Stress Management to Prevent Burnout with Aditi Ramchandani, Emotional Wellness Speaker and Coach

Stress Management to Prevent Burnout with Speaker and Coach, Aditi Ramchandani

Full Transcript Below

Jenn DeWall:

It’s Jenn DeWall. And in this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, I sat down and connected with burnout thought leader, Emotional Wellness Speaker and Coach, Aditi Ramchandani. And for those that might be new to Aditi, oh my gosh, you will love her. She gives working professionals the tools to prevent burnout and create the personal success and happiness that they desire. Aditi became an Emotional Wellness Speaker and a coach after years of battling with her own depression, burnout, and a half-paralyzed face at age 20 due to stress. It is her personal mission to equip others with the wellness tools that they were never taught in school. I hope you enjoy today’s podcast. Aditi sat down and shared tips and techniques for how we as leaders and overcome and manage burnout.

Meet Aditi Ramchandani, Emotional Wellness Speaker

Jenn DeWall:

Hi Everyone, it’s Jenn DeWall. And on this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, I am so excited to talk about the subject of burning or burning burnout. Maybe that should be a sign that I am burned out. I can’t even say the phrase, but we’re so excited to have Aditi with us today. She is someone that you may not know. So I’m going to have her introduce herself to you, but she’s an Emotional Wellness Speaker, and she’s a coach, and she is going to be giving us tips, techniques, and insights on how we can manage burnout, which is something that, Oh my gosh, I feel like so many of us are going through Aditi, Thank you so much for joining us today on the podcast, The Leadership Habit, please go ahead and tell our audience a little bit about you.

Aditi Ramchandani:

Awesome. Thank you, Jenn, so much for having me here. Hello everyone. My name is Aditi, and as Jenn mentioned, I’m an Emotional Wellness Speaker and Coach. Where my journey started was when I was 20 years old, I had a half-paralyzed face. You heard that right. Like literally the right side of my face was stopped working my eye, wasn’t blinking. I couldn’t use the right side of my nose, and my mouth could not even grasp around a glass of water to take a sip. I had to use a straw, and this happened while I was in college. So I went to the emergency room, and the doctors told me that this happened due to stress. That was the first time that I got to realize how our internal state can actually affect our outer state, whether that’s our body or our external circumstances in our life. And that’s really where my journey started.

My journey started with starting to just some self-discovery. Like, what is stress? Why does it happen? How do we struggle with it? What can I do about it? I had taken my first stress management class in college after that. And I was laughing because I would have never taken that class if it wasn’t for this crisis. And that’s what I’m really passionate about is I don’t want people to have to wait until they’re in a crisis to start paying attention to their stress levels. So I love doing this work, and I got certified as a life coach, as a health coach. And now I’m doing my yoga teacher training. So really excited to be able to bring all of these fundamentals together. And another thing I love to do is I feel that the idea of stress management can kind of seem boring, right? It’s like, ah, another thing I got to learn, I got to go to school for stress that I have to learn about. It’s exactly like you put it— my clients are always like, I don’t have time for another thing on my to-do list. So I really strive to make it fun. Make it joyful, make it not this serious thing, but something that you’re a good thing that you’re adding to your life. So that is a little bit of my background story.

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for sharing that. And it’s so important. I was even teaching or leading a webinar this morning, and I just asked the, you know, the random question, because the question, because we were talking about culture, I’m like, how many of you are burnt out right now in so many yeses dropped into the chat. And I think right now we again see it more than what we have typically been as a result, obviously of the pandemic, but I know we’ll go into it, and we’ll talk about that. But I want to start with one of the questions that you posed during our pre-talk, which wow. It just hit me and thinking, how do I want to show up? And I want you to pose that same question to our podcast audience. I don’t want to do the reveal because it’s not my question, but when you asked it to me, I was like, yeah, I probably need to manage my burnout in a different way.

Analyzing Your Stress Levels

Aditi Ramchandani:

Yeah. So as you’re listening to this, I want you to think about the last 24 hours that you just experienced in your life. And I just want you to scan it. What were you doing? What were you feeling? What was going on for you in these last 24 hours? Were you stressed? Was stress a part of those 24 hours? And my question I pose to you is, do you want stress to be the last memory of your life? Do you want stress to be the last memory of your life? I asked myself this question when my cousin passed away a year ago on my birthday, and it was very unexpected. And a lot of you may have experienced some sort of loss in this past year, whether through someone you directly knew or through an acquaintance, and you start really thinking about man, what am I living for?

