 8. Prioritizing Time Together for Team Success Beth underscores the value of investing time in building relationships through retreats and extended team gatherings. She encourages organizations to create spaces that allow for deep collaboration, which leads to long-term success. 9. Kinship Networks & Community Building Drawing from indigenous practices, Beth highlights the importance of kinship networks and community building. These networks provide emotional support, foster resilience, and are essential in helping individuals and teams navigate through organizational challenges. About Beth Tener: Beth Tener is the founder of Kinship Hub, a platform dedicated to amplifying the power of community through collaborative leadership and trust-building. She is also the host of the "Living Love" podcast, which explores themes such as belonging, social change, and community building. Beth offers consulting, facilitation, and training for organizations looking to enhance team collaboration and build stronger, more connected structures. Resources Mentioned: Kinship Hub Living Love Podcast Sea Change Conference (focused on arts, healing, and social change) New Directions Collaborative (consulting for organizational change)