Between the age of 20 and 40 I was consumed with a wide range of existential questions, but despite endless thinking and reading, I never found a single answer. Due to some business-related stress at the age of 40, I started a simple meditative exercise as a way to acquire some peace of mind, and within two weeks a major insight occurred that led to more meditative activities. Five months later a huge cosmic-consciousness event answered seven of my questions and catapulted me into a different reality. I then concluded that all answers were "within," and for the next 15 years I went on silent meditation retreats with Christians, Buddhists, and Advaita groups during which all of my other questions got answered. Nevertheless, I still did not feel free. Then, a new question arose, "How is it possible to stay in a unity-conscious state of mind permanently rather than oscillating between a sense of selfhood and no-self?" In 1999, after a deep experience of gratitude on a solo hiking retreat, "the little guy in the head" (the sense of a personal "me") totally vanished, and the result was freedom, contentment, and understanding.
Book: Pouring Concrete: A Zen Path to the Kingdom of God – Expanded Edition
Bob's email
Transcript and summary of this interview
Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group
Interview recorded August 19, 2023
YouTube Video Chapters:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump00:04:43 - Questioning Beliefs and Exploring Existential Questions00:08:25 - The Journey of Seeking Answers in Zen Philosophy00:12:17 - The Shift in Perception00:16:07 - A Reality Shift00:19:54 - The End of the Construction Company00:24:03 - Realization of the Incomprehensible00:28:16 - Simple answers to Zen riddles00:32:17 - Finding Freedom in the Middle of Responsibilities00:35:50 - Questioning Selfhood and Freedom in the Mountains00:38:59 - The Dissolution of the Sense of Self00:42:30 - The True Self and Identity00:46:00 - The Silence of the Mind00:49:19 - Non-Abidance in the Mind00:52:39 - The Kingdom of God Inside and Outside of You00:55:59 - Shifting Attention Beyond the Mind01:02:47 - The Benefits of Practice and Reconfiguration01:06:16 - The Natural Inclination to Help Others01:09:50 - The Depth of Awakening01:13:12 - Falling Asleep During Meditation01:16:26 - Realizing the Irrelevance of a Silent Mind01:20:00 - Seeking Benefit in the Present Moment01:23:32 - Intuition and the Home of All Knowledge01:27:00 - Knowing and achieving specific things in life01:30:50 - The Blissful State on the Deathbed01:34:07 - Embracing the Unknowable Future01:37:31 - The Universal Sound01:40:44 - The Challenges of Maintaining Friendships01:48:00 - Wrapping Up with Bob