Because oftentimes, we’re chasing after something, we’re going after some sort of goal or achievement, and we’re not really living our life right at this moment. And we find that you know, we don’t know when our time is. We don’t know when we leave this planet. And did you live these last 24 hours like you would have your last? That’s the question I started asking myself after my cousin had passed away because so many of us are looking towards the future of what we’re going to do later. But what about right now? How can we live in this moment? So I really want you to ask yourself that question and see, how did you live these last 24 hours? Were you stressed? And is that how you want your last 24 hours to be, my gosh?

Jenn DeWall:

The answer is always no! You know, it’s so funny. We know that, and you and I talked last week, and I just, that question is really powerful because I think it brings out a level of accountability where we have to recognize that the first place and really, you know, or one of the first places is it starts with us and saying, I don’t want that for my last 24 hours. I don’t want to show up. If I talk about myself personally, like when I’m burned out, I am not probably as fun in public. Because I’m just drained of the tasks that might be really simple, and any other time looks just so much more daunting and exhausting. I feel like I pick up my phone to intentionally just kinda zone out. And that’s the hard part, too, is feeling like, Oh my gosh, like I teach leadership, but I’m experiencing burnout because I thought I was supposed to have all the tools to get ahead of this. Yet you posed that question. Last week I was very intentional. Rah, rah, rah. And then this week, I’m really thinking about the last 24 hours, and dang it!

Aditi Ramchandani:

Look, me too. I teach this, and I have to continuously ask myself this question because it’s so easy to just get lost in the hustle and bustle of life. Especially when everyone around you is also doing that. So really looking at what you’re doing and what you want to do requires a level of courage for yourself.

What is Burnout?

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh. I need that courage, girl! That’s what we’re going to talk about today. Cause I’m sure there are listeners right now that are like, I am someone who used the word expired this morning. Like that’s a great way to identify burnout. I’m done. So Aditi, what, what is burnout? Like how do you define burnout maybe for someone that just doesn’t know how to identify it for themselves?

Aditi Ramchandani:

Absolutely. I think this is such an important question because I feel like the word burnout is thrown out a lot, and it’s almost become a little bit of that buzzword cliche, like, oh, I’m burnt out, and it’s almost become normal, right? Like, Oh, we’re just all burnt out. And what burnout really is, is when you have chronic stress. So chronic stress is essentially heavy stress that has been ongoing for a long time. So it becomes chronic stress. So you have chronic stress, and it’s not managed well. And that’s when it starts to become burnout. So everyone has stress, right? We can’t run away from it. We can’t avoid it. Stress is a part of the human experience, but when you continuously have stress over time, and you don’t do anything about it, you don’t manage it. That’s when it becomes burnout. For example, when I had Bell’s palsy, that’s what it was called. When I had the half-paralyzed face, I was very stressed out in my personal life, and I wasn’t doing anything about it. I was just hoping it would go away. And oftentimes, we do that. We just kind of hope, you know, time will heal. We hope if we put it under the rug, you know it’ll go away. But unfortunately, we’re seeing that many times it’s not going away. And it is really taking an impact on our health and our happiness.

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh. Yes. And I relate to that. When I think about my own, my MS diagnosis came during probably one of the worst either. I mean, I will say like mental health, like in terms of challenging times of my life as a result of stress and not to say that that’s like the origin of it, but it’s so interesting. Cause I know that as having MS, I have to be very mindful of how I manage stress because it will have an impact on my body. Why do you think that burnout is so high right now? Why do you think people were throwing up yeses in the chatbox, throwing out words like I’ve expired. I’m tapped out. I don’t know. I can’t do it anymore. Why do you think it’s so high right now?

We Need Tools for Stress Management Now

Aditi Ramchandani:

Yeah. Well, it’s interesting. I found out through some research that I was doing that 76% of professionals are experiencing some level of burnout. Now, just think about that for a second. Literally, if stress is showing up in your life, that much it affects the way you show up in life. It shows it affects the way you take action. It affects the results that you get. So if 76% of the working population is burnt out, we’re producing from that space. So from a very depleted empty police is where we are producing life, creating results, creating programs, whatever that may be for you. And why is it so high right now? I truly believe it’s because we don’t have the tools to manage stress. We haven’t been taught them in school. We haven’t been taught them really at the workplace. Although now that’s starting to change, I truly believe that we don’t have the tools to manage stress.

