The Longing Lab Psychologist Nirit Soffer-Dudek explains maladaptive daydreaming, where fantasy becomes disabling
Episode 32 Psychologist Nirit Soffer-Dudek explains maladaptive daydreaming, a clinical phenomenon where fantasy becomes a highly disabling and distressing addiction. She discusses fuels, triggers, treatments and why/how it’s often misdiagnosed.
Nirit Soffer-Dudek, PhD is an associate professor at the Department of Psychology at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, and a licensed clinical psychologist. Her research focuses on the clinical and personality correlates of consciousness states including dissociative states, nocturnal dreaming, and daydreaming. Prof. Soffer-Dudek is also a past president of the International Society for Maladaptive Daydreaming (ISMD) and the scientific director of the International Consortium for Maladaptive Daydreaming Research (ICMDR).
In this episode, (in order) we talked about:
*What is maladaptive daydreaming and how it’s similar to an addiction (3:45)
*Why clinical psychologist and professor Eli Somer coined the term maladaptive daydreaming (MDD) to describe what many researchers had previously described as the personality trait of “fantasy proneness” (11:00)
*How MDD impacts a person’s ability to function in daily life (13:45)
*Literature and movies where MDD was illustrated before it was formerly coined (15:00)
*Fuel and triggers for MDD (22:00)
*Disorders people with MDD have usually been diagnosed as having have (also or instead) (26:30)
*Why, for people experiencing MDD, daydreaming is an itch you have to scratch (30:00)
*The difference between limerence and MDD (32:00)
*How MDD is different from PTSD that involves flashbacks (38:00)
*Common themes in MDD daydreams: idealized self, a sense of being wanted and taken care of, and elaborate sexual narratives (40:30)
*Therapeutic techniques that help: Self-monitoring, practicing mindfulness, and investing in one’s real life (42:00)
Quotes
“So, just imagine that you had this ability to watch TV all the time. You had Netflix in your head. It would be very difficult not to use it if you're not really interested in what's going on around you, or what's going on around you is causing you some anxiety. You have this internal button that you can press. Some people do press it actively, and some people say that it just comes to them without even actively trying to do it.”
“They feel shame, they feel guilt, they feel they can't achieve their goals. They feel so attached to their characters. It embarrasses them. They feel like they can't necessarily develop other meaningful relationships because they're too attached to these characters.”
“One of our studies showed that 70% of the people we interviewed who have maladaptive daydreaming also met criteria for ADHD, most of them the inattention only type.”
“It's not just a distraction. It’s not just imagining how you'll talk to your boss tomorrow about giving you too many shifts. It's something which is very creative. It's really deep in terms of the storylines. It's very intricate and fanciful, and people can really get into it for hours and hours.”
“Limerence doesn't have to be all about daydreaming. And maladaptive daydreaming doesn't have to be about an infatuation.”
“Among people who are trauma survivors that have maladaptive daydreaming, sometimes their daydreams are about trauma, but not necessarily the trauma that they had. And they're not necessarily in the same role or position that they were. For example, they could be perpetrators, they could be rescued.”
“It’s a normal phenomenon that has to be, not eradicated completely, but kind of mitigated back to its normal size, instead of being blown up and replacing your actual lif