We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Don’t judge Captain Tom’s daughter’s spa and pool complex til you’ve walked a mile (round the back garden) in her shoes. The Mail’s in-house Carrie Bradshaw Liz Jones meets her divorced ex for a column so embarrassing it cringed spacetime inside out. And a big bank Coutts poor Nigel Farage down to size. It’s a conspiracy!! (Note: it’s not a conspiracy).

Comedian Matt Green and the New Statesman’s Jonn Elledge throw a hot dime to plucky newsgirl Miranda Sawyer to find out the word on the street.

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Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Produced by Sophie Black. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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