We don’t know how to do it or what to do, and we don’t want to learn another thing. So there are many layers to it. And I think with the pandemic and everything going on, we’ve had to wear multiple hats that we didn’t have to go to before. And it’s kind of this shock to the system where we don’t know how to manage these new responsibilities, right? Some people have kids at home. Some people have elderly. They have to care for now. There are just so many new things that we have to do that weren’t part of our schedule before the uncertainty, the fear, all of that, that is added onto it. The time pressures, a lot of people’s jobs have changed. And the overwhelming workload a lot of people are getting laid off, which is also putting a lot of pressure on the people who still have work to do.

So. I just feel like the combination of all of these things is really contributing to people not being able to fully function at their highest capacity. And now that everyone’s working from home, there’s that blurred line, like when do you turn off, how do you turn off what is appropriate? Right? And it’s all these unanswered questions in itself that also creates more burnout. And the racing mind, the fear, the loss that’s happening, it’s just a lot to handle. So I think the burnout is so high right now is because we just have a lot of things we’re now needing to work with and just not having the tools on how to handle it.

Jenn DeWall:

I love that. And also, you know, from that perspective of just thinking of, no, I thought about this last year, a year ago when we were really forced to slow down and how unsettling that was in the beginning, I think because we were actually forced to kind of acknowledge the things that were working in our lives and weren’t working. And there is this almost pause that I think people had at the beginning of the pandemic where they’re really reflecting. But it’s really interesting to think about how a year later, we’re kind of right back in it. We’ve just adapted to it in a virtual sense of we’re overworking. Maybe we’re over-scheduling ourselves to avoid challenges; we’re maybe not talking about our mental health because we feel like, Oh, it’ll pass or all the, all the answers that you just said. But you know, we had this beautiful window a year ago that I think, again, I myself was like, this is perfect. Like I’m slowing down. And I feel like now I’m just as busy. It’s just all virtual. And why do I keep doing this to myself?

Aditi Ramchandani:

How did I get here again?

Signs of Burnout— What to Look For

Jenn DeWall:

So Aditi, what are the signs of burnout?

Aditi Ramchandani:

So there are signs. It starts with stress which eventually moves into burnout. So even with stress, right, it’s exhaustion, it’s emotional exhaustion, as well as physical exhaustion. It can show up in your moods, feeling depressed, feeling anxious, feeling overwhelmed, feeling withdrawn, not really being engaged with your work, just feeling disinterested or even disengaged at home with family, just feeling withdrawn overall from life being irritable. That’s a common one. And definitely one I’ve been experiencing a lot lately. Feeling irritable and having a short temper. Feeling like passive-aggressive behavior. And this is all normal. This is all something that we all experienced as part of the human experience. So nothing to feel bad about. It’s just something to start paying attention to because I truly believe our bodies are messengers. Our bodies are here to tell us when we are stressed.

So it’s important to pay attention to these kinds of symptoms to be like, Hey, there might be something going on here. And a lot of times, it shows up in our body aches, right? Having headaches, having digestion problems, people don’t actually realize digestion problems are also often related to stress breaking out. I sometimes find when I’m stressed out, I’ll start having pimples on my face—being unable to sleep. Sleep is often affected by stress and burnout and just feeling unmotivated, just not feeling alive. It’s almost like feeling dead inside. I think the word expired that someone had used earlier. It resonates because you’re, you’re kind of just checked out, and you’re like, I just can’t do this anymore. So yeah.

Stress Management is Self-Compassion

Jenn DeWall:

Yeah. It feels that way. And I think, I wonder what role, you know, our own self-talk plays into that because I think on top of, you know, whether it’s, I guess if I go back to myself, it’s like bouncing from all of the different hats of like what I might be wearing and then constantly telling myself, like, you are never getting ahead, Jenn, like you are always behind and that’s just this tremendous pressure. And also these feelings of inadequacy of like, why can’t I just get ahead? Why can’t I, you know, or do it right. Or whatever that is. What’s wrong with me? Just like always the question. How did I get here? And you know, it’s, I wonder how I continue to keep myself there just by that self-talk of saying like, you’re just behind Jenn, you’re behind the guide and look at there is, you know, something else that you missed, or you dropped the ball on, and it’s hard to juggle a lot.

