How to Ask for Help With Depression: Specific Phrases That Save Lives

So many people living with depression hear the advice: “If you need help, just ask.” But when you’re in the middle of a dark episode, those words can feel vague, overwhelming, or even impossible.

In this powerful conversation, mental health advocate Sam Dylan Finch—a suicide attempt survivor who has lost friends to suicide—shares his 10 practical scripts for asking for help with depression. These aren’t abstract ideas, but real words you can use when you’re struggling and don’t know what to say.

From small requests like asking someone to remind you of your value, to urgent pleas such as, “I’m suicidal. I need help right now,” Sam’s language is compassionate, clear, and potentially lifesaving.

This episode is one you’ll want to save, share, and return to whenever you—or someone you love—feels lost in the darkness of depression.

Link to Sam's article: https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2018/03/03/10-ways-to-reach-out-when-youre-struggling-with-your-mental-health/

Primary Topics Covered:

• Why “just ask for help” isn’t always realistic
• Sam’s personal story of loss and survival
• 10 practical scripts for asking for specific support
• How to request help with everyday tasks when depressed
• Asking loved ones for affirmations and reminders of worth
• Language to use when you feel unsafe or suicidal
• Why believing you are worthy of help is critical
• Breaking stigma around needing support

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction and why this episode matters
 01:07 - The gap between advice to “ask for help” and reality
 01:37 - Sam’s personal loss and reflections on not reaching out
 02:24 - Why vague advice fails people in crisis
 03:17 - What tools and scripts can offer in the moment
 04:02 - Script #6: Asking for help with specific tasks
 05:22 - How small support requests help both sides
 06:04 - Script #7: Asking for affirmations or favorite memories
 07:15 - Reminiscing as a healing tool
 07:42 - Script #8: “I’m struggling and afraid I’m reaching my limit”
 08:41 - Balancing urgency and clarity in crisis requests
 09:00 - Script #9: Reaching out to acquaintances when isolated
 09:51 - The importance of believing you’re worthy of connection
 10:27 - Script #10: Directly saying “I’m suicidal. I need help now.”
 11:22 - Why suicide is an emergency like any other
 12:16 - Why reaching out is always worth it
 12:35 - The importance of staying alive and asking again
 13:05 - Reflections on believing you are worthy of support
 14:09 - Personal examples of using Sam’s strategies
 14:37 - Healing through affirmations and positive reminders
 15:12 - Closing messages of hope and connection

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