#40 — Heather & Doug Boneparth: Managing Money Together in a Relationship

Our guests this episode are Heather and Doug Boneparth — co-authors of the book Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team. Doug is the founder of Bone Fide Wealth in New York City and serves on the advisory councils for CNBC and Investopedia. Heather is a lawyer-turned-financial-writer, Bone Fide Wealth’s Director of Business and Legal Affairs and a rising voice at the intersection of love, money and family.

In this conversation, Dave sits down with Heather and Doug to explore how couples can navigate money as a team — from shifting income dynamics and caregiving to power, communication, and the invisible labour that often goes unrecognized. They share why they wrote Money Together and why strong financial partnerships aren’t built with spreadsheets, but with trust, curiosity, and shared values.

Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, newly partnered, or just want to understand how money and relationships intersect, this episode is packed with thoughtful insights and practical takeaways.

Show Notes

(00:00) Intro & Disclaimer

(00:55) Intro to Heather & Doug Boneparth

(03:15) Why They Wrote “Money Together”

(07:22) How Power and Income Shift Relationship Dynamics

(09:13) Caregiving is a Real Economic Contribution

(14:26) The Breaking Point That Forced Change

(17:08) Division of Labour and How to Truly Create Space for Your Partner

(21:57) How to Talk About Money as a Team

(24:27) Start with Money Wins, Not with Spreadsheets

(27:42) Both Members of a Couple Need to Understand Their Finances

(29:04) Managing Your Finances Together is an Ongoing Activity

(30:12) Teaching Kids Values, Not Financial Math

(32:58) Money is Finite

(35:36) Money, Divorce and Difficult Conversations

(37:43) Growth Requires Discomfort & Curiosity

(39:02) Strong Couples Are Resilient to Whatever Life Throws at Them

(40:38) Conclusion