Jenn DeWall:

It really is. Oh my gosh. Okay. So you’re going to give me the remedy, right? We’re going to, and we’re going to talk through some strategies cause I’m excited. I am all ears to be able to hear this and adopt it. And I know again, many of our listeners are, and I really appreciate how you also, you know, normalize how you might show up. Right? We’re not necessarily showing up as our most radiant picture. Perfect style from we’re burnt out, and it’s okay. Like, yes, you might be a little bit shorter. And now when I say, okay, it’s not saying, Oh yeah, it’s totally fine to be a total jerk to people. No, but give yourself some grace and take responsibility for how you show up. You can still apologize, but I love that you normalize that, like they’re not, it’s not who you are. It’s the burnout. That’s also talking for you or responding on your behalf. Like you’re not a bad person, a bad leader, bad insert whatever, your title or rule or how you see yourself as it’s the result of the burnout.

Aditi Ramchandani:

Absolutely. I think a key as we’re moving into what do we do about it is self-compassion is total acceptance of where you are right now. And even if you can’t totally accept it, if you can just have compassion for yourself, I find that when I’m really struggling, even just talking to myself, like since we have that negative self-talk like, how can you talk to yourself in a way that’s nurturing in addition to it, like, I know you’re struggling right now. I know this is really hard for you right now. Putting your hand on your heart and just saying that to yourself can be so nurturing. Like it’s safe to feel this feeling right now because often we’re running away from that burnout because it feels uncomfortable. It feels horrible. Right? So to just be able to acknowledge that, you know, I know you’re really struggling right now, and I’m here for you to having that compassion for yourself because often we’re seeking it, maybe from the external, from outside, maybe even from, you know, popping an Advil or whatever might soothe our pain at that moment.

But what I share is that these short-term fixes and solutions, right? Whether it’s eating or drinking or popping a pill, they are short-term solutions. They’re not going to last a long time. They’re not going to help you ultimately change your relationship with stress, which is what we want to do here because that’s what’s going to help you thrive in the long-term. Stress is not going away, but we can change our relationship with it. And my goal and desire are to help people actually have the natural way to cope with stress rather than relying on external circumstances. I was speaking to somebody who has lived in war zones, and she was talking about, you know, how do you do self-care there? There’s not a yoga studio around the corner. I can’t get a green smoothie down the street— what is self-care when you don’t have those external things.

The Cure for Burnout is Deep Self-Care

Aditi Ramchandani:

And that’s what I really strive to talk about here. And what is the cure to burnout? I believe the cure is self-care, deep self-care, and not the kind of self-care where you’re getting your nails done and going to the spa or, you know, that kind of stuff that we typically think. And I think we think that is because of the marketing industry, right? They’re always trying to sell us something. Oh, you’ll feel better. This is your self-care. But I really want us to go deeper than that. That’s a surface level of self-care, but I want to help you create an integrated self-care practice. Cause I don’t want you to feel like, Oh, I have another thing to add to my list. Which many people feel initially right when we’re doing this work, but integrated self-care practice means that it’s a part of your life. It’s not this external thing, but it’s as normal as brushing your teeth, putting on your pajamas. That self-care is just a part of that routine that you have.

Jenn DeWall:

How do you start that? I love the idea of looking at this as not something that’s like, I’m going to get my nails done. And I feel like even right now I’m like that, then I just have to do it again. You know, it adds like another to do in terms of maintenance. If I would do that, but where do we start to build this? And I love that you call it deep, deep self-care. It’s not like that artificial. We’re getting your hair done, or nails did. It’s really looking within. So, where do we start? But yes, yes, yes. I love all of those things, by the way. I love all of that, but that’s also not the thing. That’s going to get me over my burnout right now. I can say that. I mean, it will make me feel bad. Like what you’d said, it’s gone. It’s that short-term, long-term fix and good, but it’s not necessarily a thing that’s going to pull me out of it to make sure I don’t find myself starting a podcast. How did I get back here again? I know that that won’t work. So, where do we start with that deep self-care practice?

Effective Stress Management Requires Self-Discovery

Aditi Ramchandani:

So this is my favorite part because where it really starts is self-discovery. It’s really getting to know yourself because most people actually don’t know how they feel cared for. So you really want to start by discovering your own personal care style. So, you know, ask yourself what recharges me, what brings me joy? What rejuvenates me? What kind of environment do I thrive in? What kind of environment do I feel relaxed in? Do I feel calm in? So really thinking about what does that looks like for you? Because a lot of us are just really in a routine of our lives that I want you to kind of step out and look at it from above and really think about those moments. And if you don’t know, if you’re like, I have no idea, Aditi, like, I can’t even think of it. I want you to pay attention to your next seven days and see, just notice and observe, where are you doing something that feels relaxing? That feels nice.

