Ep 3: Understanding our Partners with Dr Emma Svanberg

I'm joined by Clinical Psychologist Dr Emma Svanberg dremmasvanberg.com and Parent Infant Psychotherapist Benedicta Bywater benedictabywater.com 

Summary

This conversation delves into the complexities of parenting, emphasizing the importance of shared values between partners, the navigation of differing parenting styles, and the emotional dynamics that arise in family life. The speakers discuss the significance of understanding individual backgrounds and experiences, referred to as 'maps', and how these influence parenting decisions. They explore the role of societal expectations, gender dynamics, and the impact of trauma on parenting. The discussion highlights the necessity of open communication, emotional awareness, and the acceptance of discord as a natural part of family life.

Takeaways

Sharing parenting values is crucial for effective co-parenting.
Understanding individual parenting maps can help navigate differences.
The 'troll' analogy helps externalize conflicts in parenting.
Mundane aspects of parenting often lead to unspoken tensions.
Gender roles significantly impact parenting dynamics.
Emotional awareness is key for both parents.
Defensiveness can hinder effective communication in parenting.
Societal expectations create additional pressures on parents.
Understanding trauma can help parents navigate their children's experiences.
Discord in family life is normal and can be healthy.

Chapters

00:00 Parenting Disruptors: Challenging Norms
03:28 The Importance of Shared Parenting Values
06:09 Navigating Parenting Differences
08:28 Understanding Individual Maps in Parenting
11:09 The Role of Gender in Parenting Dynamics
14:01 Externalizing Conflicts: The Troll Analogy
16:52 Emotional Underpinnings of Parenting Conflicts
19:02 The Need for Deeper Conversations
21:39 Conclusion and Reflections on Parenting
28:38 Understanding Emotional Toolkit in Parenting
32:57 Navigating Gender Expectations in Parenting
37:40 The Illusion of Balance in Parenting
43:17 Awareness of Trauma in Parenting
53:49 Finding Meaning in Parenting
56:18 Exploring Parenting for Humans
57:10 Supporting the Podcast and Community Engagement

Keywords

parenting, shared values, co-parenting, emotional awareness, gender roles, trauma, family dynamics, communication, parenting strategies, societal expectations