We’ve all been there: Our child is refusing to do something that, to us, seems super reasonable. Do we offer them a reward to get them to cooperate? Where is the line between bribery and rewarding a child? Will we ruin them?

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Dr. Andy Kahn back to the show. Dr. Andy is a licensed psychologist and Understood’s associate director of behavior change and expertise. He’s also the host of the podcast Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn.

Tune in to get Andy’s expert advice about bribes and rewards.

Related resources

• What are positive behavioral interventions and supports (PBIS)?
• 7 ideas for using rewards and consequences
• The power of motivation for kids who learn and think differently
• How to give praise that builds kids’ self-esteem
• “I’m not yelling—you’re yelling!” Tips for staying calm when kids act out

Timestamps 

(1:22) The difference between a bribe and a reward

(5:08) Pairing verbal praise with reinforcement

(8:31) How close to the behavior should the reward be

(16:03) Money as a reward

(21:08) Behavior charts and LTDs

(25:14) Helping kids change behaviors

For a transcript and more resources, visit the In It page at Understood.org

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Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give