I found for myself that when I’m in the house all day, just going outside and just sitting under the sun for 10 minutes really rejuvenates me. So just paying attention to the kind of things that you’re already doing. Because you do, you might already have some things in your routine that are nurturing you, but you didn’t realize it because you can actually just amplify that more. Once you know, you can do it with more intention. So another thing I love to help you with this is the love languages test. Have you ever heard about the five love languages, Jenn?

Jenn DeWall:

Yes. But say to our audience that maybe I’m familiar with that.

Aditi Ramchandani:

So the five love languages. There’s a book. You can look it up. I forget the author’s name, but online, he has a free quiz on his website, which you can take. So you can take the five love languages, languages test and find out for yourself what your own love language is. So this can help you see what makes you feel loved. So, for example, my love language is physical touch, and I actually had no idea this was my love language. I thought it was gifts cause there’s another one that’s like giving and receiving gifts. And there’s one that’s acts of service. So funny enough, I actually have a blanket right here. It’s like a fuzzy blanket. So it’s one of my ways to feel comforted and safe. Because the physical touch makes me feel loved, and finding out those things for yourself can help you create that self-care practice, where you can do things and nurture yourself and find that out.

So it’s really starting with that self-discovery for yourself. And I actually bought this blanket when I was going through a very stressful time, and I was like, I just want to be held by this blanket. And it really helped me in some really rough times. So what is that for you when you find out your own love language? It can just guide you a little bit too. Like if you love receiving gifts, how can you give yourself gifts? If you like quality time is another one. How can you spend more quality time with yourself? Do you know what your love language is?

Jenn DeWall:

I’m gifts, and my husband is acts of service. Yes. So it’s, I think about that, and yeah, they are beautiful way. I never even thought, you know, I think about them obviously for the marriage, but not necessarily for myself. And I feel like for me, like the gift right now would be, Oh my gosh, gift of time to like, not focus on anything, to not be responsible for anything. And to just be, instead of feeling like I need to be on a device or responding to an email or on a zoom call, it would be amazing to just have the gift of time. Whereas this piece, I don’t know if I’m thinking about what those gifts would be like. Maybe it’s an opportunity to go somewhere and sit in a salt cave or something where no, one’s really talking and I just they’re relaxing. That sounds nice.

Aditi Ramchandani:

What a nice gift for yourself.

Jenn DeWall:

So self-discovery, which again is so important. I know that it’s so funny. I, I don’t know if you feel this way, but the Type A in me, you know, like I know that the natural Type A in me is like, but wait, self-discovery no, like just tell me like this three-step process that I can do right now. I don’t have to do. I don’t know—time for reflection. And, but yet I, the coach in me, also knows we’ve got to start with, with it. It’s thinking that we can try those quick trick three-step things without looking at ourselves. That’s where we end up back where we are. So I get it, and I love that you’re like proposing to start with your own self-discovery. What makes you feel relaxed? What makes you feel good? Because we often want to skip that step, and every time we skip it, we’re going to be right back where we were before.

Rest, Reset and Redirect for Better Stress Management

Aditi Ramchandani:

Yeah. And look, you know, if you do want to skip that step, I can actually give you what to do. If you want a one, two, three, like literally what our bodies need more than anything is rest. Because if we are in constant stress mode, our bodies are not able to be in rest and repair mode. And that’s where the healing happens. That’s where our immune system gets stronger. So just think about it. If you are in a chronic mode all the time, always anxious, always worried, always fearful, whatever that may be. You’re not giving your body that time for rest. So the first thing you want to do is add rest into your day in some way or some form, whether that means resting by basking in the sun for 10 minutes, whether that’s resting by laying down for 10 minutes or, and the rest means no distractions.

Like you want to put your phone away, you want to be away from screens. You want to really truly just be with yourself. Being with nature is very resetting. And so rest is one thing you want to add to yourself here. And another thing is a reset activity. And a reset activity is really that rejuvenating activity. Nature is a great way to do that. Just going outside actually learned this yesterday. Even just putting your hand on a tree trunk actually lowers your blood pressure. Did you know that?

