Ruth Chou Simons, an insightful author and speaker, shares her journey of healing amidst pain and the struggle for approval. She discusses the dangers of numbing pain instead of embracing it for true healing. The conversation dives deep into the impact of cultural identity and childhood trauma on relationships and self-worth. Ruth emphasizes the importance of surrendering to faith over striving for perfection, advocating for self-acceptance and recognizing one's inherent worth while navigating the challenges of life.
Individuals often numb their pain in the pursuit of external validation, hindering their journey towards genuine healing and acceptance.
Surrendering control and embracing vulnerability fosters deeper connections, allowing individuals to confront their struggles and transform their pain.
Deep dives
The Struggle of Numbing Versus Healing
Many individuals often choose to numb their pain rather than seek genuine healing, which stems from a desire for approval and acceptance. Rejection, particularly during childhood, creates a cycle where individuals feel compelled to strive for external validation, leading to a disconnect from their true selves. This striving manifests in various ways, such as perfectionism, where one attempts to meet perceived expectations to gain love and acceptance. In acknowledging this struggle, it becomes clear that surrendering to a higher power, rather than constantly striving, may offer a path toward authentic healing.
The Impact of Childhood Experiences
Childhood experiences significantly shape one's perception of self-worth and belonging, often leading to deep-seated pain and striving in adulthood. Personal stories reveal that facing cultural differences and the pressure to conform can contribute to feelings of rejection, which are exacerbated when combined with familial expectations. For example, navigating life as an Asian American in a predominantly non-Asian environment often brought about feelings of isolation and the need to constantly seek approval. These foundational experiences can create lasting patterns of striving, making it crucial to address and heal these wounds to break the cycle.
The Role of Surrender in Overcoming Fear
Surrendering control is essential for overcoming the fear that underlies the need to strive. Recognizing that true fulfillment does not come from maintaining control over circumstances or seeking perfection allows individuals to release their burdens. Adopting a mindset of gratitude and acknowledging God's presence in their lives enables them to focus on the blessings around them. By reframing the narrative, individuals can shift from striving for external validation to embracing the inherent worth and identity found in faith.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
Embracing vulnerability is a powerful tool for growth and healing, encouraging individuals to confront their fears and share their struggles with others. This openness allows for deeper connections and cultivates community, emphasizing that no one must face their pain alone. By recognizing that everyone carries their own burdens, individuals can foster an environment where authentic conversations about pain and healing can flourish. Ultimately, leaning into these shared experiences rather than shying away from them can lead to profound transformation and strength.
Toni Collier has a discussion with Ruth Chou Simons about how sometimes we stay in our pain because we want to strive to numb the pain instead of striving to actually heal. The truth is that some of the greatest pain comes from our experience of rejection and trying to seek approval from others. It’s because we’re striving for world acceptance when we really should just be surrendered at the feet of Jesus. If you’re in a painful season right now and you’re trying to strive your way out of it, this episode is for you.