#185 Engaging with our stuff: why we keep things but don’t use them, with Dr Jan Eppingstall

Defining "Engaging with Our Stuff"

What it means to actually engage with possessions (seeing, touching, using)

Comparison to possessions fading into the background

The idea of using versus just possessing objects

Patterns of Engagement Among People Who Hoard

Sense of safety from being surrounded by possessions without interaction

Only the "top layer" of possessions typically being used

Loss of intention behind keeping sentimental or useful items

The psychological comfort of having versus using objects

Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Compulsive Hoarding

Emotional connection to the potential of objects rather than actual objects

Avoidance of decision-making by not engaging/touching items

Security and reassurance derived from the mere presence of items

Defeatism and pointlessness associated with searching for or using objects

Barriers to Engaging with Possessions

Overwhelm from the sheer volume of stuff

Active resistance and avoidance behaviours

Feelings of incompetence and adaptation through purchasing duplicates

Guilt associated with over-accumulation

Benefits of Actively Engaging with Possessions

Rediscovering useful or wanted items when sorting

Increased awareness of what is owned and where it is

Neurological and psychological benefits of tactile interaction

Insights gained from using and trying on items (e.g., clothing)

Decision-making as a muscle that strengthens with practice

Realisations about unnecessary duplicates (e.g., multiple ladles in the kitchen)

Emotional and practical hurdles in finding homes for items

Perfectionism and rigidity around item placement and organisation

Moving, Arranging, and Re-organising Possessions

Resistance to moving items from "their place" due to tradition, attachment, or perfectionism

Fear of forgetting where things are if organisational changes are made

Multi-step decision fatigue when organising

The importance of flexible, evolving systems for item placement

Confronting Avoidance and Overwhelm

The value of small steps, e.g., simply looking into an avoided bag or space

The myth of a “good reason” for keeping certain items, often dispelled when items are revisited

Developing Healthier, More Intentional Relationships with Stuff

Introducing intention and ritual to everyday interactions with possessions

“Rotation stations” and seasonal evaluation/rituals

Benefits of conscious handling, organisation, and maintenance

Cultural Perspectives and Practices

Japanese concepts:

Te Ate: hand-care, tactile connection as a ritual

Mushiboshi: seasonal airing and assessment of items

Ma: meaningful emptiness/space as a source of tranquillity

Contrasts between Western consumerism and other cultural approaches to possessions

Challenges and Solutions in Organising and Letting Go

The impact of spatial processing or organisational difficulties

Accepting that resistance to change is sometimes due to overwhelm

Personalisation and Flexibility in Managing Possessions

Tailoring organisation and engagement to one’s own needs, routines, and neurodiversity

Maximalism and the need for varying levels of stimulus—distinguishing between maximalism and chaos

Allowing spaces to be intentionally clear, embracing the benefits of emptiness

The ongoing journey of developing intentionality with possessions

The importance of kindness and patience with oneself in making these changes