Jenn DeWall:

I did not know that.

Aditi Ramchandani:

It’s insane. And I was like, I’m going to go touch every tree that I see, you know, to just like it literally connects to your body and reduces stress, which is great news. Another reset activity like laughter if you love a comedy, like watching something funny reset activities are also like yoga meditation.

That’s where all that kind of falls into that. And then the third thing you want to do is redirect. So it’s just paying attention, being observant of when you are getting into that stress mode, and then redirecting your focus and your energy. Gratitude is a great way to help you redirect. There are some mornings where I’m finding, you know when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and you’re just like in a bad mood, and it just goes with the rest of your day. So that’s an opportunity for you to redirect if you want to, like, sometimes you’re like, no, I just want to be grumpy. So honor that like, that’s just where you are right now, total acceptance. And you know, you’re just not in a place to move it, but if you’re ready to redirect it, gratitude is a great way— appreciation— tapping into your senses.

Like just absorbing the environment around you, appreciating where you are and what you have, like the beautiful background behind you, like, I really appreciate this. Or, or even talking to your body like, Hey brain, I learned that your brain is what actually keeps you alive. So like, Hey brain, thank you so much for keeping me alive today. The celebration also helps shift your energy. Like what’s one thing that you want to celebrate right now. Even if these like five things like suck right now in your life, like what are five things that are amazing? Like just balancing it out can make a huge difference in your stress levels. I love. And even maybe we should give like a moment to people to think of what are those things in your life? I mean, the one that we all have, you’re listening to this, you’re on the right side of the ground. You are six feet above the ground, which means you’ve got choices.

Jenn DeWall:

I don’t know, you know, the full story, but there’s a blessing right there. Just being able to have the gift of life and starting with that gratitude. I mean, I have to remember, I’m, I’m lucky to even have the stress of yesterday. You know, if, if I really want to think about that and why is that so helpful? I wonder it probably just because we actually like, aren’t focusing on that problem anymore. We’re not focusing on living and being immersed in that stress. We actually see that there’s a life beyond it.

Aditi Ramchandani:

Perspective makes such a difference. Like it’s like when you’re lost in that tunnel vision, it’s painful because you’re like, this is my whole reality. But when you can have perspective and realize the tunnel is actually much bigger than where you are standing, and you thought it was, it just lightens up your mood and helps you feel more optimistic and hopeful. And just that shift in your focus can make such a big difference.

Jenn DeWall:

So the three that you said for that for our quick fix people here that want like an easy tool or solution, and I love this too, it was your three Rs. So rest, reset. So reset, like in activities that are an activity reset and then redirect, right? Yes. Awesome. I, you know, I love the redirect there’s, you know, I think it’s just great to get back in and remind ourselves that we’ve got so many gifts that are around us every single moment that we just don’t see that we’re blind to because of the stress or because of burnout and having all of those things. I love that reminder. What else, how else do you add that? So if you start with self-discovery, then what do you do?

Schedule Your Self-Care (And Keep That Appointment!)

Aditi Ramchandani:

So after the self-discovery, what you want to do is actually schedule your self-care into your calendar, like commit to it. And I want you to really understand for yourself why you’re doing this because when you’re just doing it, because you know you have to, or you think you should, you’re most likely not going to do this. So think about for yourself, what will self-care actually do for you? What will it add to your life? And why is this important to you? So really coming back to you, so like scheduling your commitment into your life. I did a hundred days of walking last year, and that was my commitment to myself. And having that container just helps because sometimes, when you try to do a lifestyle change forever, it can feel overwhelming and daunting. So even if you were to just commit to something for 90 days where, you know, I’m just going to schedule once a week to care for myself, whatever that looks like for an hour, just once a week or even just 10 minutes, but scheduling that in actually allows you to commit to it. Because instead of thinking, it would just be nice to have, it’s a, oh, I’m committing to do this for myself.

This is how I’m filling my own cup up. This is what I’m gifting to myself. You can say. And then after you’re scheduling it, this is going to be a funny one, actually, show up to your appointment! Because we’re so, we’re so good at being on time for like a doctor’s appointment, a dance class, or meeting up with a friend who we said we were going to, but what about showing up for yourself? We’re so good at showing up for others and for everyone else and other commitments. But what about showing up to your own appointment for yourself? So making that self-discovery, setting up those self-care appointments for yourself, and then actually showing up like you mean it for yourself.

