What if you don’t agree with mainstream definitions of success?

What if, when looking at what everyone seems to value and strive for, you start to feel like “do I actually belong here?”

You see the well trodden path to success

The one validated by the hundreds of thousands that have gone before you. Each of their steps deepening the footprints of those that went before. As if this is the only way.

But it isn’t.

Not everyone has a path dictated to them by others.

And some of us don’t even know what path we want to take.

Instead we take a more creative and emergent route.

Also known as the experimental path.

The opposite is the conceptual path; you formulate a vision of what you want to accomplish and then work backwards to plan all the steps to get there.

However, if you have no vision of the future the only way forward is to just choose the next step based on what feels right.

This isn’t for everyone as it’s much more uncertain and possibly much slower.

It’s like following the small country lanes instead of the motorway.

In this episode of the podcast we unpack the ideas of a conceptual vs experimental type of person with Kendra Patterson, founder of the Stepping Off Now podcast.

We also talk about being a late bloomer and how she came to living a more emergent life.

Some key points from the episode:

Kendra remembers feeling like a late bloomer at the age of 22, and while working on her PhD suffered a significant period of burnout which led to her resetting her own career expectations.

Honestly, I had no vision for the future.

Kendra had to redefine for herself what success meant, and avoid judging her own success by what she thought were clear examples of having "made it". For her, a linear trajectory where one thing built to the next simply wasn't reflected in her actual life experience.

I'm gonna do what feels good to me.

Kendra had to discover a sense of faith that the next moment would bring her what she needed, so she created her own guidepost to lead her forwards.

F you guys, I'm just gonna do my own thing!

As a novelist, Kendra has had to deal with gatekeepers who make a decision on what's "worth" publishing, and what isn't. Many of those gatekeepers faced similar challenges in the past, and have now pulled the ladder up from beneath them. For Kendra, self-publishing her work has enabled her to reach more readers, free of those gatekeepers.

Some useful links from this episode:

The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer

Emergent Strategy: Shaping change, changing worlds

Kendra's website

Kendra's podcast - Stepping off now

Bret Easton Ellis Podcast

B.E.E. - Bruce Wagner - 5/18/15

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts