Stoic Quote: “Learn to ask of all actions, ‘Why are they doing that?’ Starting with your own.”

Welcome to the Via Stoica Podcast, the podcast on Stoicism.

This is another Stoic Quotes edition, where we reflect on a single passage and its meaning for everyday life. In this episode, we turn to Marcus Aurelius and a note from Meditations 10.37:

“Learn to ask of all actions, ‘Why are they doing that?’ Starting with your own.”

In another translation, he adds:

“What is his point of reference here? But begin with yourself.”

Marcus is reminding himself that frustration often comes from rushed judgments. We often assume that others act to inconvenience or offend us when, in reality, they are guided by their own pressures, habits, and priorities. The Stoic task is to pause and question the story we tell ourselves, while first turning that same scrutiny inward. Have I acted like this before, and why?

This short reflection connects directly to the Stoic disciplines of Assent and Action. We cannot control what others do, but we can examine our judgments and choose a response rooted in patience rather than impulse. Practiced consistently, this habit softens irritation, reduces conflict, and helps us meet daily interactions with more understanding and restraint.

For more, check out this related article with quotes on dealing with frustrating people:
https://viastoica.com/how-to-deal-with-frustrating-people/
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