Jenn DeWall:

I love the showing up. I have. I was thinking about my coach and how she really, you know—she put me on a “plan ban.” Like no more plans because you have the plan to resolve something like, Oh, I’ll take care of this. Like then, and it’ll all be fine, or like, you’ve just got to show up. You’ve got to stop making the plan because that’s really just trying to avoid something because then you give yourself that Pat on the back. Because I made a plan to talk about this.

Aditi Ramchandani:

It’s important, you know, I’m doing something important, but if you’re not showing up to your actual self-care appointment, all that planning goes out the window.

Jenn DeWall:

I think of, you know, now as I’m reflecting on my own like I used to have a really good self-care Saturday routine, and I would get up every Saturday and get a nice massage. I would that make plans with people, and I have not, you know, and then the pandemic hit and I, I haven’t had a massage since, but I used to always just do that to like work with my body and help manage stress. But then I realize I just don’t do it anymore. And I’ve got to get back to it again. It’s so easy to fall out of it. Even though I used to love those days, I would take a long time to get ready. And just for fun, not because I was dolling myself up or anything, I was just having fun, singing off my shower tunes that I did do that. I was just really living in the moment and not thinking about my to-do list. I was just like, no, these are Jenn’s days.

Aditi Ramchandani:

Exactly. And that’s why I really want to get us out of the idea that this is new, another to-do on our list, and how can we integrate it into our lives? You know, like once I did a hundred days of walking, it is now integrated into my life to the point where if I haven’t walked for three days, I like my body starts craving it. It’s like I have to do it. And it’s just a part of my routine. Now I wake up, and I either do my walk. I actually did my walk this morning before the podcast recording, or I do it like in the middle of the day as kind of a reset like in the afternoon,

Jenn DeWall:

What would you recommend? Like how can people maybe practice self-care or manage burnout at work? Like what are some of the things that they could do?

Be Aware of Your Energy Levels

Aditi Ramchandani:

I think, again, it’s that self-discovery. You have to know yourself and what works for you because everybody works differently. It’s like some people can work a million hours and be fine. And for you, if you are finding your concentration dropping off after like three hours of focused work, pay attention to that and pay attention to your energy levels at work. Like where are your strongest energy levels? Is it in the morning? Is it in the afternoon? And you can actually adjust your work schedule to do your most important tasks or the things that require the most of your energy on your high energy peak times. I find that that makes a huge difference. And then creating these, I like to call them 10 minutes of intentional joy breaks in between those focus hours of work because that actually literally resets your system.

So when you come back to work for the next focused amount of time, you’re just showing up more powerfully, you’re more focused, you’re more clear. You’re, you’re essentially doing better work. You’re performing at a higher level. So how can you add in 10 minutes of intentional joy breaks throughout your workday? And then I find that boundaries and communication are very, very important. Being clear with your team about what is working for you. And of course, sometimes, you know, it’s a group discussion, you have to find the right way to do it. And it’s not just, Oh, this is what I need, but really just having the eyes. Because especially like I find that, you know, this works really well for me. How does that work for you? And I find that the lack of communication actually causes more stress because people aren’t always aware of what their exact role is or what they’re really responsible for, or what times they’re supposed to be clocked in.

So having that communication with your team or your mentor or your boss to know like, Hey, like what exactly, how can I show up in the best way to be the best in this role for you and for this company. And understanding what your company’s expectations are—and then being able to match that with what works for your highest performance because your company wants you to be healthy too. Your company is invested in that. So don’t be afraid to have those sometimes difficult conversations about what works for you. I remember when I was in consulting, there was this one manager, and she had this boundary that at 5:30, her laptop is closed, and she doesn’t respond to any emails until the next morning at 8:30. And I found that fascinating because she was probably the only manager who I actually saw doing that. And everybody else was kind of just going with the crowd. And so that’s why I find that courage is required to be able to have self-care for yourself. Everybody respected that. And I thought that was amazing. I was like, wow, you can actually do that? You know, and you never know until you ask, you know what I mean? So don’t be afraid to ask questions on how you can make your work-life balance better for yourself because that’s going to benefit everybody.

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh, that is such a great reminder, too, that we have to have courage. And even the courage to say, is this healthy for me, for my team, for the organization? If we continue to ask for more or operate in these conditions, it’s likely not. And the courage to say it’s okay if we give up good enough. And I know this probably isn’t just—you give up “kind of good enough.” Cause that’s what you’re getting with a burnt-out workforce. You’re getting a “good enough” result. If you just give up good enough, you let go of some of those initiatives because you trust that by focusing all in on one strategy, you’re going to get that return. You give up good enough. And that’s when you go for great, but good enough has to come from not wanting to do every single strategy, just because it’s a strategy, assuming something is going to work, right?

Aditi Ramchandani:

That’s a good one. I’m giving up good enough for a great. I love it.

Take 10 Minutes for Joy

Jenn DeWall:

And I think I love that. You talked about the 10 minutes of joy. There was an organization that I was a part of that they would even build in these. There are three different types of things that they did with the employees. So they either did 15 minutes of stretching. So where they would just come together as a team, whoever wanted to would go to one side of the building, and then they would do 15 minutes of stretching or, and that they like yoga stretch. Like that’s kind of how they looked at it. Or there was another room that, and they were all on different days like that. And you would go in and do a 10-minute meditation that would be guided someone else from the organization would volunteer to read it, and people would just go in and just meditate. And then, Oh, I love the last one. There is someone that taught just Zumba for fun for 10 minutes, I just put on music, and they went and danced and had fun. And you know, it’s so interesting in the beginning, you can see some people being like, well, I can take a break to go and do those silly things, but no! We’re doing it for your own good! You will be a much better performer, a much better leader, a much better colleague. If you give yourself joy opportunities, I love that perspective.

Aditi Ramchandani:

And it is going to feel weird and uncomfortable. Like you said, those silly activities. You’re totally going to feel all of those things. So just expect it, but know that anytime you’re doing something new, you’re going to have resistance. And, everything is changing now. Like people have thought these things are all silly, but now why are workplaces implementing them? Like there’s a reason there is the science that backs it up, that all of this stuff does rejuvenate you. It does heighten your immune system. It does contribute to your happiness and productivity. So yeah.

Jenn DeWall:

How do you want to feel? Aditi, what closing remarks would you like to share with our audience? I’ve just loved it today. And even just talking about your 10 minutes of joy, that’s your redirect opportunity. So you think it’s silly, that’s still your opportunity to redirect. So you can come back and look at maybe a problem in a new way. I, you know, I, I just have loved all the tips that you’ve offered because burnout is real. And again, just normalizing it that it’s very, very common right now. But what closing, maybe advice, or insights would you share with our audience, and also, how could they get in touch with you? Because you work with organizations on reducing stress and burnout, right?

Connecting with Aditi

Aditi Ramchandani:

Yes. Yes. So I speak at organizations, I speak to groups, and I also do personal coaching. So I would love to talk to you guys about that. And closing remarks is, remember that self-care is actually filling your cup. Self-Care is not selfish because when you can show up fully as yourself, you’ll be able to give back and serve in the way you truly want to. So I find that self-care often people think it is a silly thing, or it is that thing. But I want you to remember that its self-care is essentially like, it’s like going to the gym for your body, but it’s actually going to the gym for your whole mind, body, and soul. And I find that self-care is often focused on only body care, but we really want to look at mind care and spiritual care as well. So a whole-body integration on how you’re caring for yourself. And I want you to remember that you matter. You deserve this. You deserve to take care of yourself and have that break. It will contribute to your success and happiness.

Jenn DeWall:

Thank you so much, Aditi. I appreciate it so much. And you matter!

Aditi Ramchandani:

And you matter!

Jenn DeWall:

I love that. Those are powerful ways. I hope that you know everyone listening walks out feeling empowered to go and do something to put themselves first today because let’s ask your first question again to close it out. What’s that question?

Aditi Ramchandani:

That question is, do you want stress to be the last memory of your life? And you guys can find me on Instagram @aditicreative. And if you want to book a call with me, you can head over to aditicreative.com. Let’s thrive because you matter. Thank you, everyone!

Jenn DeWall:

Thank you so much for tuning in for this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast with Aditi Ramchandani. It was such a great conversation. And if you want to connect with Aditi, you can find her on Instagram at @Aditicreative, and you can also grab her complimentary stress less guide at aditicreative. com\stressless. If you enjoyed this week’s episode, or if you know, a friend that is suffering from burnout, do not forget to share this with them. Burnout is actually a very, very real thing. And the more tools and resources that we can have to help reduce the impacts of stress the better and last. And most importantly, if you enjoyed this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, please leave us a review on your favorite podcast, streaming service.

 

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